Memory clinic

[jknight]

Update

Took mum to see the consultant. She told mum that she had dementia (which I didn't want as I knew it would freak her out). Mum then went silent for the rest of the appointment. Aricept prescribed. On the way home mum says that is the first time she has been told she has memory problems (not true) She was very tearful and I am wrung out. I do wish the word 'Dementia' hadn't been used' but I understand that the consultant had to be clear. I am hoping mum will have a good night and will have forgotten about the visit, tomorrow. Thanks for listening x

 

[Amy in the US]

jknight! You made it through! I am sorry they said "dementia" to your mother but do hope she will forget both the "D" word and her distress. I agree that if the topic should ever come up in future, that you dismiss it as best you can as "normal" age-related memory loss. A tactic that works well with my mother, is for me (to pretend) not to be able to remember something, and blame it "my rotten memory." This always distracts her and even seems to cheer her up a bit.

I think it's encouraging to hear that she seems to be early enough stage, to try the drugs. Perhaps she will have a good response to them.

Perhaps a good night's sleep and a new day will help her to be less tearful and upset. I wonder if you might try the distraction of a favourite meal or treat or activity, or even just some fresh air (if it's not raining and miserable in your part of the world tomorrow). It might make you feel better, if not her!

Thinking of you,

Amy

 

[candymad]

My mum was diagnosed late 2014, she won't accept that she has dementia, but I've had no trouble at all getting her into the memory clinic, I tell her that this the doctor that will listen to all that's worrying her. And she certainly tells him everything!!!!!

 

[jknight]

jknight! You made it through! I am sorry they said "dementia" to your mother but do hope she will forget both the "D" word and her distress. I agree that if the topic should ever come up in future, that you dismiss it as best you can as "normal" age-related memory loss. A tactic that works well with my mother, is for me (to pretend) not to be able to remember something, and blame it "my rotten memory." This always distracts her and even seems to cheer her up a bit.

I think it's encouraging to hear that she seems to be early enough stage, to try the drugs. Perhaps she will have a good response to them.

Perhaps a good night's sleep and a new day will help her to be less tearful and upset. I wonder if you might try the distraction of a favourite meal or treat or activity, or even just some fresh air (if it's not raining and miserable in your part of the world tomorrow). It might make you feel better, if not her!

Thinking of you,

Amy

Thank you Amy in the US! It was difficult but we got through it! I do realise that this is a walk in the park on the Alzheimer's journey !! xxx

 

[Amy in the US]

Just because it might be a "walk in the park" for some people here on TP, doesn't make it easier or less of a challenge or any different for you. I know you didn't mean it like this, but sometimes I have to remind myself (when I feel guilty/uneasy about my situation after reading about someone else's) that it's not a competition about who has it the hardest. I think we all have a hard time, with whatever we're dealing with.

I also think part of today was difficult for you, in not knowing what to expect, and worrying/dreading your mother's reaction. I am sure many, or all, of us can relate to that!

 

[Karina A]

Hi
I have just joined the group but found your thread and it brought back memories of when i took my mother the first time.
In case it helps - I have been open with Mum using "the words" when neccessary ( also avoided them when possible) but not explained the implications (although i suspect she knew them).
In the early days i told no one and protected her but the nurse advised i tell everyone as we were going to need them! This i have done and it allowed her friends to forgive her when she would make arrangements and then not turn up, for example.
Now as things are moving along and becoming more challenging it has allowed us to talk openly when she needs. For example, when she says "I am so stupid" I will remind her that she is not stupid but this is a symptom of her disease and in no way makes her stupid, i beleive this helps her.
This is the way we have done it - doesn't make it easy - but just one alternative.
Tough stuff but great to have found a place to chat.

 

[jknight]

Just because it might be a "walk in the park" for some people here on TP, doesn't make it easier or less of a challenge or any different for you. I know you didn't mean it like this, but sometimes I have to remind myself (when I feel guilty/uneasy about my situation after reading about someone else's) that it's not a competition about who has it the hardest. I think we all have a hard time, with whatever we're dealing with.

I also think part of today was difficult for you, in not knowing what to expect, and worrying/dreading your mother's reaction. I am sure many, or all, of us can relate to that!

Oh gosh! I wasn't comparing the experience to anybody else's. I just meant it was tough for me but I will face tougher times! I do hope I didn't offend anyone. Mum was very distressed yesterday but had forgotten today (although she did tell my daughter I took her out and we saw a man (I'm sure the lovely lady doctor would be flattered!!!!)