Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

[rummy]

Merry Christmas everyone. I've been counting my blessings and trying to have a good Christmas with my Mom. So far it has been a good day. In my blessings I include all of you for your friendship and support, thank you so very much.
I hope you all have a day that when you look back, you will smile at the memory.

Debbie

 

[Jude]

Dear Rummy,

I hope the whole day has been wonderful for you and your Mother.

Jude

 

[KarenC]

Christmas: A Moderate Success

When we arrived at Mom's dementia home this morning to take her over to Dad's nursing home, she was in a somewhat sullen mood. Conversation started like:
Mom (seeing Karen): "No."
Karen: "Merry Christmas, Mom!"
Mom: "No."
Karen: "Bah! Humbug!"
Mom: "urmph..."

Then my husband appeared at her other side. Mom burst into tears, partly glad to see him, partly upset, who knows. Mom then waxed sentimental over us, her wonderful kids, but expressed very clearly that this was a terrible place, she didn't like anything about it, she didn't like anyone here. (Some days she loves everyone there and has a lot of good friends.) So we listened sympathetically for a while, and the mood started to blow over, and we turned the conversation to more cheerful channels.

After a couple of attempts, we got Mom to buy into the idea of going to see Dad. Not much trouble getting her wheeled out to the car, into the car, into a wheelchair at the other end, etc. Found Dad, who had a cold, but didn't seem too sick. But by that time Mom (who has had an intestinal virus, which we thought she was about over) began acting like she didn't feel good. Asked if her stomach hurt, she said yes. We took her back to Dad's room and got her lying down on his bed. That seemed more comfortable.

Over the next half hour we got through looking at a few Christmas cards, and opening a couple of presents. (Mom got a purple sweater, and a small stuffed lamb that goes "Bah bah bah..." to the tune of a Christmas song when you squeeze it.) Tilting up the head of the hospital bed did not seem to have any ill effects. The second or third time we asked if she thought she would like to get up and have lunch she said yes, and we wheeled her back to the dining area. She didn't eat, really, but took a couple sips each of juice and milk, and stuck her finger in the whipped cream on the pie a few times.

Getting her back to the dementia home was without trauma, and we left her in a much better mood than she had started the day with. Seemed like a win to us.

Merry Christmas to all!
Karen

 

[janew]

Dear Karen,

Gosh what a day you seem to have. I am pleased your mum was happier at the end of the day.

My day started off badly, or more upsetting as my mum for the 1st time did not really know it was Christmas. Mum had been up and down and would not sleep the night previously and I suppose in some way I was dreading Christmas Day as we were going to friends and I did not know how she would be.

Mum did not want to go the Church but in the end I gave her an ultimatium to either go to Church or the Nursing Home and after a bit of thought she decided on Church - she thoroughly enjoyed seeing her friends and it brightened her up by the time we left.

By the time we went to our friends house she was in quite a good mood. Our friends mum also has AD and to my surprise it was my friends mum who was the more difficult one but I think we just caught my mum on a good day.

Anyway by the end of the day I was pleased to sit down and think that we had had as good as it could have been Christmas.

I was thinking about everyone on TP yesterday and just wanted to wish you all Seasons Greetings and Best Wishes for 2006.

Love Jane

 

[pammy14]

Hi
My sister started xmas day badly as I found her on the floor in the bedroom. I dont think she had fell out of bed but got out and then didnt know how to get back in. She was very sleepy the rest of the day. kept forgetting it was xmas day then when we went to visit other sister thought we were going shopping to buy presents as shes forgotten that we sorted all that out. She was ok there and liked being with all the children. Also ate quite well although the stroke hand was not doing very well and was very shaky, she shakes alot if she has a bad day, Must go now to get her up

Hope you all had good Christmas

 

[nikita]

christmas

i had the best present from gran she was very alert when i visited yesterday knew it was christmas used my name several times, called me an old lady im 35 shes 95, she asked about her son who is on holiday i said he would be bringing her coconuts as a pressie she said she would pelt them at him. we treat every visit as if it will be her last that she is that aware but if thats her last christmas i will have very fond memories and some lovely photos.

 

[Lynne]

Well done everybody

You all seem to have negotiated around the potential pitfalls, and ended up with some nice memories of Christmas 2005. As Rummy says, count your blessings and remember them, not the hiccups.
Best wishes & thanks to all here who help us Newbies to understand

 

[Claire D]

As always there was only the three of us - Mum, Dad and me - for Christmas. For the third year running our Christmas lunch is chicken, chips and peas followed by Christmas pud and custard as this is what mum likes and Dad is able to cook easily - he won't let me help at all - and seems to have made the kitchen his domain these days - even told me off for putting the roasting pan in the wrong place!!

Mum loved all her presents, in particular the smellies I bought for her from Crabtree & Evelyn as they have such pretty packaging, I made a real effort to dress up in clothes I know she likes me wearing. We added more tinsel to the tree, ate chocolates and biscuits and then fell asleep in front of Singing in the Rain........

All in all it was a better day than I had thought it would be but maybe that was because I have stopped expecting it all to be the way it used to be - because it won't be.

She actually said "Come here - let me kiss my daughter for the first time" and I must have looked at her rather strangely because she then said "for years I thought you were my older sister" - she's never had a sister but maybe this is the way she's always looked upon me rather than a daughter - who knows! What I do know is that she loves me, she just doesn't understand me (never has!), and on her good days like yesterday knows she is much loved in return. I hope she always will.

Boxing Day I visited friends and had a good cry - which always makes me feel better - and feel blessed to have such good friends who let me talk and blub. So here's to 2006 - I have no idea what I might be writing this time next year but I do know the journey I am taking with Mum, Dad and this illness is humbling and certainly puts lots of things into a different perspective. I am so glad I have found TP as it is a great source of comfort to be able to write what I am experiencing and also respond to others.

Be proud of what you are all doing.......... I know it makes a difference.

 

[Hugh Handen]

counting blessings

Rummy - blessing counting is such a state of grace; it's a helpful recourse to pan out and take stock of the 'bigger picture', keeping present terrors in perspective; I often sleep best when I've counted my blessings as my head hits the pillow, and I reckon I am in a good frame of mind when I count them again before I open my eyes in the morning. No doubt there are other names for blessings and counting them - don't let's stop

Bon courage ! Hugh

 

[rummy]

The week before Christmas was difficult. My brother flew in the see Mom and we all had a wonderful viist. However, after he left my Mom got it into her head that he had been nasty to her. It is all she dwelled on all week and was really wearing us out. ( my brother never said a harsh word to her) So I wasn't sure how Christmas was going to go.
Christmas Eve we went to church services and she sang her little heart out. Had a wonderful time at her house singng carols and eatting Mexican food afterwards. My daughter arrived and we started Christmas Day with a brunch and packages and later with a big Christmas dinner. Mom was happy and participated in everything including a trio of O Holy Night with my daughter and me later in the day.
I wasn't expecting anything and got so much more ! It will be the Christmas that I will remember when the rougher ones come.
Since then however, we received news that my father in law has lung cancer and it looks bad. My Dad will go into hospital next week for a dye test to see how bad his carotid arteries are clogged, surgery is eminent. On and on we go. I think it is going to be a tough year but I will pesevere.
Debbie

 

[connie]

Dear Debbie, so sorry that you have bad news on the family front. Prayers and thoughts are with you. Lets hope that 2006 will not be too bad for you.

I thought I had done very well with Lionel this year. He was so so in the run up to christmas. very quiet christmas day. Little more alert Boxing morning, we went to the beach, but came into his own in the evening.

Went to panto (Tusday) he slept through first half, but seemed to enjoy the rest.
Some of the family dropped by today to say goodbye for a few weeks, no response. Just now he said, "I must do something nice for my daughter for a present, perhaps we could etc ,etc." I am so surprised,
a, I have had no card or present from him,
b, none of the family have been mentioned by him, although they all brought him gifts, and more importantly company and laughter:
c, said daughter has visited 4 times this year, last time 15th November...........
I feel like saying 'bah, humbug' but I guess I shall have to keep him happy, so its off to the shops tomorrow. When she will visit no one knows.......Connie

 

[Canadian Joanne]

We had a pretty good Christmas. Christmas Day my husband & I spent with his family at his eldest sister's house. His mother died in January so it was the first Christmas without her. That was difficult.

I made Christmas dinner Boxing Day, as I have for the last 3 years. My guests were my mother & my aunt, a couple who has known my mother's family forever, my 2 stepsons & girlriends & my best friend and her daughter. A few others dropped in & out for quickie visits.

It went quite well. Mum got a little anxious a few times & wanted to go "home" but I think that was because of all the talking & laughing etc. I would just walk her away from the noise to the front hall & she was fine.

I intend to keep bringing Mum home for Christmas as long as I possibly can. I think we'll be able to manage next year. After that, we'll see.

But it was good & I'm glad it went well.

I did get to watch my two favourite Christmas movies on Christmas Eve - "A Christmas Carol" wtih Alaister Sim and "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. So my Christmas was complete.

"God bless us, every one."