memory clinic appointment
- Thread starter Lulu
- Start date
My husband and I have just been making contingency plans. There has been no reply to my letter, and although it is only about 10 days, we were wondering what to do if there is no reply. We have decided to send another, with copy attached to who we think is Mum's Consultant, after 3 weeks -though I'm confident that someone will care enough to respond.
I have been interested in Kathleen's thread re coming off the anti-dementia drugs and this is one of the resons I need to discuss things with whoever is looking after my Mum. She has almost constant headache which she puts down to the head cold -but I can't work out any longer what may, or may not be real. If this is caused by Aricept, what does one do? Let her feel constantly under the weather, or forget the Aricept and allow a further decline to take hold. I am bemused, muddled and frightened -all this responsibility. I just need the Dr to listen, and discuss this... As it is, Mum is now in the throes of a headache most days, and especially on days I have organised a carer, or she goes to her 'Group'. She sometimes get up first thing with a slight headache. This we believe can progress on to a migraine, depending on what she is faced with ....And yet this evening, she is complaing of having this headcold -though she has no reason to feel threatened tonight. Her new GP has prescribed a short trial of migraine treatment, despite my attempting to bring him up to speed about what I thought may be going on with Mum, but these tablets have quite complicated dosing instructions. So I must decide if she is playing up, has a headache, has a migraine ...and it's IMPOSSIBLE.
It has been awful of late. Mum has been snapping at me. I know she can't manage without me, but she thinks she can and snaps when I fuss, and put everything in place for her. I now live Mum's life for her -mine has disappeared somewhere and I don't know when I shall get it back. Not that I want to lose her, because then it would be just as bad -I can't imagine her not being there anymore -yet I want my life back. My goodness. What must you think of all this?
I have tried writing all this to a friend. I could write forever, all about the small things which affect the day, all the seemingly normal, everyday events which go wrong ...but it doesn't sound right written down. How can you exolain all the tiny variations and subleties? There is only my husband, and my children who truly know .... I have tried to tell others, but their eyes glaze over if you start telling them the truth ...it makes me feel as though I'm exaggerating! So I keep quiet.
Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. One thing is for sure. I wouldn't consider Aricept beimg discontinued without a very good reason. I see that this could be very risky. THANKS FOR LISTENING.
I have been interested in Kathleen's thread re coming off the anti-dementia drugs and this is one of the resons I need to discuss things with whoever is looking after my Mum. She has almost constant headache which she puts down to the head cold -but I can't work out any longer what may, or may not be real. If this is caused by Aricept, what does one do? Let her feel constantly under the weather, or forget the Aricept and allow a further decline to take hold. I am bemused, muddled and frightened -all this responsibility. I just need the Dr to listen, and discuss this... As it is, Mum is now in the throes of a headache most days, and especially on days I have organised a carer, or she goes to her 'Group'. She sometimes get up first thing with a slight headache. This we believe can progress on to a migraine, depending on what she is faced with ....And yet this evening, she is complaing of having this headcold -though she has no reason to feel threatened tonight. Her new GP has prescribed a short trial of migraine treatment, despite my attempting to bring him up to speed about what I thought may be going on with Mum, but these tablets have quite complicated dosing instructions. So I must decide if she is playing up, has a headache, has a migraine ...and it's IMPOSSIBLE.
It has been awful of late. Mum has been snapping at me. I know she can't manage without me, but she thinks she can and snaps when I fuss, and put everything in place for her. I now live Mum's life for her -mine has disappeared somewhere and I don't know when I shall get it back. Not that I want to lose her, because then it would be just as bad -I can't imagine her not being there anymore -yet I want my life back. My goodness. What must you think of all this?
I have tried writing all this to a friend. I could write forever, all about the small things which affect the day, all the seemingly normal, everyday events which go wrong ...but it doesn't sound right written down. How can you exolain all the tiny variations and subleties? There is only my husband, and my children who truly know .... I have tried to tell others, but their eyes glaze over if you start telling them the truth ...it makes me feel as though I'm exaggerating! So I keep quiet.
Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. One thing is for sure. I wouldn't consider Aricept beimg discontinued without a very good reason. I see that this could be very risky. THANKS FOR LISTENING.
Dear Lulu, we used to get that with my Mum too. Now we get it with Mum in law. As soon as you sort out one problem, bowels, ears, eyes, aches etc, then she develops another that needs urgent intervention. Perhaps its the medication, perhaps its the drugs, perhaps it really does need attention, who can say, so round and round you go. You are right in saying your own life is on hold, but you must try to get some time to switch off to help you from collapsing under the pressure of it all. Even if its just sitting in the bath with a magazine and a glass of wine or some choccies. You can share it here on TP too, at least you know that we understand. Love She. XX
Thank you Sheila. Sometimes it gets a bit much, you know.
I listened to You & Yours this am. What I can't understand is how some people with dementia seem able to discuss their illness, and have great insight into what is happening to them. My Mum wouldn't be able to do this as she isn't aware that there is anything amiss.
I listened to You & Yours this am. What I can't understand is how some people with dementia seem able to discuss their illness, and have great insight into what is happening to them. My Mum wouldn't be able to do this as she isn't aware that there is anything amiss.
Lulu we have been discussing this inability of some of our loved ones to not understand on the Younger People with Dementia section at http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=2387
We haven't really got any answers but it might help to read about others feeling frustrated about this.
We haven't really got any answers but it might help to read about others feeling frustrated about this.
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We saw Mum's GP today as her repeat prescription needed to be reviewed. He'd had a letter from the Memory Clinic, and our appointment went well. I was able to ask all my questions, and received answers.
Mum is now classed as in moderate stage (which I'd gathered, but nobody would confirm to me), and that it is thought to be alzheimer's, not from strokes. Because the headaches continue, and she has felt almost constantly under the weather with the head cold symptoms, he wants to try her without Aricept for 2 weeks. I have agreed to this, though naturally I'm worried. He said 2 weeks would not cause any significant decline, but that it would be long enough to know for sure whether the drug was causing side-effects But at least he listened well, and is trying to help.
He was also sympathetic to the idea of a Day Centre, although it would be just one for the elderly at the moment, and although I know this is going to help, I now feel very guilty at the mere thought of doing this. I know it's for her good, but then I think well Dad wouldn't have sent her off like that ....I have to follow this through though, because already I feel tired from the burden (how I admire others coping with far worse).
So there we are. Ever onwards!
Mum is now classed as in moderate stage (which I'd gathered, but nobody would confirm to me), and that it is thought to be alzheimer's, not from strokes. Because the headaches continue, and she has felt almost constantly under the weather with the head cold symptoms, he wants to try her without Aricept for 2 weeks. I have agreed to this, though naturally I'm worried. He said 2 weeks would not cause any significant decline, but that it would be long enough to know for sure whether the drug was causing side-effects But at least he listened well, and is trying to help.
He was also sympathetic to the idea of a Day Centre, although it would be just one for the elderly at the moment, and although I know this is going to help, I now feel very guilty at the mere thought of doing this. I know it's for her good, but then I think well Dad wouldn't have sent her off like that ....I have to follow this through though, because already I feel tired from the burden (how I admire others coping with far worse).
So there we are. Ever onwards!
Hi Lulu,
Glad you had a fairly positive GP visit. I guess it's a question of keeping a close eye on your Mum's behaviour for these 2 weeks. Was there any talk of trying something else if the Aricept does prove to be the culprit of your Mum's headaches etc?
Regarding the Day Centre, I can understand how you might think that your Dad would not have "sent her off like that", but given the changing circumstances it's very hard to be sure. He may have come to the conclusion that he needed a break from constant caring and accepted it. I didn't think that my Mum would ever let Dad go to Day Care - and then into a Home but she did, (after much soul searching). I would try not to think of it in terms of 'sending her off'. It could just become part of your Mum's weekly routine that she may even enjoy (like her shower!). And your daughters will be able to take those long-awaited shopping trips with you!
Best wishes,
Glad you had a fairly positive GP visit. I guess it's a question of keeping a close eye on your Mum's behaviour for these 2 weeks. Was there any talk of trying something else if the Aricept does prove to be the culprit of your Mum's headaches etc?
Regarding the Day Centre, I can understand how you might think that your Dad would not have "sent her off like that", but given the changing circumstances it's very hard to be sure. He may have come to the conclusion that he needed a break from constant caring and accepted it. I didn't think that my Mum would ever let Dad go to Day Care - and then into a Home but she did, (after much soul searching). I would try not to think of it in terms of 'sending her off'. It could just become part of your Mum's weekly routine that she may even enjoy (like her shower!). And your daughters will be able to take those long-awaited shopping trips with you!
Best wishes,
Hazel. Thanks. Have just read your message about the tea and cake! It has been a lovely day today.
Yes, The Gp did say that if it were found to be a side-effect, then at least we would know. That there were other drugs, of which Aricept was the best. I will keep a close eye on what happens in the next 2 weeks, without prompting her, and in the second week (should she be OK), I shall put her under a little pressure. Suggest doing such a thing, or going somewhere; things that would normally bring on a headache.
The Day Centre idea is a good one, for her sake, and I realise that this is what she needs. I felt awful when she started to go to her Thursday Group, but now it's routine and she enjoys it. Just takes some getting used to as each change takes place.
You know what. I would have liked to have joined you for a cup of tea and a piece of cake. Lulu
Yes, The Gp did say that if it were found to be a side-effect, then at least we would know. That there were other drugs, of which Aricept was the best. I will keep a close eye on what happens in the next 2 weeks, without prompting her, and in the second week (should she be OK), I shall put her under a little pressure. Suggest doing such a thing, or going somewhere; things that would normally bring on a headache.
The Day Centre idea is a good one, for her sake, and I realise that this is what she needs. I felt awful when she started to go to her Thursday Group, but now it's routine and she enjoys it. Just takes some getting used to as each change takes place.
You know what. I would have liked to have joined you for a cup of tea and a piece of cake. Lulu
Can't believe all this time has passed! We are back to the Memory Clinic again in a few weeks, never getting a response from both letters 6 months ago! We are now DETERMINED -I am toughening up by the day! Day care is almost sorted out, but as fast as I am now putting these things in place, Mum's not wanting to play ball, and arrangements fall through.
Kee[ your fingers crossed for me at the clinic.
Kee[ your fingers crossed for me at the clinic.
I am new to this site
Rosalind
Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Wiltshire
Posts: 80
Doesn't it drive you crazy? Because we know the NHS is pushed to the limits we go along with lousy service, but after all THEY are working for, and paid by, US.
I am wondering what Rosalind means by paid by ,US ?
Rosalind
Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Wiltshire
Posts: 80
Doesn't it drive you crazy? Because we know the NHS is pushed to the limits we go along with lousy service, but after all THEY are working for, and paid by, US.
I am wondering what Rosalind means by paid by ,US ?
Just waved Mum off, big smile on her face because that is how she is, but very worried. I know why she's going, but it felt awful. I had to write a note to go with her as she was complaining of feeling unwell, which was reminiscent of writing to the teacher, 'can you excuse my child from PE because ...'
Mum is 73, and diagnosed in 2004 following the death of my Dad. Symptoms had been there for some years prior to that, though nobody realised the extent.
Take care everyone.
Mum is 73, and diagnosed in 2004 following the death of my Dad. Symptoms had been there for some years prior to that, though nobody realised the extent.
Take care everyone.
Lulu, 3:20 pm now, your 'girl' will be coming back home soon.
Just a line to say I hope she had a good day, and that you may be able to relax a little the next time.
Best wishes
Just a line to say I hope she had a good day, and that you may be able to relax a little the next time.
Best wishes
Hope it continues to go well. Just getting her to go, without resisting, at least gives you a bit of a break, as well as being good for her. Fingers crossed!My mother has her first memory clinic appointment on the 13th March and is told to bring a friend or relative, (what happens to those who haven't got anyone available?)
Whether we'll go depends mainly on whether she'll allow me to stay in her house for more than one night! (I don't want to get thrown out in the street.)
Lila
Whether we'll go depends mainly on whether she'll allow me to stay in her house for more than one night! (I don't want to get thrown out in the street.)
Lila
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