Mental Capacity

[Addiscombegirl]

Hi

My Mum has been judged by doctors to be independent etc. However, she's good at putting on an act.

She's out of hospital after not eating and getting weak. She won't have carers. She stayed with me but demanded to go home.

I can't get how she can have mental capacity re. decisions when after an hour, maybe less, she can't remember what she she's decided and disagrees.

I am worn out travelling an hour each way. I want a carer to go in three times a day for consistency of care (she takes tablets four times a day and needs to eat before taking them). She's not eating and loosing weight or ill as she has the pills without food. Doctors can't make her have carers and have recommended them.

Is there anything I can do? Fed up of getting her well and then she goes home and ill. Causes issues with my husband and I now as he is fed up of me practically have to live at my Mums. Bad cycle of her getting ill etc. We've tried talking to her and she shouts when we suggest carers.


Thinking of going for deputyship but worry that she might be regarded as having mental capacity and destroying my relationship with my Mum. If she remembers I've done this, that is!

 

[MartinWL]

This is linked to another thread on this.

Mental Capacity

Am I right thinking (after what I have read) that for any decision/meeting etc there has to be a mental capacity test applied. Reason I ask is that my Mum had an assessment done by SW for LA. On the assessment (which I didn't know about) she says that she had a face to face meeting with Mum. She...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Legally she only has to be able to remember information given to her in relation to a decision for long enough to consider it including the pros and cons of the decision, and announce her decision. An hour may be enough.

She is entitled to make foolish decisions if she has capacity. However you might want to move her to a care home and for that decision she will need to understand information you give her in relation to the decision such as:
-the risks to her from staying home
-the consequences of not taking medication
-the consequences of not eating properly
-the consequences of refusing carers

If she cannot understand all those things she doesn't have capacity but you need to be sure that she doesn't *understand* them. If she understands them and can weigh up the pros and cons but disagrees with your advice she has capacity to be as foolish as she likes. You could try explaining it all and getting her to explain it back to you and state what the pros and cons are. People are entitled to starve themselves to death if they know what they're doing. My guess is that she won't be able to demonstrate capacity but you'll have to determine that.

 

[Violet Jane]

If SS have decided that she has capacity then all you can do is step away and wait for a bigger crisis. Tell them that you are not supporting your mother any more because they have found that she has capacity and it follows that she is capable of making her own decisions.

I strongly suspect that when it’s made clear that there’s no / no longer family support available SS are more likely to find that the person *lacks* capacity if s/he is putting him/herself at significant risk. The whole edifice is only being held up because you are propping it up, to your considerable detriment. Do not let dementia ruin your marriage if it is a good marriage.

Some posters have got their PWD to accept carers by starting with a cleaner, which is likely to be more acceptable as many older people (and younger people) have cleaners. They have even resorted to telling the PWD that s/he will be doing the cleaner a favour because the cleaner needs a job (you may have to be creative with some sort of sob story).

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @Addiscombegirl, and welcome to Dementia Talking Point.
I agree with @Violet Jane, that your mum isn't going to get the help she needs until you stop helping. There may well be a crisis which ends her up back in hospital again, but hopefully that will make social services see that there is a world of difference between someone saying they can do something and actually being able to do it.
If your mother is deemed to have capacity you could try to persuade her to let you have Power of Attorney. You could say it's something everyone ought to do. I managed to persuade mother to do it, as a friend of hers told her what a good idea it was. If your mum has any friends that are supportive you could ask them to back you up. Power of Attorney (POA) will enable you to help her manage her affairs and gradually take over the paying of bills etc.
Keep posting, this is a very supportive place and you'll get lots of help and advice here. You might find searching for similar threads using the search bar at the top helpful too.