Me again, struggling, its sunday!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by muriel.elliott, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. muriel.elliott

    muriel.elliott Registered User

    Aug 21, 2010
    504
    Berkshire
    Hi all,
    Why do i always feel so bad on a sunday. I know why - Bryan passed away on the early hours of monday morning and i was not with him until the end. Having been there most of sunday and persuaded to come home for something to eat and a rest.
    Today Debbie came over and we went to the local park for a walk round the lake and fields, also fed the ducks. We used to take Bryan there and she would rather do that than go to visit his grave. She did not want to go to see his headstone, said she would rather go on her own one day! In a way i can understand that as i wanted to go on my own for the first time. Maxine has not been over as she is full of cold yet again and really not well.
    After Debbie left i went up to say hello to Bryan and refilled the bird feeder. I am so pleased i thought of the idea of putting one there the birds are always there. As sson as i get into the car i can see they come again and start feeding. Bryan has his wish. Feeding the birds and a robin and fuschia on his headstone. I do so hope he is looking down and approves.
    Love and hugs Muriel xxx:confused:
     
  2. Roma

    Roma Registered User

    Jan 15, 2008
    122
    UK
    Hi Muriel

    I know how you feel to some extent. I wasn't there in the final hours of my mum passing. I was there for 24 hours the previous day and went home for some sleep and she died at 11.30 that evening. Something I'll always regret. It'll be 2 years next Monday since she died and the events leading up to that are still as clear as though it were yesterday.

    But no amount of regret can change things and I know that deep down my mum and your Bryan would hate for us to feel this way.

    I love the idea of a bird feeder. I'm sure Bryan would approve wholeheartedly. My mum loved birds too and I've got bird feeders next to a bush that I planted in my garden in rememberance of her and my dad. It's a pierus (probably spelt that wrong - it's the bush that goes a lovely red in the Spring).

    Take care Muriel.

    Love Roma xx
     
  3. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Morning Muriel,

    Sundays were dreadful for me too. I hope that today is a little easier for you.
    I love the idea of the bird feeders. Alan loved feeding the birds.

    Love
     
  4. muriel.elliott

    muriel.elliott Registered User

    Aug 21, 2010
    504
    Berkshire
    Thanks Roma and Helen for the lovely words. As usual it is so good to know there are people out there that understand. Of course you are right Roma Bryan would hate me to feel this way but you cannot help the way you feel can you? I suppose in time it will get easier. It will be 1 year come 18th April. I have a bush that i think is probably the same as yours too. Looks a mess at the moment but will be good soon i hope.
    I have been busy in the garden this morning. I always feel closer to Bryan when i am out there or in his greenhouse. He so loved the garden.
    Love and hugs Muriel xxx
     
  5. Bronwen

    Bronwen Registered User

    Jan 8, 2010
    602
    Bristol
    I have not liked Sundays for years now..since Trevor and I couldn't go out for the day or visit grarden centres...the day is for me a day for families and I just feel excluded, although I have a loving son and daugher and grandchildren. But Sunday was our day to relax before the start of the working week...now I have all the time in the world to relax but can't.

    It helps to know there are other TP sufferers out there missing their loved ones, but I so wish we could all have been spared this misery.

    Have just arranged for Trevor's ashes to be interred in a Remembrance Park and I love the idea of a bird feeder.

    Keep swimming love.

    Bronwen x
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.