1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Mik1929

    Mik1929 Registered User

    Oct 2, 2014
    19
    I am 85 and MW is 84 and is in an advanced state of Alxheimers. For four or five years MW was very abusive, both verbally and physically. Eighteen months ago she was put on memantine and resperidone and the aggression has mostly disappeared but still surfaces when I ask her to do something that she does not want to do. This is particularly so in the evening when the carer comes to give her the medication and I ask her to let the carer get her into her night clothes. This is at about 8.30pm. If she does not get in her nightwear she goes off to sleep and when I try to get her to bed at about 10.0pm she is fast asleep and it takes ages to get her into bed. MW is now bed wetting on a regular basis and I wonder what is the next stage as she refuses to admit that she has AZ. Any ideas?
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,768
    Merseyside
    Hello Mik :)

    Ask your GP to refer you to the continence nurses & see what they can advise.

    Buy waterproof covers for the mattress & waterproof sheets.
     
  3. PollyP.

    PollyP. Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    327
    Herefordshire UK
    Hi Mik1929

    You are doing extremely well looking after your wife considering you are both in your eighties.

    As for the bed wetting, your doctor, the memory clinic or social services should be able to advise you and offer free pads and possibly sheets for the bed. I was offered help for my mum by the staff at the Memory Clinic.

    I buy the Tena ladies pull up pants, they look very nice and your wife may think that they are just her normal knickers. You can get them in any of the large supermarkets or chemists.

    As for your wife not admitting that she has Alzheimer's dementia. It is possibly the case with most sufferers, they cannot understand how they are acting and cannot remember things so definitely would not be able to admit to having dementia. I never ever mention the word Alzheimers to my Mum, neither do the care home staff.

    I think that you should ask for more help, it isn't easy looking after some-one with dementia as well as the bed wetting.

    Pauline
     
  4. Mik1929

    Mik1929 Registered User

    Oct 2, 2014
    19
    Thank you polyp for your post. I have been in touch about MW's bed wetting and have had a great pile of the pants you mentioned. Unfortunately MW will not wear them yet although I am working on it. MW have just come to me for the third time this evening asking why she cannot go to bed in her day clothes so I reckon it wil take another hour to get her to bed. Happy days!
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I am wondering if your wife would compermise with you .

    In saying to her she can sleep in day clothes as long as she put pull up knickers .

    Rather then ague with my mum

    I would let her sleep in her day clothes
    Put fresh day clothes on mum in the morning

    Then mum got into routine with carers coming around .
    Mum would let Carer change her into PJ.
    Took mum ages , weeks to let carers change, wash her put her into PJ
     

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