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MIL Very aggressive

Anney63

Registered User
Oct 5, 2016
22
Visited my MIL in the home today . She’s getting worse now . Had nothing on her feet plasters on where she had scratched herself he skin is paper thin . They were taking her back to her room as she is getting really aggressive with everyone . They said they couldn’t get her slippers or socks on her . So worried about her spoke to the person in charge and asked if a doctor could see her maybe give her some sort of medication . Got told they will asked the doctor on Tuesday she’s 97 . Her feet were cold I put her socks and slippers on ok . I think deep down she knows my voice her sight has gone . I took her to her room and sat a while and played some music . How long is this going on . Her arms are covered in bruises and scratches . Has anyone else had the same problem . I go every week as I don’t live local . There may come a time where I can’t get there what will happen then . I’m seriously thinking of getting her moved nearer but will that do more harm than good help !!!
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,075
Scotland
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
 

Anney63

Registered User
Oct 5, 2016
22
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
Yes
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
Yes she has her nails short her skin is so flimsy and E45 is rubbed in every day
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
Are her nails cut short? Can you use E45 Itch Relief Cream to stop her scratching. Could the GP give her an anti histamine? She must be uncomfortable.
 

Anney63

Registered User
Oct 5, 2016
22
Her nails are short I check them every week . E 45 has been part of her treatment since day 1 . Her skin is so very thin now . Feel so helpless phones the home this afternoon she has settled a bit in her room now
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,075
Scotland
Glad to see that. Anti depressant should be the way to go but the dose may have to be upped if no improvement.
 

Anney63

Registered User
Oct 5, 2016
22
Glad to see that. Anti depressant should be the way to go but the dose may have to be upped if no improvement.
Poor MIL now very frail has chest infection now more antibiotics . Not been eating much but I managed to get her to eat mash and a little bit of veg but couldn’t manage chicken . Just hate seeing her so frail she went back to bed after her lunch bless her she was exhausted . How much more can she take so frail and 97 heartbreaking
 

Onmyown

Registered User
May 30, 2017
385
No advice as my mum is not there yet but gosh it must be so hard to see her like that. Mum has deteriorated in last few weeks with memory which is a shock she can't remember 15mins ago. I know now she's going downhill. I feel so sorry for you I don't know if I'll cope when mum gets this bad? But I'm sure I'll have to. Hopefully the antidepressants will work. My mum is on them years so I wonder if she would be more aggressive without them?
 

DollyBird16

Registered User
Sep 5, 2017
1,186
Greater London
Hi
Bless you it’s so hard when we have no control to make the horror just go away.
I agree with what you said on voice recognition, I’d imagine you give great comfort to MIL.
Have you tried diprobase cream for the itching and sore skin, we call it the magic cream, seems to save us every time. You can buy it but GP can pscribe very large tub.
Thinking of you.
 

AitchM

Registered User
Mar 29, 2015
13
Yorkshire
Visited my MIL in the home today . She’s getting worse now . Had nothing on her feet plasters on where she had scratched herself he skin is paper thin . They were taking her back to her room as she is getting really aggressive with everyone . They said they couldn’t get her slippers or socks on her . So worried about her spoke to the person in charge and asked if a doctor could see her maybe give her some sort of medication . Got told they will asked the doctor on Tuesday she’s 97 . Her feet were cold I put her socks and slippers on ok . I think deep down she knows my voice her sight has gone . I took her to her room and sat a while and played some music . How long is this going on . Her arms are covered in bruises and scratches . Has anyone else had the same problem . I go every week as I don’t live local . There may come a time where I can’t get there what will happen then . I’m seriously thinking of getting her moved nearer but will that do more harm than good help !!!
Hi, can sympathise as my dad sounds similar to your MIL, and I visit weekly as live 50 miles away. We find that lots of good emollient rubbed in frequently (these massages seem to soothe frayed tempers too!) and Shirley Bassey on repeat in his room often helps (Dad was obsessed with her in days gone by!). Slipper socks are a good alternative when he's awkward about proper slippers too. The care team just try at regular intervals to put them on and eventually he agrees. Hope this helps, it's not easy to watch from afar but think hard before you bring her nearer and have to cope with it more often- will that really help either of you?
 

Anney63

Registered User
Oct 5, 2016
22
Hi, can sympathise as my dad sounds similar to your MIL, and I visit weekly as live 50 miles away. We find that lots of good emollient rubbed in frequently (these massages seem to soothe frayed tempers too!) and Shirley Bassey on repeat in his room often helps (Dad was obsessed with her in days gone by!). Slipper socks are a good alternative when he's awkward about proper slippers too. The care team just try at regular intervals to put them on and eventually he agrees. Hope this helps, it's not easy to watch from afar but think hard before you bring her nearer and have to cope with it more often- will that really help either of you?
 

Anney63

Registered User
Oct 5, 2016
22
Hi again
Not been on for a while MIL been ok but very frail now but still eating well until yesterday morning . The home phoned to say they had called an ambulance . Hospital and diagnosed a stroke . No change today hasn’t opened her eyes not speaking just a moan now and again . Left side affected . How much more can this lovely lady take . She does have a DNR in place . So thus may or may not be nearing the end who knows . I’m home for a little while but will go back this afternoon as they have said she is stable whatever that means . With a stroke anything can happen .
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,075
Scotland
You are a very loyal daughter in law. I hope she hears you and is comforted. I know when my BIL was dying he waited until John and I arrived and held his hand then died twenty minutes later. He did recognise us. I was glad we were there for him. John was already in early stage Alzheimer’s and didn’t appreciate the importance of it.