MIL has died from COVID-19

[Miss Merlot]

Hi all,

Not sure if there is still anyone about from the 2012 - 2016 period, other than maybe the mods (hello mods!), but this forum was a true lifeline for us during the worst of dementia's ravages, until MIL finally went into care at the end of 2016.

Just stopping by to say that our own journey has now come to an end - tonight she passed away in hospital from the coronavirus (confirmed via testing), which was contracted in her residential care home. Not the end we would have wanted for her by a long stretch - we couldn't even go to hold her hand towards the end.

Am not religious by any means, but God rest her poor soul - and forgive me all the angry and obnoxious words I spouted on here at the time.

Wishing all the best to all still embroiled in the dementia journey.

MM xx

 

[jugglingmum]

Hi Miss Merlot, I'm still here, my mum is still in extra care flat, she was 90 earlier this month, although she wouldn't manage a move in their at the level she is at she is well liked and looked after by the carers, and does like her own flat.

Thanks for popping by to tell us, I did wonder how things had gone. I'm sorry that Covid caught up with your MIL, I've lost a colleague (age 61) and know a few people who've lost elderly parents.

Look after yourself, and your OH.

 

[LynneMcV]

I am so sorry to hear your news @Miss Merlot - it is especially hard at a time when people are restricted from being with their loved ones. Thinking of you and your family and wishing you all peace and strength going forward.

 

[nellbelles]

@Miss Merlot my condolences on your sad loss wishing you and your family strength for the coming days

 

[nita]

I remember you! We met at a restaurant in London back I forget when - sometime in the early-mid 2010s. My Mum became very ill with Alzheimer's at the end of 2011 and that's when I joined TP. She passed away at Christmas 2016. We were very close and I miss her very much, dream about her all the time. She caught a cold which became pneumonia (I think from a carer) so I'm sure she would have succumbed to this current virus as she was bedbound and nearly 93.

You're right - the forum was a lifeline for us and I don't know what I would have done if my friend hadn't bought me a laptop about that time. I feel guilty now that I was on it so much while I sat with Mum - she was asleep a lot of the time though so not aware. I'm afraid I didn't take the advice on here though which was for her to stay in a care home after respite - I'm glad I did manage to keep her at home where she died.

It's hard not to feel some regret when a person dies but I remember you had a hard time caring for your MIL. It is good she is now at peace. I can't remember if your husband was close to his mother or not, but condolences to you both.

 

[Beate]

I remember you too, Miss Merlot, and met you at the same restaurant event as nita.

Really sorry to hear about your MIL, the situation in care homes at the moment is terrible, and it can't be easy having to deal with restricted visiting times and funerals.

All the best to you, and thanks for giving us an update.

 

[Grannie G]

Sorry your update contains such sad news @Miss Merlot. Please accept my condolences.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

My condolences to you and Mr. Merlot. So sorry that you could not be there with your MIL.

 

[Izzy]

I was also at that London meet up @Miss Merlot. I’m sorry for your loss.

 

[Cat27]

I’m sorry to read your news @Miss Merlot. My thoughts are with you.

 

[canary]

I remember you too, although we never met.
My mum passed away 3 years ago, but OH is now displaying symptoms.

Im so sorry to hear about your MIL. Yes the virus is making everything so much harder and Im sorry you could not be there for her at the end.
xxx

 

[Bunpoots]

I remember you @Miss Merlot
My dad passed away Christmas 1918 suddenly so I didn’t get to be with him at the end either.

I’m sorry you couldn’t be with your MIL it must have been awful knowing what was happening and having to stay away. My sincere condolences.

 

[Spamar]

I’m another who remembers you, @Miss Merlot. Although OH died in 2015, I still hover!
I note the people who remember you are like me, all golden oldies!
Wishing you all the best for the future.

 

[canary]

I note the people who remember you are like me, all golden oldies!

Speak for yourself!

 

[Miss Merlot]

Lots of us about still after all! Thank you all for your kind words and hope everyone is well.

What happened to gringo and garnuft in the end, does anyone know?

 

[jugglingmum]

all golden oldies

I hope by this you mean veterans of TP - at 51 I don't feel a golden oldie age wise yet! I think @Miss Merlot is younger than me and I know @Beate is.

I hope you are well @Miss Merlot - and can arrange a suitable funeral - I think most are on line streaming for those that can't attend, which will seem surreal for the one I am 'attending' on Thursday.

 

[Spamar]

Of course I meant here on TP. I have little idea of peoples ages, except for those I’ve met at Launde and elsewhere. But everyone who posted in reply to @Miss Merlot was here when I started, I think ( she adds hurriedly).
Everybody, golden oldie or not, keep safe. It’s not over yet.

 

[doodle1]

Hi Miss M another one who remembers you. Although I'm sad that your MIL died perhaps prematurely from Covid I think you can honestly feel you did your best with the knowledge you had. How is your husband??? And how are you? If you have time under the circumstances to let me know by pm it would be good. But in any case wishing you all the very best in these strange times - a big virtual hug from me xx

 

[Jale]

So sorry for your loss, take care x

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Sorry for your loss@Miss Merlot its a terrible time everyone is going through and very worrying. I haven't been on TP as long as you but lost my mother in 2016 dads mixed dementia became more obvious after she had passed. Mum didn't have dementia but ended up with Liver Cancer, she passed quite suddenly.
My dad is still in his own home with carers going into him and so far he has been kept safe. I just take supplies and his frozen meals when carer there I miss being able to go into him.
I pray this will be over soon.
Sending a virtual hug at this sad time, Take Care x