My mum stayed at my place last night and the previous night. The first night she came down for her weekly visit with Dad, and then to my surprise she asked to stay the next night because she had seen some matresses on sale that she wanted to buy. Of course I told her I was happy for her to stay (people who know my rocky relationship with my mother, would know that there was some effort involved in maintaining a happy smiling face about it, but despite my problems with my mother, which she seems to be completely oblivious too, I am not one to kick a woman when she is down, and her husband, my father has dementia and is in a home, so as you all know you can't get much more down than that). Anyway when I got up this morning she told me that she would soon be up and off to get the mattresses and go home. I asked in a very ligh unconcerned tone, 'Are you going to visit Dad today?' and was stunned when she said no with out a blink of an eyelid. My mother lives two hours drive away from my Dad's 'home', she won't be back for another week. I know its probably very hard for her, and perhaps she didn't feel emotionally up to it, but I just don't understand how she can tell me how this is ripping her apart and yet she drove past where he lives today four times (because she forgot something at my house and came down to my husband's business place, and Dad's home is on the road in between the two places) without going in. I know i know, from firsthand experience how hard it is to visit, but she expects me to visit him daily, and adds to my guilt with her words when I don't manage it all of the time. I do believe the woman sent my father crazy and is sending me there too!