My mother is in a care home and I visit alternate days. She is so miserable and so mixed up. I try hard to engage her interest in things. Today I took her out to a garden centre. She used to love plants. She was extremely negative and difficult. I felt I did not want to repeat the experience. Just feel my visits mean I enter her nightmare world. I can't make it better for her no matter how hard I try, and things just get worse for me. All of the things she imagines are real to her - it is horrible for her. I can't seem to make a difference and I feel guilty for not wanting to visit her. When we were nearly back at the home today I realised she did not know I was her daughter. No one should suffer the way my mother is suffering. I could not abandon her, but I can understand why some relatives stop visiting. I felt so low after seeing her today. I wish I had family members to share the responsibility.