Managing medication in double dementia household at a distance

[pimpernel]

Hello everyone, this is my first post, I just joined today.

Have been engaged in chasing a diagnosis and help for my two parents since January this year. This month, we should have the diagnoses, and my parents are already having a carer come in once a day, for a half hour visit. Dad has MCI and it looks as if Mom has Alzheimers - she becomes very confused and disorientated at times. She is in the horrid stage where she knows her mind isn't working properly and is distressed by this. After a poorly spell her doctor has put my Mom's medication into a blister pack, to help everyone see whether she has had the medication or not - poorliness likely was caused by not taking enough meds.

Mom has got it into her mind that she is better off taking two doses a day rather than the prescribed one dose, and her first week with the blister pack isn't going well. My dad isn't able to help her much as he has often forgotten his own medication and is still learning to deal with his own blister pack (of a different shape and size to avoid confusion).

Would it be best to have a locked medicine cupboard or box, accessible only to carers, so they can get the blister packs out once per day and supervise to see the correct days' dose is taken? I don't think this will be popular with my Mom, and I've noticed just how long it takes to put in any sort of change. Seems to me that while they live in their own house together this system is going to be necessary in time to keep them safe, and it might be best we start now. What are other people's experiences, where there is no live in adult with their memory intact? My sister and I both live over 90 miles away and they have no relatives locally.

I appreciate your time and thoughts.

many many thanks!

 

[pippop1]

You could put it in a locked box (like a cash box) kept in the kitchen in the most inaccessible place you can find, and put the key to the box in a Keysafe outside the property. These have a combination that can be set and the carers can be told. Don't tell your parents though. Just say it's for safety.

This can also contain the door keys in case they don't open the door to the carers through illness or mood! You can blame the care agency who insist on the keysafe.

 

[loveahug]

We had the same problem with my mum, we told her that the new medication was dangerous and the doctor said it HAD to be supervised! Locked medicine cabinet, key in the keysafe otuside with the front door key, bingo! Since her medication has been controlled by the carers her general health has improved and is very stable now, 12 months later. Best thing we did for her!

Good luck, this is an horrendous disease and coping with one parent with difficulties is hard work, to think of managing two at the same time will qualify you for sainthood

 

[pimpernel]

You could put it in a locked box (like a cash box) kept in the kitchen in the most inaccessible place you can find, and put the key to the box in a Keysafe outside the property. These have a combination that can be set and the carers can be told. Don't tell your parents though. Just say it's for safety.

This can also contain the door keys in case they don't open the door to the carers through illness or mood! You can blame the care agency who insist on the keysafe.

Thanks pippop, that does seem like a good idea. They already have a keysafe, although I need to find out whether they are still answering the door.. we've a notice on the door by the lock saying, 'Please lock the door and put the key on the XXX', but I don't know whether they are now removing the key. No, I've not told them the keysafe number - I just keep reminding them they don't need it as they have their own keys.

Yes, the top of the fridge freezer is already coming in handy. Neither of them can reach up there. I can see I need to do some planning, get my Sis onto this as she's the next one there.

 

[pimpernel]

We had the same problem with my mum, we told her that the new medication was dangerous and the doctor said it HAD to be supervised! Locked medicine cabinet, key in the keysafe otuside with the front door key, bingo! Since her medication has been controlled by the carers her general health has improved and is very stable now, 12 months later. Best thing we did for her!

Good luck, this is an horrendous disease and coping with one parent with difficulties is hard work, to think of managing two at the same time will qualify you for sainthood

Thankyou Loveahug, this is very helpful. Sounds like the keysafe is the way to go. Won't get easier if we put it off. The doctor is very good about being blamed for all sorts of unpleasant new changes, he got Mom to stop driving in May.

The way to sainthood is paved with intermittent growling rages (wish they had moved to our town 10 years ago when we did our best to encourage this) and unexpected attacks of bawling when driving the 90+ miles by myself. A relief that I have feelings and that they are at least moving out, as I cope by just dealing with all the practical tasks. Have just rebuttoned (with bigger buttons) and button holed about 15 garments so they can fasten them themselves. I have a 10 yr old whom I home-school and another young person doing GSCE at school, and my small business is becoming a lot smaller. I don't dislike being with Mom and Dad at all. I want to mother them all the time, and that's just not possible. My kids come first too. ARRRRGH

 

[loveahug]

Your parents would agree that your children come first so don't become a martyr to Alzheimers! Increase care as and when it's needed, don't stand for any nonsense from them, it's necessary tough love. Mum came at me once with fist raised and I loudly said in my sternest voice 'You hit me and I'll walk out of the door and never come back'. It stopped her in her tracks and she's never got that far again. Specific incidents may not be remembered but the deeper emotions stay.

I drive 120 miles to mum's once or twice a month and stay a few days, and work full time, too old to need to worry about my kids now though, I don't know how you do it!

 

[pimpernel]

Your parents would agree that your children come first so don't become a martyr to Alzheimers! Increase care as and when it's needed, don't stand for any nonsense from them, it's necessary tough love. Mum came at me once with fist raised and I loudly said in my sternest voice 'You hit me and I'll walk out of the door and never come back'. It stopped her in her tracks and she's never got that far again. Specific incidents may not be remembered but the deeper emotions stay.

I drive 120 miles to mum's once or twice a month and stay a few days, and work full time, too old to need to worry about my kids now though, I don't know how you do it!

Your comments are very helpful and reassuring. No, I don't want to be a martyr to it. I still want a life . Your timetable sounds like hard work to me. Care is being increased by me even this week and I will go on doing it whilst them staying there is still feasible. Their pharmacist asked which days I go over there... I pointed out that the days are driven by my attendance at appointments where relatives are required to attend. That seems to put me into two visits a month before any extras come along. Thankfully I have a wonderful DH, offspring who are willing to help around the house, and a Sister to share it with, who is doing her best, around keeping her mortgage afloat. Luckily I enjoy helping my 10 yr old with her maths, too

 

[turmoil]

Combination safe, capable of holding a months worth of dossett box, I paid £70 but well worth it, think ahead as the tablet dispenser I bought previously was a waste. Carers for Dad will only give tablets from dosset box, and combination lock needs no key left in the home. Dossett box is size of A4 (each weekly dosset box)


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[Linbrusco]

Pimpernel, I have a 12yo & 17yo. part time carer for my husband with health issues, and carer for Mum 73 with moderate Alzheimers & Dad 76 with CGI. I work 3 days a week to keep financially afloat.
In my case my parents live behind us.

I had to take over Mum & Dads meds about 2 yrs ago.
Neither of them could handle blister packs. Dad working his days back to front , and Mum with not enough strength or dexterity to perforate the pack. If they were prescribed anything last minute, which wasn't in the blister pack, it just caused chaos.

I have to make up Mum & Dads weekly. Each in a container of different colour and size so Mum doesn't get them mixed up.
Mum has one tablet she can't afford to overdose on as she has been known to get days mixed up and take her tablets again, so I take it over every night.
I even have to leave strips of Paracetamol in 4's as Mum gets confused as to how many hours in between since a last dose if she needs them.

I have looked at so many different types of pill containers, locked boxes, timed alarms, and they all just seem to confusing for Mum and Dad.
At this stage its not a worry as we are always here and I check their pill containers daily but the moment Mum starts taking a whole weeks worth is the day we need to take extra measures.
Its a difficult one.

 

[pimpernel]

Pimpernel, I have a 12yo & 17yo. part time carer for my husband with health issues, and carer for Mum 73 with moderate Alzheimers & Dad 76 with CGI. I work 3 days a week to keep financially afloat.
In my case my parents live behind us.

I had to take over Mum & Dads meds about 2 yrs ago.
Neither of them could handle blister packs. Dad working his days back to front , and Mum with not enough strength or dexterity to perforate the pack. If they were prescribed anything last minute, which wasn't in the blister pack, it just caused chaos.

I have to make up Mum & Dads weekly. Each in a container of different colour and size so Mum doesn't get them mixed up.
Mum has one tablet she can't afford to overdose on as she has been known to get days mixed up and take her tablets again, so I take it over every night.
I even have to leave strips of Paracetamol in 4's as Mum gets confused as to how many hours in between since a last dose if she needs them.

I have looked at so many different types of pill containers, locked boxes, timed alarms, and they all just seem to confusing for Mum and Dad.
At this stage its not a worry as we are always here and I check their pill containers daily but the moment Mum starts taking a whole weeks worth is the day we need to take extra measures.
Its a difficult one.

I know there are many people out there with much tougher scenarios than mine. You have such a lot of responsibilities, caring for your husband and parents and children all at once. Do you get any respite care? Who looks after you?
My Sis has ordered lockable meds box and will be setting it up this weekend. The daily carers will be supervising meds from now on - thankfully its only once a day this is needed. My parents like yours are confused by the blister packs, however they were undermedicating before and it caused ill health. These packs really are to help the helpers make sure about what has and has not been taken.

I feel like my parents' long distance brain, remembering, planning, and coordinating their lives from afar. Am glad I am available to do it, and I realise there must be many people out there with no offspring to advocate for them and organise their care.

 

[pimpernel]

Combination safe, capable of holding a months worth of dossett box, I paid £70 but well worth it, think ahead as the tablet dispenser I bought previously was a waste. Carers for Dad will only give tablets from dosset box, and combination lock needs no key left in the home. Dossett box is size of A4 (each weekly dosset box)


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

Well we've ordered a box with key now, hopefully this will still work. Carers going in using keysafe every day already so hopefully this won't be a problem. I did wonder about pill dispensers, and realised that it would be a new gizmo to understand, which wouldn't work. Also there isn't a family member there each week at the right time to set all that up. They've had their grill for 18 yrs now but have twice called out professional help to mend it because they'd forgotten how to operate the controls. Learning new things is off limits when they forget long familiar ones.

 

[pippop1]

Just to say, we got the GP to reduce the number of times per day that medication needed to be taken to the minimum number. Some tablets might be able to be given once at a higher strength instead of twice a day at half srength for example. The GP might decide it is better to have the correct dose so can adjust the prescriptions. Obviously this doesn't work with all drugs.