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Memory clinic appointment

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Jessie107, Apr 3, 2017.

  1. Jessie107

    Jessie107 Registered User

    Aug 11, 2016
    My Mother has been diagnosed with alzhiemers and has a appointment with the memory clinic tomorrow to discuss medication. The trouble is she is refusing to go and doesn't want any medication.
    We think she needs it as her behaviour is quite verbally aggressive, not sleeping much, agitated and with little patience.
    My question is, what to do now?
    I know she will decline quickly with no medication, should I ring cpn?
    I don't know what to do next.
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    Won't do any harm to get advice from the CPN. I wouldn't discuss it with your mother but just take her out tomorrow for a coffee and by the way we have to call in here for a minute to let the doctor see that you are fine.
  3. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    My wife didn't like going to the memory clinic, as it was in the same building as the secure unit where her mum's partner spend time in, after being sectioned due to vascular dementia.

    I did not tell her about appointments until we arrived there and said we just needed to pop in to get her BP and weight etc checked.

    Best wishes
  4. Beachgirl

    Beachgirl Registered User

    Mar 19, 2017
    My Mum never liked going to the Memory Clinic and if she knew a medical appointment was for that she'd refuse to go. So I'd just tell her she was going for some sort of routine check up instead and she seemed to accept that without any problem.
  5. Rosnpton

    Rosnpton Registered User

    Mar 19, 2017
    My mum has been under local memory clinic for about 3 years. When she was at home, they did an outreach follow up once a year so if she didn't get to the hospital they would try and get to the home for a follow up.
    She moved into a ch last April- when we had to take her in May it was horrendous. She wouldn't try to walk with her frame,was shouting etc. It took 3 adults to move one little old lady into the car just to get there! Once there (the ch rung ahead and warned them for us as to her state of mind) they took her into a break room,gave her tea and biscuits and did her 'check' while she thought she was just having a cuppa with them. We then had to get her back to ch. the appointment is coming around rapidly,and we are dreading trying to get her there.
    Good luck

  6. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    It probably varies depending on where you live but here when this happens they send people out to see you at home in this situation.
    My wife hated the memory clinic appointments so I'd plan to go somewhere she liked straight after and focus on that but we "just had to pop in the clinic on the way there".
    So we'd go to feed the ducks, have a meal, visit friends but on the way stop in at the clinic to get her medication checked on the way, the point of going out was the treat afterwards not going to the clinic.
  7. Shiraz1

    Shiraz1 Registered User

    Mar 16, 2017
    Hi there, it's just so awful keep in there, I've just made sure my dads in bed so I can down some wine!!

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  8. The Likely Lass

    The Likely Lass Registered User

    Mar 27, 2017
    My undiagnosed Mother in Law had a fall in February. While in Hospital I spoke to the Staff Nurse about our concerns over her Mental Health and he said he would put a referral to the Memory Clinic in her notes. That was last Month and already we have an appointment this month. As the clinic is in the Hospital grounds we are just going to tell my MIL that she is going for a chat about the Care she has received about her hip (she has an outpatients appt for her hip this week so we can't use that excuse to get her there) She has no idea we have spoken to the memory clinic as the appt was sent to our House and we are hoping she will stay for her appointment and not leave, or turn on us for taking her there. I really don't know what to say jessie107 as your Mother is aware of the appointment already. Is it possible to ask your Mother to 'Humour' you and attend the appointment to prove to the Doctor that she doesn't have a memory problem or need medication? If your Mother absolutely refuses to go I wonder if somebody can come to the House? Sorry not much help as we are new to this ourselves and just trying our best in the early stages of no diagnosis
  9. Jessie107

    Jessie107 Registered User

    Aug 11, 2016
    Thanks for all your replies.
    Unfortunately every effort I made has had no effect on persuading her to go, all it's done is given her something to shout, scream and swear about. She was even shouting in the street yesterday about it while my sister took her for a walk.
    So I have cancelled the appointment and asked for someone to ring me back.
    I am hoping to get the medication dispensed in her blister pack without her knowing, we have health and welfare power of attorney.
    Apparently, they can't give this medication until the pwd agrees to it, but my argument is that she lacks capacity to know that she needs and will benefit from taking it. After all isn't this why we have Power of attorney?
    We are looking after her at home 24/7 and she is very difficult to deal with.
  10. Margi29

    Margi29 Registered User

    Oct 31, 2016
    Hi Jessie

    I'm not sure if the memory clinic will do this in your area ?? But my mum refused point blank to go back to memory clinic and see ' that man ' she didn't like him, although I suspect she didn't like him telling her she had mixed dementia :eek:
    Totally refused to believe what he said and we don't remind her at all.

    But after a few months memory clinic wanted to do a review, they actually came to mums flat and did it. Mum was far more relaxed and the man who came did the test in a very easy caring way. Mum had scored 23 on first test when they came to flat she scored 21.

    It may be worth it just to enquire about possibility???

    Best wishes

    Ps they did try mum with mematine, this made mum worse.
  11. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    My mum has an appointment with the memory clinic this month. She decided she didn't want to go to the appointment a few months ago and nothing would persuade her otherwise as she has swollen legs and will not go outside. We had an awful job of getting her to the bank a few weeks ago - I didn't know that some of them will come to the house as that would make life so much easier.
    Apparently they will be making a firm diagnosis at this appointment but she has got worse since when she was first seen, all they have commented on is that she has cognitive impairment!
  12. Shiraz1

    Shiraz1 Registered User

    Mar 16, 2017
    Hi there, on a different note..I sold my house to live with my dad, had a small annex built. Had a mate round, introduced him to my dad saying.. 'Remember who this is?' Next day his cutlery had gone missing along with his magnifying glass oven gloves you name it! So I can't have mates round unless we sneak in while he's asleep. All we do is talk about this awful disease but also try to have a laugh. My dad just wants just me at home......no intruders.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  13. Shiraz1

    Shiraz1 Registered User

    Mar 16, 2017
    I meant that was what what my dad thought had gone missing...I found all items!

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  14. Mimi5

    Mimi5 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2017
    In my experience with MIL "less is definitely more".

    I keep her appointments in my diary and only tell her just before we go. Simple explanation no fuss, distraction if needed and simple language, like j"ust a quick blood pressure check at the G.P's and then we'll go to tesco".

    More time to worry or more language to think over, just causes anxiety and stress.;)

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