MCI is it just memory loss?

[GinaM]

Hello,
My mum was told last September that she has MCI - this was something that we’d spotted possibly a year before. She is in total denial and the situation is getting more and more difficult. She has no short term memory, but the problem is more with the things (events/conversations) that she believes have happened but are all in her imagination. It all seems hard to manage - do we just let her get on with it? I feel like we have to wait for something that I go wrong before anyone will help us.

 

[silkiest]

Hello and welcome @GinaM , you sound very frustrated at the moment, unfortunately everyones journey with MCI and dementia is different. My MIL took 6 years for her diagnosis to change from MCI to Alzheimer's whilst it only took mum 6 months. Many people know that there is something wrong but they do not understand where the problem lies and find it difficult to understand as they will fill in gaps in their memory with what they expect to happen or sometimes even with what has been seen on TV or read in newspapers. There is no point arguing as she may not believe you and get upset. The level of confusion can vary dramatically with infections and other health problems and if you notice a sudden change it is always with getting her GP to check her out.
Many people find this advice on communication useful: http://www.ocagingservicescollabora...te-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.pdf
If you don't have power of attorneys in place for health and finance now is the time to get them organised - they can be registered and acted on straight away and if your mum is starting to need help with communicating with utility companies, banks etc this is a good reason to get one as many companies will only talk to relatives with POA. GP's will not discuss another persons health without POA health due to confidentiality concerns and you will need this when she gets worse.
You can fill in the POA forms online on gov.co.uk website and print them out for signatures so you don't need expensive solicitors.
This is a very friendly forum. Take time to read old threads which can give you a lot of information and ask as often as you need - many people will have had similar experiences to you.

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @GinaM and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. You'll get lots of help and advice here, it's a very supportive and friendly place.
This fact sheet from the Alzheimer's Society might be useful in explaining the different
symptoms of Dementia. Memory loss is the one that everyone thinks of with Alzheimer's, but that is not the only symptom. Your mother may well be mixing up past memories, things she's dreamt about and things seen on TV and thinking these things really happened.
I wonder whether it might be a good idea to send your mother's GP an email or letter with your concerns about your mother. It sounds as though things may have move on beyond Mild Cognitive Impairment. The GP may be able to call her in or have a phone consultation and maybe suggest another visit to the Memory Clinic. Letting the GP know will at least mean she is on their radar even if she refuses to go to the GP or a clinic.
I'm sure other people will be along shortly with more ideas and suggestions

 

[GinaM]

Thank you @silkiest for taking the time to reply - I think that’s what I need to hear - that what my mum is going through is what we should expect. It is very frustrating! I wish she would accept things then we could help more.
Thank you for the valuable information about the POA - although getting her to sign anything won’t be easy!
I am very grateful. I will certainly follow your advice and check the forum for situations like mine.

 

[silkiest]

Hi @GinaM, I find how mum is and how she reacts to things varies with the time of day and how she is in general. A lot of other people find that their loved ones are a little more confused or just plain tired and irritable later in the day ( this is often referred to as 'sundowning'). I tend to have a list of things in my mind that need doing and work my way round to them if we talk about loosely related things and she is calm. The best time for us seems to be mid morning. Mum not being able to fit a foot on her sewing machine today progressed to "looking" for spare parts and tidying up and finally starting to clean the spare bedroom today.
Your mum struggling to telephone a company, to pay a bill or get money out of the bank can lead to a mini discussion on POA and how you could help her with a POA in place. Even you telling her that you have decided to do one for yourself as lots of companies are getting more awkward may help.
We had a house leak a couple of years ago whilst on holiday - I didn't have POA and my adult son wasn't mentioned on the household insurance. Because of this company would't talk to him (even though he lived at home at the time)
so nothing could be done till we got back to the UK. That made me think about POA then and now all my family have them.
Good luck, remember baby steps - its more likely to keep your mum calm and happy whilst getting things done. Also pick your arguments - if something she is doing seems silly but its not detrimental to her health or wellbeing, is it worth making a fuss over.