Missing clothes

[twinklestar]

Dear all

I feel sure someone out there has had this problem.

Mum has been in a care home for eight months. When she went into the home we had to buy mum new clothes to cope with the frequent high temperature washes, etc. All clothes have to be labelled. We have got into the routine and doing this ourselves when we buy anything new. This means that we do not have to wait for the laundry to do it. However, our problem is that mum's clothes go missing. This is for a variety of reasons. They are put in the wrong room, other residents take them, etc. In the recent past we have had two single slippers go missing from two different pairs. So far one has turned up and we had to resort to buying a new pair. We have recently had to report two cardigans and two pairs of trousers going missing. So far they have found the trousers and one of the cardigans. The trousers had to be relabelled. I have had to resort to keeping a photographic record of her clothes. Looking after mum's clothes has become a job in itself.

A friend recently told me that she has to replace her mothers clothes on a regular basis due to the washing regime.

Any thoughts?

 

[nannylondon]

Sorry to hear about your mum's clothes going missing my husband is in a care home and I haven't had this problem thank goodness is the laundry done in home or sent out.
Haven't any advice other than to speak to the staff.

 

[Beetroot]

Step ma in law's stuff was always going missing when she was in a CH; and they'd ruin anything made of wool with the hot washes and harsh detergents and her bras too. Her daughter took to doing her washing.
Mu mum had some respite care out of hospital in a CH. I left a laundry bag in her bathroom with instructions on it that all laundry was to go in here for me to collect and not be done by the home. I had to liberate clothes from their laundry a couple of times, but it worked well enough most of the time.

 

[fizzie]

The CQC are hot on missing clothes = partly because it represents a loss of dignity and respect. I would suggest that you complain in writing to the home saying exactly what you have said here. It's not ok to lose peoples' personal possessions - it is insulting and it costs a lot of money so please don't just accept it. Complain in writing once and then complain again and again - many homes have now sorted out this problem - but loads of them don't consider it a priority and the only way to change that is by formal complaint!
Sorry you are having this trouble - It is such an unnecessary stress which just requires very simple organisational skills

 

[Quilty]

I tend to be a bit more pragmatic about this. I think you need to pick your battles. I make sure mum has multiples of the things she needs and take photos of specifics. Some of the wanders in the ch collect stuff and mum leaves stuff. Most things turn up eventually. As l9ng as mum looks well turned out and is comfortable i m happy.

 

[MrsTerryN]

I am the same as Quilty in regards to mum's clothes. I think mum also hides them as in the past she has worried that people are 'eyeing off' her clothes. All mum's clothes are labelled as well. Also with mum's weight loss i did have to do a few complete range replacement anyway

 

[arielsmelody]

I wonder if it would help to put something easy to spot like a yellow coloured label in all her clothes as an extra prompt for the person sorting the clean laundry.

 

[fizzie]

Yes a lot of people take the clothes home to wash themselves but it seems pretty unreasonable to me - I spent years in a massive boarding school and we never had laundry problems so I suppose I just don't get it - it is such a simple task to carry out and if they can't do that, can they do anything!!!

 

[Beate]

I agree - why would I want to do their washing for them! If clothes are labelled, it shouldn't be a problem, but I guess some people just don't care. My OH was in respite for less than a week and I told them when I would come and collect his belongings. Nevertheless, half of his clothes were not in his room when I arrived. Luckily, I'd made a very detailed inventory so could tell them exactly what was missing. We went down to the laundry room together, and slowly things started to appear in all corners. I found his wallet on top of the washing machine! But we're still two pairs of socks short. They were not labelled and I told them this at the beginning but they assured me it wouldn't be a problem. Why I believed this I'll never know. Plus one of his cardigans is totally shrunk now. I have no idea why they need to boil wash everything. It didn't prevent him getting ill! If the Day Centre can wash at 30, so could they. And do you really need to change and wash socks every day?

Funnily, at Revitalise laundry is never a problem. They stick a label with the room number attached to a safety pin through every piece of clothing, and you get it back the next day, lovingly ironed and folded.

 

[canary]

I am very happy with mums CH - the carers are lovely with her, the food is good, there are activities organised and mum is settled and content - my only gripe is the laundry.
I too find that things go missing, but honestly, I feel that in the grand scheme of things it is not such a big problem. Mum leaves things around, other residents think that things are theirs ( I once took mum out for the day and got her to put on the fleece that she had over her knees as it was cold out. It was only when we got back that I realised that "her" fleece had someone elses name in it ) and things get put in the wrong rooms. I agree that most things turn up eventually.

 

[Quilty]

My mum put her housecoat and slippers on her f4ienf one day as she "looked cold". I spent ages trying to find them with one of tgd carers. When we fave up the lady walked into the lounge. Then mum remembered! We are not dealing with ordinary life here. All sirts of weird stuff gies on, particularly if you have a couple of "collectors" living there. Sometimes my mum is one of them. Dont sweat the small stuff. Otherwise im very happy. The staff actually love the residents. Money cant buy that so i always try to praise long and complain little.

 

[alison1981]

My mum's stuff goes missing as well and we think residents walk in and take them as mum has other people's things as well. We have put her name in her clothes, even her knickers! She hates having her name in her knickers. When we tell them at the home they just say oh well we will find them/it. They have never found 3 of mum's skirts she had. She has now only got one skirt. We take her more in, it's gone the next time we go.

My mum was always such a smart dresser and she had lovely things, not any more. It is annoying.

 

[fizzie]

eeek Sarby that sounds horrendous !

 

[Spamar]

I used to get furious at clothes that went missing, and he was only there 3 months. Apparently there were 4 people who worked in the laundry. 3 were good. The 4 th didn't care. Everything was labelled, so no excuse. Though funny how the posh socks went missing first!
Chocolate left in a drawer also went missing, I know he hadn't had it, he wouldn't have been able to find it, or eat that much. I started taking in a square a day! One of his sticks went missing ( he got unable to weight bear), his glasses went missing, they should have been around his neck at all times. He managed to keep his dentures! Even though they took them out at night and didn't always out them in next morning.
If he hadn't died when he did I was ready to raise merry h***.
I still get very annoyed about it.

 

[lori107]

Missing items

Fil has been a the care home since the beginning of November and keeps saying things are going missing or taken from him. His glasses have gone but as he is registered blind he wouldn't have known where he took them off even if he could remember he was wearing them, but he can't. We bought him a new dressing gown for xmas and hubby put it on the end of his bed when he took him back that evening. The next morning we had a call from the home saying that he was very upset as it had gone. They said they had looked everywhere. Turned out that it was hanging in his wardrobe but when they showed it to him he said it wasn't a dressing gown he was given but a top so they spent hours looking for it. We still couldn't convince him that it was his even when we went in the following day. It must be a nightmare for some of the staff, I really feel for them in some situations.

 

[Maggie42]

My husband''s NH have lost dozens of items of his clothing. I could accept 10 or even 20% loss but it is far higher. They also don't send personal toiletries or clothes even on a planned hospital admission. This doesn't sit very well with treating residents with respect and dignity. I haven't made it a priority as there are usually bigger issues surrounding his care that take my attention. It does upset me though. Regards Maggie

 

[Katrine]

Maybe it was someone else's relative wot dunnit?

When MIL first came to her CH she would empty her drawers and wardrobe and distribute the clothes all around quite a large building, in whatever bedrooms took her fancy. The staff would work hard to recover the missing clothes, but, when that has to be done several times a day, it is an unacceptable drain on staff time.
It seemed that MIL needed to empty her room of "not my clothes" in order to be able to get off home, where she thought her own clothes were anyway.

MIL would also take whatever she wanted from other people's rooms, and would empty their wardrobes and lay all their clothes out on the bed. Her best mate who is a tall size 16 had to be cut out of a pair of size 10 petite trousers that MIL had somehow forced her into. There was a serious risk of falls during these secret dressing up sessions, which meant increased supervision of MIL as part of the staff's duty of care to other residents.

MIL now has no clothes in her room whatsoever, and the obsession has abated. There is a large locked linen cupboard at the end of the corridor. We supplied several lidded plastic boxes for her clothes to go into. The staff provide her with night clothes in the evening and take away her day clothes. In the morning she gets clean day clothes.

You would think that there would now be no problem with managing her clothes, seeing as how she, and other residents, no longer have access to her wardrobe. Wrong. A couple of months ago I went to check and sort her stuff and decided to bring it all home with me for the day. I sorted it all into the following categories:

Belongs to MIL, and has a name tape, sticker or tag:
OK - return to CH, or replace it with a different garment from her spare clothes.
Needs mending/re-labelling - mend, and return to CH, or keep with her spare clothes.
Stained/smelly/torn/shrunken - remove name tape/label and recycle.

Has someone else's name inside:
Return it to CH.

Has no name inside:
Suitable for MIL to wear - put her name tape on it, return to CH
Stained/smelly/torn/shrunken - recycle.

Has MIL's name written on the collar in pen, but it is NOT hers!:
Suitable for MIL to wear - put her name tape on it, return to CH
Stained/torn/shrunken - recycle.

If you're still with me, can you see how your mum's skirt / trousers / cardigan / socks / bra / knickers / pyjamas / cotton hankies, or whatever, might have been thrown away, or purloined, by me!

 

[Emac]

Well Twinklestar, you can see we are all in the same boat here with varying degrees of loss of possessions and varying levels of tolerance for this lack of organization. Mum has been in care for 3 months....things disappear and almost always re-appear with monotonous regularity labelled or not. Sometimes clothes belonging to another resident and in a much larger size appear in her room How do they get there? Do residents put them there, or can't the laundry staff read? Who knows. It's a mystery....though recently the staff asked if they could lock the door to Mum's room during the day to stop other residents going in there (Mum never did). It seems because it is at the end of a corridor residents who like to walk get to the end and turn right into the room when they can go no further...then of course they come back out with 'stuff' not realizing it is not theirs. I have some sympathy with staff because none of the residents can identify their belongings so it can't be easy!

Like Fizzie I think it's important that the CH makes an effort because it IS undignified to dress a person in any old clothes. As the daughter of someone who was always beautifully dressed one of the things I try to do for her is make sure she still looks nice (even if she may not care these days) so to find her in the wrong clothes or in clothes that don't match (sorry this may be a step to far I know ) or with things missing IS upsetting. However I also recognise the 'choose your battles' argument and how you could be run ragged keeping on top of everything couldn't you? My solution so far is to put up with things going missing and only flag it up if they don't reappear after a day or so, NEVER let the care home label stuff always do it yourself, stick to easy care machine proof clothing for the care home and keep nice stuff at 'home' for special occasions which we take in on the day with a big 'do not wash family will collect label' attached. Never send in anything you wouldn't want to be lost, so cheap costume jewellery etc. This has worked fairly well so far! If it was really bad though I think I would complain especially as CQC expect them to get it right. Thanks Fizzie for this info.

 

[Emac]

I sorted it all into the following categories:

Belongs to MIL, and has a name tape, sticker or tag:
OK - return to CH, or replace it with a different garment from her spare clothes.
Needs mending/re-labelling - mend, and return to CH, or keep with her spare clothes.
Stained/smelly/torn/shrunken - remove name tape/label and recycle.

Has someone else's name inside:
Return it to CH.

Has no name inside:
Suitable for MIL to wear - put her name tape on it, return to CH
Stained/smelly/torn/shrunken - recycle.

Has MIL's name written on the collar in pen, but it is NOT hers!:
Suitable for MIL to wear - put her name tape on it, return to CH
Stained/torn/shrunken - recycle.

If you're still with me, can you see how your mum's skirt / trousers / cardigan / socks / bra / knickers / pyjamas / cotton hankies, or whatever, might have been thrown away, or purloined, by me! [/QUOTE]

I got lost half way through this Katrine, but it's late and maybe i am just tired! lol!

 

[Katrine]

Emac. Put more simply, there are 4 categories:

1. It IS hers, and has her name tape/label on it.
2. It's got someone else's name on it.
3. It has NO name on it.
4. Someone else has written her name on it.


OK? Then you decide what to do with the clothes in each pile, depending on what condition they are in.