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MIL toilet issues

littlerose12345

Registered User
Jan 22, 2021
26
0
We care for MIL with dementia and toileting seems to be getting worse. She is fine for a wee but no2 she seems to forget how to wipe properly and doesn't use enough paper which results in hands and toilet seat getting in a mess and constant dirty towels.

Has anyone experienced this?? Getting to the loo and realising she needs to go is absolutely fine, it's just the clean up process is a problem :(

We are at the stage where I think we need carers in to come and help her get ready in the morning. Would they be able to deal with the above? sorry completely new to what would be under their remit. Also whilst she is mostly regular sometimes the no2 won't be in the morning and may be during the day when she goes to the local care home for day care.

thanks in advance.
 

Bracks48

Registered User
Jun 18, 2016
37
0
This is exactly what my mum does! She knows when to go it’s the cleaning up she seems to forget what to do. Resulting as you say with mess everywhere- including bedding on a daily basis after her sitting down. I also find pieces of toilet paper folded up all over the house. My mum has caters 4 x daily however they don’t seem to be able to help, they sometime change the bedding. Such a shame as she would hate to be like this. 😢. To a lot of people my mum isn’t to bad with dementia but they don’t see this on a daily basis which is so frustrating (I am the only family member that visits) as I spend most of my daily visit cleaning up and changing beds If anyone has any suggestions…?
 

littlerose12345

Registered User
Jan 22, 2021
26
0
Oh gosh it's so hard isn't it :(

We have two young children so they know not to go in her bathroom but I worry if we haven't caught her after she's been to the loo and not washed her hands properly. It really stresses me out :(
 

Harky

Registered User
Oct 13, 2021
49
0
We care for MIL with dementia and toileting seems to be getting worse. She is fine for a wee but no2 she seems to forget how to wipe properly and doesn't use enough paper which results in hands and toilet seat getting in a mess and constant dirty towels.

Has anyone experienced this?? Getting to the loo and realising she needs to go is absolutely fine, it's just the clean up process is a problem :(

We are at the stage where I think we need carers in to come and help her get ready in the morning. Would they be able to deal with the above? sorry completely new to what would be under their remit. Also whilst she is mostly regular sometimes the no2 won't be in the morning and may be during the day when she goes to the local care home for day care.

thanks in advance.
I'm afraid it's time to accompany her to the toilet. I'm fortunate to be retired so care for my wife 24/7 . I've experienced this problem, she always blamed someone else. She still attempts to go herself as she doesn't realise the problem. I was continually up and down every time she went out the room until I eventually fitted a door alarm alerting me each time she opens the door.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
271
0
My pwd does exactly the same. Little nuggets and streaks everywhere. Short of going in with her and helping her wipe, which neither one of us wants, I don’t know what else to do. I just keep an anti bac spray handy, and make sure the toilet/sink/walls/lightswitches etc are clean every time.

I’ll be watching this thread, in case anyone’s got a solution!
 

Bracks48

Registered User
Jun 18, 2016
37
0
I'm afraid it's time to accompany her to the toilet. I'm fortunate to be retired so care for my wife 24/7 . I've experienced this problem, she always blamed someone else. She still attempts to go herself as she doesn't realise the problem. I was continually up and down every time she went out the room until I eventually fitted a door alarm alerting me each time she opens the door.
Hi Harky

I don’t live with my mum she lives alone. So anytime I’m visiting the “damage has already been done” so to speak.
 

Harky

Registered User
Oct 13, 2021
49
0
My pwd does exactly the same. Little nuggets and streaks everywhere. Short of going in with her and helping her wipe, which neither one of us wants, I don’t know what else to do. I just keep an anti bac spray handy, and make sure the toilet/sink/walls/lightswitches etc are clean every time.

I’ll be watching this thread, in case anyone’s got a solution!
My wife was totally against me going in with her. After a couple of weeks of uncomfortable discussions she now accepts that I go in with her, although she still attempts to go herself (that's where the alarm comes in handy). I have got to instruct her what to do otherwise I'd be back into the similar issues you're experiencing.
 

Bettusboo

Registered User
Aug 30, 2020
71
0
Similar issues with my Dad. There is no way he would let anyone help him with this. I make sure there are flannels and towels to use and this allows him to do a good enough job. I change the towels and flannel and clean the bathroom, sink, toilet, bathroom floor and do lots of underpant washing whenever it is needed, as do the daily carers. I feel this is the best we can do for now and is good enough. No one else uses that bathroom though.
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,701
0
My mother in law was like this. She lived on her own with carer visits three times a day . It started off well with carers helping her with meals and prompting medication. Once she began to have faecal problems, then, the carers were simply not enough to cope with her. They could clean up after her, but the constraints of their time, constantly rushing to the next call, meant, she was often left with a dirty bathroom. She needed constant supervision with help to accompany her to the toilet and this was one of the tipping points for her to go into care.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
912
0
As my dads dementia progressed the toileting issues with no 2 just got worse he had already had a catheter fitted due to a spell in hospital and catheter became permanent. Dad had carers in four times a day so yes they are used to the clean up if needs be which in dads case was every day. Dad could open his bowels at any time of the day and often more than once he was always soiled in the morning and obviously its not very nice. If dad attempted to clean himself he could make an awful mess leave dirty towels and flannels in the airing cupboard he would hide his pads everywhere. I know the carers would always take dad to the toilet when they visited and if lucky he could sometimes be encouraged to sit and use the toilet obviously making their visit and clean up much easier. So the part of your question regarding carers they are used to this and could obviously help assist your MIL to toilet on their visits. On occasion dads poor carers would have cleaned him, dressed him only for him to soil before they left meaning a dash to clean him up again. The carers used a lot of wipes, toilet roll to clean dad up and flannels in a bowl of hot water if really bad. We always kept a good supply of wipes and nappy bags. My dad refused to have a bath or shower for three years so carers had to do the best they could.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
912
0
My mother in law was like this. She lived on her own with carer visits three times a day . It started off well with carers helping her with meals and prompting medication. Once she began to have faecal problems, then, the carers were simply not enough to cope with her. They could clean up after her, but the constraints of their time, constantly rushing to the next call, meant, she was often left with a dirty bathroom. She needed constant supervision with help to accompany her to the toilet and this was one of the tipping points for her to go into care.
Hi @Rosettastone57 to be honest my dad should have gone into a care home a long time before he did but there were a few reasons that didn't happen, sister didn't want that, dad didn't want that and he would have only been part self funding with his pensions so LA didn't help. The toileting issues went on in his home for too long he also lived alone as mum had passed. Both my sister and I would have to clean dad up as well definitely not something I ever envisaged having to do.
 

Moggymad

Registered User
May 12, 2017
906
0
My mums attempts to clean herself led to a lot of UTI’s because she kept wiping from back to front. Antibiotics then made the problem worse as they upset her stomach & she couldn’t get to the toilet on time. Her carers always dealt with the accidents whilst there & let me know if anywhere needed more cleaning. Mum would sometimes attempt to clean up herself whenever she was alone. These were the times I dreaded.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
271
0
I’ve sometimes wondered if those Japanese style toilets that clean and dry your bum would work, but I suspect she wouldn’t be able to work it.

@Harky thank you, I think you’re right, but I don’t live with mum, so not always doable (plus I’m very squeamish and mum’s very private)
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,162
0
South coast
I’ve sometimes wondered if those Japanese style toilets that clean and dry your bum would work, but I suspect she wouldn’t be able to work it.
I think that if they cant even work out how to use toilet paper, then they wouldnt have a clue about a load of buttons
 

Roman223

Registered User
Dec 29, 2020
159
0
We care for MIL with dementia and toileting seems to be getting worse. She is fine for a wee but no2 she seems to forget how to wipe properly and doesn't use enough paper which results in hands and toilet seat getting in a mess and constant dirty towels.

Has anyone experienced this?? Getting to the loo and realising she needs to go is absolutely fine, it's just the clean up process is a problem :(

We are at the stage where I think we need carers in to come and help her get ready in the morning. Would they be able to deal with the above? sorry completely new to what would be under their remit. Also whilst she is mostly regular sometimes the no2 won't be in the morning and may be during the day when she goes to the local care home for day care.

thanks in advance.
 

Rachelnewf

New member
Jan 20, 2022
3
0
I'm afraid it's time to accompany her to the toilet. I'm fortunate to be retired so care for my wife 24/7 . I've experienced this problem, she always blamed someone else. She still attempts to go herself as she doesn't realise the problem. I was continually up and down every time she went out the room until I eventually fitted a door alarm alerting me each time she opens the door.
A door alarm is a great idea. Can I ask what you used please?
 

Roman223

Registered User
Dec 29, 2020
159
0
Mum has toileting issues 'no 2' and the last time I visited her at the Care Home she had a toileting accident. The bathroom was in a complete mess. The floor, taps, sink were covered and she managed to get herself messy. I don't think she even realised. She had got it on her hands, and slippers. It was so disturbing to see as mum was such an independent proud and private person .... But this terrible crueliest disease gets in the way. Unfortunately on reading other posts this is such a familiar subject.
 

Harky

Registered User
Oct 13, 2021
49
0
A door alarm is a great idea. Can I ask what you used please?
Check out door alarms on Amazon there's quite a selection. Unfortunately mine has just stopped working today after 4 weeks!!!. Looking for another one but think all made in China. Checked a lot of reviews and lots of people having similar problems. Pity, it was the ideal thing for our problem. Currently checking out another one on Amazon that you can pair to your phone. Here's hoping this is more reliable 🤞