Medication Dilemma

[littlelins]

I have a dilemma over what to do with my dad with regards to Alzheimer’s medication and would really appreciate other’s thoughts.

Even whilst in good mental health, my dad always had a lax attitude towards his health – the last time he voluntarily went to see the doctor was for a 50 year check up – he’s 70 now! He will let things get very bad and still not call for help – for example, he has ended up in hospital twice in recent years only because of my insistence he get help – once with a seriously infected wound which required intravenous antibiotics and once with pneumonia. Recently he has had an infected ulcer on his ankle which I only discovered by chance when he winced and I remembered to mention it to the GP at the last visit.

Anyway, this week I have had a call from his consultant following a recent home visit to my dad. He has now decided that my dad has mixed dementia – Vascular & Alzheimer’s. In light of this, he said he could prescribe medication, but that when he asked my dad during his visit, he’d declined this option. He asked me if I could have a word with my dad myself to see if he would agree to medication.

Now the reality is that if I can get my dad prescribed medication, he would unquestioningly take those tablets with the tablets he currently takes – he has no idea what medication he currently takes (vitamins & cholesterol tablets) and just compliantly takes whatever the carers tell him to take. However knowing my dad’s lax attitude to his health even when he was well, am I wrong to basically con him into taking medication??

I did ask him yesterday what he thought about taking tablets, but couldn’t get a sensible answer out of him – because he’s still a joker! And in complete denial there is anything wrong with him...Also his attention span was particularly poor and it was in one ear and straight out the other, so even if I constructed a convincing argument, he’d forgotten a minute later.

I am not expecting a miracle with medication, but if it can slow the progress, great. However, I keep wondering if I want that only for my own benefit – I wonder if I am being selfish...

Final point, I don’t know which of the medications the consultant is planning on prescribing if dad agrees except it is one for Alzheimer’s.

So do I gently coerce him into accepting medication (which I can easily do) or do I leave him be knowing he was never proactive about him health anyway?

PS. Sorry for such a long post!

 

[connie]

Yes it is a dilemma, but one that only you can answer.

If the doctor says he has to take the medication, and he does, then that leaves you out of the equation.

If you are trying to second guess what his wishes would really be - well that is a different matter.

Only you know your dad.

No help from me, just wanted to let you know that I understand how you must be feeling. Take care now.

 

[Skye]

Hi Littlelins

I agree with Connie, only you can decide.

Setting aside his cavalier attitude to his health, would your dad want to live longer, or does he feel that he's had a good life, and he wouldn't want to prolong it?

The nearest I've come to having to make that decision was when my mum had a stroke, and refused to eat. They wanted to fit a PEG, because she kept pulling out her nasal tube.

It was an awful decision to make, but I knew my mum would have hated to be completely dependent, and she was deliberately refusing to eat. I said no, and I have to live with that decision. But I know in my heart it is what mum wanted.

It's not quite as cut and dried for your dad. There is no guarantee that the meds would agree with him, or that they would be effective.These drugs don't work for everyone.

But you have to make that decision, based on what you think your dad would want if he could make a rational decision himself. It also has to be a decision you will be able to live with.

All the best, and let us know what you decide.

Love,

 

[myheadisinaspin]

my mum has just stopped aricept (second attempt at trying) and now refuses to take any other medication thats to do with alzheimers, i think its harder for loved ones to accept this as we want them to live long and for ever dont we. Although WE COULD MAKE THE DECISION FOR HER ( WE HAVE poa OF HER HEALTH)we decided not to persue it, something that was making her mentally well was making her physically ill ( very poorly indeed)and we have had to respect mums wishes, i'm glad it has happened now while mum is still just capable of making that decision,and we have that decision at present taken away from us.
some medications although wonderful for some are in fact not, if you were to post how many have tryed and had to come off i'm sure there are as many miracle cases.
what i was going to say is our consultant prescribed from the hospital for three months and they were separate from mums dosat box (carers give) and we had to seek med permission to let carers take this med and give mum separate, ( apparently they wont put in the box until its prescribed by gp.

 

[Helen33]

Hello Littlelins

I think there is a really pressing need that is requiring an immediate decision and that is the ulcer. This is not going to clear itself up and your dad need to be referred immediately to a leg ulcer clinic. I think with regard to the ulcer you need to override your dad because it can only be in his best interest to get it treated as quickly as possible.

With regard to the other medication, I think the thing that you need to take into account when making your decision is that if the medication doesn't suit your dad he will need to be re-assessed and may end up needing to see a GP more often!!

I am sorry that I can't be more help Littlelins but I do wish you well in dealing with these matters.

Love

 

[littlelins]

Thanks

Thank you for your responses. I have really appreciated the responses & thoughts of people who also deal with dementia.

Having spent a week 'sleeping on it' & talking to my friends & partner, I have decided my dad still has the right to choose what he wants in this respect and he doesn't want doctor visits, medication, etc and there is little to gain from me pushing him into taking medication. It is not what he would've wanted however much I disagree with his attitude to his health!

So far as his ulcer goes, Helen, since the GP visit he does get twice weekly visits from the district nurse to re-dress the ulcer, so that is being taken care of now.

I would like to protect my dad like I would protect my children through all of this, but I have to remember that although he has dementia, he is still a person and it is not for me to wrap him in cotton wool...Tough though!

Thanks all,

Lindsay

 

[connie]

Dear Lindsay,

but I have to remember that although he has dementia, he is still a person

Hard as it may be for you to do, with those words you have shown how much you love your dad and how much respect you have for his dignity.

Thank you for bring us up to date. Stay strong. Love n'hugs

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello:

I appreciate your dilemna and the respect for your Dad's wishes to be taken into account. I do feel that it is worth discussing with him that any Alz. medication is not designed to prolong his life (it isn't). It is more to help his quality of life - to help him retain his memory for longer!!!

This may let your Dad think of it in a different light. It worked for my husband.

Best wishes Jan

 

[connie]

I do feel that it is worth discussing with him that any Alz. medication is not designed to prolong his life (it isn't). It is more to help his quality of life - to help him retain his memory for longer!!!

Jan, thank you for pointing that out. Whilst it may/may not be pertinent in Lindsay's case, it is always worth remembering. Love n'hugs