Foreword
2:45 in the morning. A lightbulb moment. I am catapulted from sleep to wide awake. It is permitted to write about meditation on TP provided I write about my personal experiences of it, provided it pertains to dementia, and provided it is in the Resource section. A-ha! I am on Day 1 of the Deepak Chopra Healing Meditation Adventure and I am already thinking outside the box!
Why Meditation? The Tool to learn inner peace and freedom
"Establishing a regular meditation practice will help you reap countless physical and emotional rewards, including reduced stress, improved sleep, greater focus and creativity, and an overall sense of peace and wellbeing. Over time, you'll also begin to gain a better understanding of your own identity as you deepen your connection with your body, mind, and spirit.
Meditation is a natural process, and we want to assure you that every person can meditate. Setting aside as little as 15 minutes a day to retreat and rejuvenate is beneficial. Please relinquish any fears, worries, or doubts you may have about meditation—remain open to the experience without judgment. "
Why a 'Carer in Extremis'? The Rationale behind this personal experiment
I am a 'carer in extremis' because suddenly the odds have shifted yet again. Alzheimers has gained a whole lot of ground, and I, the carer, have lost ground, I'm floundering in this new space that experts refer to as advanced dementia. Kind, unflappable Richard informed me that this stage of dementia is the toughest one. Mum is in the twilight zone: she is talking ok, but only fragments of what she says make sense to me, though her thoughts/actions seem to make perfect sense to her. I, the carer, am having to tune in and try to understand what a brain that is riddled with Alzheimer plaques and a black hole where the hippocampus used to be (I saw the MRI scan) is trying to communicate.
I am 'in extremis' also because I find my personal pain in walking this stretch of the Alzheimer Route is acute, therefore affecting my ability as carer to cushion, console, support, be loving, in short be the kind of companion to Mum that is worthy of her. Worse still is the knowledge that if the roles were reversed, Mum would be compassion itself towards me. I hope my encounters with Meditation will enlighten/shed some light on that space within where my Compassion is stored. I need it fast, to oil the wheels and nourish the carer.
Meditation as self-care. I am not a victim of Alzheimers. No, I chose to accompany Mum on the Alzheimer Walk, we are in this together. I want to walk this Route with my eyes wide open, using it as a learning experience, learning to become a better person, pushing my personal boundaries further, and further still.
I could cushion my emotional responses through medications such as anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants, but I choose not to. Just as I choose not to dull my senses with alcohol, sex and other distractors. Admission: I do use food as a buffer, but hope to drop the food-for-comfort addiction through this Meditation Experiment .
I have hope and trust in this Eastern Philosophy. Why? I used to suffer (really suffer) from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Conventional health care prescribed seratonin-enhancing (SSRI) anti-depressants. My PTSD-induced depression lifted, but the PTSD remained. A magical freak intervention of the Universe introduced me to Yoga Nidra, which I have been practicing for a year now. Initially I did Yoga Nidra more to placate my yogi guru than for myself, after all I was a non-believer. Despite my total scepticism, miracles began to happen: improved sleep, big drop off in anxiety, calm, feeling previously unavailable parts of my brain were coming 'on line', resiliance, and silently whittling away at PTSD which has evaporated, gone.
Now, with Mum dissolving as a person, the stakes are high, and I want to be there for her, and yet survive to tell the tale. So now is the time for me to give the ancient, time-tested Meditation a test drive.
Footnote
As a Dementia Carer, I am not alone. When I first joined TP, I had this image of myself as walking the Alzheimer Route with One Other, namely Mum. I now know this to be a fallacy. I walk the Alzheimer Route with countless Others. Here on TP you have reached out to me again and again, lifted my spirit, mended my heart and touched my soul. When my brother had an aneurysm on Jan 5th, over 3000 TP users reached out to carry me through another horrific blow - and the catharsis in this sharing reached a place within me that nothing and no one before has ever reached. So, once more, I want to share my personal chapter of self-care through Meditation as we traverse individually/as a group the steep inclines and slippery slopes of the Dementia Mountain Range.
While this thread is my Meditation Experiment, I want to share it with you. On the dementia level, we are all connected. So, if you have a thought, insight or something to share, please feel free to connect with me, i.e. post here.
2:45 in the morning. A lightbulb moment. I am catapulted from sleep to wide awake. It is permitted to write about meditation on TP provided I write about my personal experiences of it, provided it pertains to dementia, and provided it is in the Resource section. A-ha! I am on Day 1 of the Deepak Chopra Healing Meditation Adventure and I am already thinking outside the box!
Why Meditation? The Tool to learn inner peace and freedom
"Establishing a regular meditation practice will help you reap countless physical and emotional rewards, including reduced stress, improved sleep, greater focus and creativity, and an overall sense of peace and wellbeing. Over time, you'll also begin to gain a better understanding of your own identity as you deepen your connection with your body, mind, and spirit.
Meditation is a natural process, and we want to assure you that every person can meditate. Setting aside as little as 15 minutes a day to retreat and rejuvenate is beneficial. Please relinquish any fears, worries, or doubts you may have about meditation—remain open to the experience without judgment. "
Why a 'Carer in Extremis'? The Rationale behind this personal experiment
I am a 'carer in extremis' because suddenly the odds have shifted yet again. Alzheimers has gained a whole lot of ground, and I, the carer, have lost ground, I'm floundering in this new space that experts refer to as advanced dementia. Kind, unflappable Richard informed me that this stage of dementia is the toughest one. Mum is in the twilight zone: she is talking ok, but only fragments of what she says make sense to me, though her thoughts/actions seem to make perfect sense to her. I, the carer, am having to tune in and try to understand what a brain that is riddled with Alzheimer plaques and a black hole where the hippocampus used to be (I saw the MRI scan) is trying to communicate.
I am 'in extremis' also because I find my personal pain in walking this stretch of the Alzheimer Route is acute, therefore affecting my ability as carer to cushion, console, support, be loving, in short be the kind of companion to Mum that is worthy of her. Worse still is the knowledge that if the roles were reversed, Mum would be compassion itself towards me. I hope my encounters with Meditation will enlighten/shed some light on that space within where my Compassion is stored. I need it fast, to oil the wheels and nourish the carer.
Meditation as self-care. I am not a victim of Alzheimers. No, I chose to accompany Mum on the Alzheimer Walk, we are in this together. I want to walk this Route with my eyes wide open, using it as a learning experience, learning to become a better person, pushing my personal boundaries further, and further still.
I could cushion my emotional responses through medications such as anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants, but I choose not to. Just as I choose not to dull my senses with alcohol, sex and other distractors. Admission: I do use food as a buffer, but hope to drop the food-for-comfort addiction through this Meditation Experiment .
I have hope and trust in this Eastern Philosophy. Why? I used to suffer (really suffer) from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Conventional health care prescribed seratonin-enhancing (SSRI) anti-depressants. My PTSD-induced depression lifted, but the PTSD remained. A magical freak intervention of the Universe introduced me to Yoga Nidra, which I have been practicing for a year now. Initially I did Yoga Nidra more to placate my yogi guru than for myself, after all I was a non-believer. Despite my total scepticism, miracles began to happen: improved sleep, big drop off in anxiety, calm, feeling previously unavailable parts of my brain were coming 'on line', resiliance, and silently whittling away at PTSD which has evaporated, gone.
Now, with Mum dissolving as a person, the stakes are high, and I want to be there for her, and yet survive to tell the tale. So now is the time for me to give the ancient, time-tested Meditation a test drive.
Footnote
As a Dementia Carer, I am not alone. When I first joined TP, I had this image of myself as walking the Alzheimer Route with One Other, namely Mum. I now know this to be a fallacy. I walk the Alzheimer Route with countless Others. Here on TP you have reached out to me again and again, lifted my spirit, mended my heart and touched my soul. When my brother had an aneurysm on Jan 5th, over 3000 TP users reached out to carry me through another horrific blow - and the catharsis in this sharing reached a place within me that nothing and no one before has ever reached. So, once more, I want to share my personal chapter of self-care through Meditation as we traverse individually/as a group the steep inclines and slippery slopes of the Dementia Mountain Range.
While this thread is my Meditation Experiment, I want to share it with you. On the dementia level, we are all connected. So, if you have a thought, insight or something to share, please feel free to connect with me, i.e. post here.