MID ??? but CT scan normal !!!
- Thread starter Helena
- Start date
Hi helena
Sorry to hear about your mums condition taking a turn for the worse, just wanted you to know your both in my thoughts.
If i was you i'd risk a flea in my ear and give her the card now, and i'm sure she'll love it, even if she does complain that its the wrong day!
Love Alex x
Sorry to hear about your mums condition taking a turn for the worse, just wanted you to know your both in my thoughts.
If i was you i'd risk a flea in my ear and give her the card now, and i'm sure she'll love it, even if she does complain that its the wrong day!
Love Alex x
I sat waiting for her to wake up from 2pm to 5pm
I did give it to her and she complained there were too many colours !!!
I really wonder why I bothered
The flower border was subtle shades of blue, pink ,turquoise .yellow and green
The frame was pale pink as was words
Happy 90th Birthday Mum
I might just as well have been dirt of the wall
All she did was talk about my sister and how so so tired she was
I shall be interested to hear what the Consultant says on Monday about her condition ............old age and MID sucks
I did give it to her and she complained there were too many colours !!!
I really wonder why I bothered
The flower border was subtle shades of blue, pink ,turquoise .yellow and green
The frame was pale pink as was words
Happy 90th Birthday Mum
I might just as well have been dirt of the wall
All she did was talk about my sister and how so so tired she was
I shall be interested to hear what the Consultant says on Monday about her condition ............old age and MID sucks
Hi Helena
I do feel for you being so down at the moment. I'm still comparatively new to all this so have a lot to learn - but it strikes me that one of the saddest things for those of us who had less than perfect relationships with our parents prior to their illness, is that the illness takes away any chance of 'making good'.... and there is that bit of child in us that wants acceptance right up to the end. I can see how your mother's rejection of your card hurt you.
In my situation, I always had the impression that I couldn't do anything 'right' in my mother's eyes. I'm certainly not doing anything 'right' in her eyes at present but it is easier for Mum to vent her frustration, confusion and unhappiness on me than to deal with it any other way. I don't think she can now. She is beyond what we would call logic.
When Mum went into the EMI unit, I felt it was because I had failed (again), but my DH helped me to shift my thinking. At first I thought he was being unfeeling when he told me to be more emotionally detached. He told me to do what I can for Mum as if she was 'any' very old person in great need.
So what I've tried is to mentally step out of the box that was full of the pain of old and unresolved issues and into something more objective. I may well have to step back in there and sort it out later - (Some nights at 3am the contents sneak over the edge!) - but for now, it helps ME to know that I'm doing the best I can and the effect has been that I'm not as tense when visiting and can offer more physical comfort when needed. That can only be beneficial to Mum at her current stage.
I don't know whether anything I've said here will work for you. Such a learning curve for me at the moment. I could have a different view a few months down the line. However, Dear Helena, there are lots of people here sending e-hugs to you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I do feel for you being so down at the moment. I'm still comparatively new to all this so have a lot to learn - but it strikes me that one of the saddest things for those of us who had less than perfect relationships with our parents prior to their illness, is that the illness takes away any chance of 'making good'.... and there is that bit of child in us that wants acceptance right up to the end. I can see how your mother's rejection of your card hurt you.
In my situation, I always had the impression that I couldn't do anything 'right' in my mother's eyes. I'm certainly not doing anything 'right' in her eyes at present but it is easier for Mum to vent her frustration, confusion and unhappiness on me than to deal with it any other way. I don't think she can now. She is beyond what we would call logic.
When Mum went into the EMI unit, I felt it was because I had failed (again), but my DH helped me to shift my thinking. At first I thought he was being unfeeling when he told me to be more emotionally detached. He told me to do what I can for Mum as if she was 'any' very old person in great need.
So what I've tried is to mentally step out of the box that was full of the pain of old and unresolved issues and into something more objective. I may well have to step back in there and sort it out later - (Some nights at 3am the contents sneak over the edge!) - but for now, it helps ME to know that I'm doing the best I can and the effect has been that I'm not as tense when visiting and can offer more physical comfort when needed. That can only be beneficial to Mum at her current stage.
I don't know whether anything I've said here will work for you. Such a learning curve for me at the moment. I could have a different view a few months down the line. However, Dear Helena, there are lots of people here sending e-hugs to you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you
I do know that its all heavily reinforced my views on life and what I will do if i experience the same
I will not be ignoring the first warnings and heaven help the medics for failing to tell me the truth
I am so so angry right now at 2 different hospitals for failing to do CT scans on 3 occasions and thus warning us and her of what was to come
If my Mother could see herself as she has been last 8 months or so she would have taken a different way out
I do know that its all heavily reinforced my views on life and what I will do if i experience the same
I will not be ignoring the first warnings and heaven help the medics for failing to tell me the truth
I am so so angry right now at 2 different hospitals for failing to do CT scans on 3 occasions and thus warning us and her of what was to come
If my Mother could see herself as she has been last 8 months or so she would have taken a different way out
