Managing mum at home with advanced dementia

[Topcat68]

Hi I am new to the forum and wanted to ask if anyone has had a similar experience and how they coped.
Mum has advanced Alzheimers and is now bed ridden at home following a hospital stay.
She is eating very little but still taking fluids.
She has very little communication ability and dad is struggling with her sleeping pattern at night. We have carers 4 times a day and I am working from home to help manage her.
I'm not sure how long we can continue to do this for as we are both exhausted.
Any tips would be welcome.

 

[canary]

Hello @Topcat68 and welcome to DTP

It sounds to me like your mums needs have advanced so much now that you and your dad are no longer able to meet them, even though you really want to and you have carers coming in. What your mum needs now is a whole team of people permanently around, who are working in shifts so that they are not exhausted even in the night.

What I am talking about here is a care/nursing home. Im sure that neither you nor your dad want this, but sometimes it is the best option and care/nursing homes are not all bad.

 

[Topcat68]

Hello @Topcat68 and welcome to DTP

It sounds to me like your mums needs have advanced so much now that you and your dad are no longer able to meet them, even though you really want to and you have carers coming in. What your mum needs now is a whole team of people permanently around, who are working in shifts so that they are not exhausted even in the night.

What I am talking about here is a care/nursing home. Im sure that neither you nor your dad want this, but sometimes it is the best option and care/nursing homes are not all bad.

Thanks for the advice.
We have had really bad experience with respite care which has made us nervous of residential care.
Along with that mum does know who we are but is very agitated with the carers and I worry how quickly she will go downhill with very limited visits given the experience in hospital.

 

[canary]

Im sorry you had a bad experience with respite @Topcat68 , it maybe wasnt the right place for her.

My mum moved into a care home. She still knew who I was - in fact she still knew who I was literally on her death bed, so, you see, I dont think that this is a good way of judging whether its the right time. Care/nursing home is nothing like hospital experience and you may not find that she goes downhill after the move - mum didnt. She actually thrived and was much calmer in her care home, although it did take a few weeks for her to settle.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Topcat68 and welcome to the forum from me too.

Beyond the sound advice given by @canary, I wonder if it would be worthwhile talking to your Social Worker and GP to see if any tweaks can be made to the care package or any medication to improve the home situation.

 

[Topcat68]

Thanks everyone.
I will speak to our GP and social worker.