All through Jan's illness I have continued to take pictures of her at various times. Some people have said "I don't know how you can do that, it is cruel! I want to remember her as she was" My view is that it is the illness that is devastatingly cruel. Jan is as she is now, never again to be as she was. One has to come to terms with that if one wants to continue to care for her on a daily basis. Those that only want to remember the not-so-distant past ignore her needs now and withdraw from seeing her at all, for whatever reason. Seems to me that this satisfies their wishes to live in a world of make-believe, at the risk of being rather selfish. I am so proud of Jan for the stoic way she has adapted herself - even if this is an unconscious thing - that I want to remember her not only as she was, but as she is, and as she will be later. What do others think?