My husband is currently in respite care for two weeks. The social worker and her manager are planning to visit to do a mental capacity assessment to determine whether he should be in permanent residential care. He doesn't know about this and I know he doesn't want to go into permanent care but I'm finding caring for him at home myself has become very difficult. We've tried carers but it doesn't work because they are unable to come at the times that suit him. If they are not there when he wants to get up or go to bed then I end up having to do it. Also they are not there in between these times when he needs to go to the toilet, is wet before he gets there and needs changing. If they decide that he doesn't have the capacity to make this decision for himself but he still refuses to accept that he needs to be in care what happens then. I have tried to explain to him that I'm finding it so difficult to give him the care he needs but he says things like 'I will just have to do more myself'. If he could do things himself he would be doing it now. He has very poor mobility and frontal lobe dementia. I dread this turning messy and the decision being put on my shoulders. If this happens I don't think I have the strength to tell him I can't manage him at home. Has anyone been in this position? I know my daughter and my sister feel I have to make this decision but it's so hard.