AFRAID I JUST WENT INTO TOTAL MELT DOWN LAST SUNDAY no one reason, just a build up of little things really! And final realisation of the enormity of the challenge I and My daughter face,she as my carer. It's now two yrs since first trip to Memory clinic, I was asked if I wanted to know the results of forthcoming tests I said yes and would still say yes! The result was not a surprise and I and Joy just threw ourselves into putting in place what needed doing for when I had gone,to make it as easy for family as possible. After that medication took priority,and now a yr on from first dose things have settled down,Christmas over and finally time to think! I usually do take time,but two yrs to actually take stock is maybe a bit too long. Logically my melt down yesterday was way over due and needed to happen,it started by turning my radio up very loud,I suppose to try and stop what was about to happen,stop all the stupid thoughts racing through my head, in a way it worked! Then with Terry Wogan wittering in the back ground,well foreground really, the tears came and just could not stop, poor Joy came down to a sodden heap, me, but as always she stayed calm and just let me carry on,and that was the right thing to do. I don't believe it will happen again, but was inevitable really. Joy and I have since agreed to change a couple of things,for both of us really,nothing major just adjustments to daily life. Neither of us think we should change our approach to tackling the Alzheimer's we have proved the last few months of acceptance and just avoiding stress as much as possible. Personally I don't believe you can fight it, but you can make it easier on yourself by accepting and adapting. I no longer panic when when something as familiar as a pen seems so unfamiliar and almost alien,I know it probably won't happen again for a while and if it does,"shrugs shoulders" not worth getting stressed about, and no doubt there will be other more important things that will be forgotten in the future! For now there is a life or lives to live, mine and Joys we are agreed to get out more as spring gets closer, "never have been good in winter" So many outings to look forward to,things to plant pots to empty, when bulbs finish,some will remain empty but not all! I read of a daughter and her mum with Alzheimer's who enjoy watching the birds together, Joy and I have been doing that for a good few yrs now and this yr looks as if it will perhaps be even more special as a couple of Blue tits look as if they may be nesting,in view of my bedroom window, and quite possibly another pair may be also nesting just around the corner near Joys back door! The fact the Blue tits are nesting in the sparrows terrace box of three individual nests I think in the middle one! Tough sparrows you've had three yrs and ignored it, so too late now squatters have moved in.