Memories That Are Harder To Get Over

[MaNaAk]

Good evening everyone.

More than two years after dear dad's death I am feeling a lot better but there are still more difficult memories to deal with and that concerns a couple of times when dad thought it was funny to turn our beloved tortoises on their backs. This of course was this cruel disease as he loved the tortoises and looked after them but it's taken me a long time to get over it. One thing that brought it all back was a friend asking what I fed the tortoises and when I mentioned that part of their diet included strawberries he asked if I gave them ice-cream. I didn't tell him about dad turning the tortoises on their backs but I think I came over as snappy. I haven't wanted to talk about this memory as it is rather horrible and dad laughed like an overgrown child.

MaNaAk

 

[Jessy82]

Mum is still with us, but I never forget 2 years ago when her beloved dog was very ill, I used to give the dog medication ( she also had dementia and arthritis ) we had many many vets appointments, all the vets wanted to put the dog to sleep, but mum refused. I know if mum was in her right mind she would agree. The poor dog was skin and bone, and mum would literally drag her round the street on a lead on her wanderings, she would do this 5 times a day till we hid the collar and lead.

One day when we had a vets appointment she picked the dog up and run off up the street, the dog under her arm, legs dangling, I never forget the sight, s he told neighbours I was trying to kill her dog. Such a terrible memory. In the end I asked the vet to come to the house and put her to sleep, mum was fine about at the time, most probably on one of her good days. But for weeks after she blamed me, said I'd killed her dog, I lved the dog just as much as her, she was 17 and I'd cared for her the las 2 years of her life as mum couldn't.

Months after mum was still roaming the streets looking for the dog, getting neighbours and strangers involved, I would often find them in the house looking for the dog. I did by her a cuddly dog afterwards which seemed to do the trick. But I still have terrible memories from that time and how that poor dog suffered, even though mum loved it to bits.

 

[MaNaAk]

Mum is still with us, but I never forget 2 years ago when her beloved dog was very ill, I used to give the dog medication ( she also had dementia and arthritis ) we had many many vets appointments, all the vets wanted to put the dog to sleep, but mum refused. I know if mum was in her right mind she would agree. The poor dog was skin and bone, and mum would literally drag her round the street on a lead on her wanderings, she would do this 5 times a day till we hid the collar and lead.

One day when we had a vets appointment she picked the dog up and run off up the street, the dog under her arm, legs dangling, I never forget the sight, s he told neighbours I was trying to kill her dog. Such a terrible memory. In the end I asked the vet to come to the house and put her to sleep, mum was fine about at the time, most probably on one of her good days. But for weeks after she blamed me, said I'd killed her dog, I lved the dog just as much as her, she was 17 and I'd cared for her the las 2 years of her life as mum couldn't.

Months after mum was still roaming the streets looking for the dog, getting neighbours and strangers involved, I would often find them in the house looking for the dog. I did by her a cuddly dog afterwards which seemed to do the trick. But I still have terrible memories from that time and how that poor dog suffered, even though mum loved it to bits.

Dear @Jessy82 ,

That's a horrible memory but like the one I've just shared it's really only people on this forum that will understand because we have to try and care for pets as well.

MaNaAk

 

[Helly68]

This strikes a chord with me. My father spent all his life looking after animals, and now at the beginning of memory problems, he can see that he is losing the ability to cope with them. Very hard. We are trying rehoming, but as he has reptiles and amphibians, and tortoises, that isn't easy.
So hard, when he, who was the expert, tells me things I know cannot be true.....

 

[MaNaAk]

This strikes a chord with me. My father spent all his life looking after animals, and now at the beginning of memory problems, he can see that he is losing the ability to cope with them. Very hard. We are trying rehoming, but as he has reptiles and amphibians, and tortoises, that isn't easy.
So hard, when he, who was the expert, tells me things I know cannot be true.....

There is an organisation called Tortoise Trust which is now mainly online. It would be nice if you knew of any friends who could take them in. I, of course, found it simpler not to rely on invisibles.

MaNaAk

 

[Helly68]

@MaNaAk - we are trying Tortoise Protection Group - but |I emailed ages ago with details of the tortoises, no joy yet. I am trying to think of other options as caring for him and the animals is going to be a big task

 

[MaNaAk]

@MaNaAk - we are trying Tortoise Protection Group - but |I emailed ages ago with details of the tortoises, no joy yet. I am trying to think of other options as caring for him and the animals is going to be a big task

Have you got a Pets At Home near you as they seem to have been a big help to me?

MaNaAk

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I wish I had a suitable garden and accommodation for tortoises but unfortunately I don't. I really like them. Not sure if they'd get on with my cats though!

It used to make me really sad when mum was being mean. Sometimes she'd have a real go at someone for no reason whatsoever. Really vitriolic stuff and she clearly relished doing it. I was ashamed. She was like a real-life internet troll of the worst kind.

 

[Helly68]

Have you got a Pets At Home near you as they seem to have been a big help to me?

MaNaAk

@MaNaAk - that is a good idea. I will go and see what they can do.

 

[MaNaAk]

Good luck @Helly68 and @Jaded'n'faded the tortoises get on well with cats and like your mum dad's behaviour grew more stressful.

MaNaAk