Mixed Dementia

[ScaryMary]

Hello Everyone, I'm new to this forum and I'm hoping someone can help or advise me. My Mom, who is 80, has mixed Dementia which is getting worse by the day. She seems to be at her worst when there's only one or two people with her, yet can be quite ok when there are more people around her. Has anyone else had experience of this & is it normal? Thank you in advance x

 

[Noorza]

There is no such thing as normal Mary you'll soon learn that.

Yes it's common though for them to be different at different times and different environments. Watch out for infections especially UTI's it seems very common for them to go off the deep end. It's different and fluctuates with everyone.

welcome to the boards you will find some great people here. (and me)

 

[1954]

Welcome

My MIL seems to rise to the occasion when she is with others almost proving that I am a liar about her condition! Much worse when my hubby or myself is with her. I am sure she can't keep the front up! Same with eating habits.....dire with us but at the table with visitors slightly better!

Very unpredictable this illness is

 

[ScaryMary]

There is no such thing as normal Mary you'll soon learn that.

Yes it's common though for them to be different at different times and different environments. Watch out for infections especially UTI's it seems very common for them to go off the deep end. It's different and fluctuates with everyone.

welcome to the boards you will find some great people here. (and me)

Thank you for your reply Noorza. Normal was an unfortunate choice of word!! Nothing is normal at the moment and it's getting harder all the time. I'm glad I've found this group, I'm sure there's lots of help and advice out there. Thank you x

 

[Izzy]

I'm glad you found us too ScaryMary.

My husband tends to sit back in a crowd or group of people. I wonder if in some cases the problems are masked a bit in a group. The attention sometimes being on others.

 

[Noorza]

Thank you for your reply Noorza. Normal was an unfortunate choice of word!! Nothing is normal at the moment and it's getting harder all the time. I'm glad I've found this group, I'm sure there's lots of help and advice out there. Thank you x

Sorry I didn't mean to be critical but "normal" is one of my buzz words, my son as ASD and OCD by way of explanation, my mum has vascular and senile dementia. There are no two days that are the same. Normal is a word I don't use and one of my catch phrases are that "it is the ones who aren't diagnosed that you have to worry about".


Welcome and feel free to ignore my little foibles.

 

[Izzy]

I know what you mean Noorza! Before mum died we had her with Vascular Dementia and Bill with Alzheimer's in the house. Normal? Our normal was fun sometimes!!

 

[Barry]

Hi ScaryMary
I also have mixed dementia (Alzheimer’s, LBD and Parkinson’s disease) diagnosed now almost nine years ago when I was just 58 years old. All I can add to this is to say that some days are good and some days are bad and it’s almost imposable to say that there’s a like for like within the illness as it effects us all in different ways and at different stages of the illness.

I’m now the complete opposite to your mum as I do not like to be among any type of crowded areas or have a lot of people around me and when we do have any visitors I’m always agitated, anxious and fidgety until they have gone, and as time goes by I’m finding that I need even more attention of my dear wife to help me with what used to be my normal daily life!

On bit of advice is to “TRY” and keep you mum as active as possible both mentally and physically.

Best wishes
Barry

 

[Mamsgirl]

Hi ScaryMary,

And a warm welcome from me too!

I'm fond of the expression "Normal is a setting on your washing machine." Having said that, in my opinion the sort of thing you're describing happens often enough to be called a normal part of dementia.

As others have pointed out, behaviour occurs for a reason which is not always immediately apparent but is nonetheless meaningful. Oh, and often has a tendency to do a carer's head in .

Toni x

 

[ScaryMary]

Thank you all for your very helpful replies. Myself and my sister were feeling a bit lost to be honest as over the weekend, our other sister and her family who live in Ireland paid us a surprise visit which was lovely. We keep in close contact with her so she is well informed of moms condition. While they were here Mom was nowhere near as bad as she has been in recent weeks. I can relate to a lot of what has been said, mom keeping herself in the background etc. Now that they have gone we're back to how it was before they arrived! I had noticed this before when she's had visitors, which isn't really very often. She won't mix or attend any daycare which has been suggested to her. She has no interest in anything at all. If we suggest anything to her her response is always the same, "I can't be bothered" Thank you all for listening and responding, it's helped me very much
Mary x