MIL at day care

[lizzybean]

She went for the first time today using their transport. I was envisioning problems but got none!
I rang her an hour before she was due to be picked up to let her know to get ready. She was a bit bothered that I was not going to be there (I think she thinks that I normally stay with her the entire time!) but didn't seem unduly put out. She said she didn't know anybody there, which I reassured her that she did & that she would remember the place when she got there.

I rang the centre at 2ish to see how it had gone & they said she was ready with coat on, bag etc. She has also been more settled today, not asking when I am picking her up straight after lunch. I don't think she ever got distressed but would just ask.

I rang her as she got home & she told me that a nice man & his wife from church? had picked her up & brought her home. She didn't think she'd been to church just in this big room. The man would not accept any money!!

Long may this continue.

 

[Grey Lad]

She went for the first time today using their transport. I was envisioning problems but got none!
I rang her an hour before she was due to be picked up to let her know to get ready. She was a bit bothered that I was not going to be there (I think she thinks that I normally stay with her the entire time!) but didn't seem unduly put out. She said she didn't know anybody there, which I reassured her that she did & that she would remember the place when she got there.

I rang the centre at 2ish to see how it had gone & they said she was ready with coat on, bag etc. She has also been more settled today, not asking when I am picking her up straight after lunch. I don't think she ever got distressed but would just ask.

I rang her as she got home & she told me that a nice man & his wife from church? had picked her up & brought her home. She didn't think she'd been to church just in this big room. The man would not accept any money!!

Long may this continue.

I hope so too. It is great to here of such a positive experience.

 

[Ann Mac]

So pleased it went so well Must have been a big relief for you - and I hope that you can now relax and enjoy the peace while you know she is safe, cared for and not distressed

 

[lizzybean]

So pleased it went so well Must have been a big relief for you - and I hope that you can now relax and enjoy the peace while you know she is safe, cared for and not distressed

Yes I hope I can too! I had to tell her a lie, saying I had to work & I know they are necessary but I really hate doing it. Especially as a lifelong Catholic on Ash Wednesday just as I was going to Mass!!

 

[Linbrusco]

Lizzybean I remember you posting to say your MIL was about to start daycare.
Great to hear its off to a good start

I took Mum for a visit to see what she thought. It is for over 60's with different health needs but mainly early/moderate dementia.
There was about 15 people there, men & women, and we sat in a group and everyone introduced themself to Mum and a little about them. The ones that couldn't or didn't want to talk, one of the carers introduced them.
Mum was talking away quite the thing to a lady sat next to her.
Was interested to hear about the different activities, and the hot cooked meal you get for lunch
We stayed an hour, but on leaving Mum said it wasn't for her. Too many people with different things wrong with them and some of them were off their head

I don't know where to from here. She needs something consistent, as she doesn't like being home more than 2 days in a row, and anything else here you have to pay for, whereas the daycare one was totally funded through our hospital

 

[lizzybean]

That's a shame Linbrusco. I wasn't sure how MIL would take to it but she seems to fit right in. They all seem to be at a similar level so she is not aware that any of them (nor herself) has anything wrong with them. To her it is just a church social. She doesn't seem to realise that she has been gone such a long time either! It's as if she thinks she been out for about an hour or so?!?

 

[opaline]

Linbrusco, I would persevere, she would probably get used to it and she possibly won't remember having been there before, x

 

[lizzybean]

She wasn't as keen this week so I said that it was OK & that I would give her the phone number & that she could call them to tell them not to come. I knew she wouldn't do that & she went.

I phoned her the next day & in the course of the conversation asked her if she'd had a good day. When I reminded her where she'd been she said "ooh yes, I had a lovely day, you would have loved it" She is still under the impression that I go & stay every week!!