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Making things up

Eddiep

Registered User
Mar 7, 2021
32
0
My mum has vascular dementia, she was diagnosed in April, in the last week I have noticed that she is getting more confused to the point when I speak to her I’m not sure if she is making things up or if it really has happened.
Is this a normal part of dementia?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,541
0
South coast
Yes, making things up is part of dementia - its called confabulation. Your mum is not doing on purpose and wont even realise that she is making things up. What happens is that your mum has lots of gaps in her memory and the subconscious brain is filling them in with false memories made up from things from her past, things people have said, stuff seen on TV, dreams and a large dollop of imagination, all mixed up together. Its done to try and explain and fit together the bits of memory that are left, even though we know that its not correct.

Dont try and correct her - it will only upset or anger her because, you see, she remembers what she says and to her the false memories seem like the real thing..........
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
81
0
52
Liverpool
My mum has vascular dementia, she was diagnosed in April, in the last week I have noticed that she is getting more confused to the point when I speak to her I’m not sure if she is making things up or if it really has happened.
Is this a normal part of dementia?
I’ve found this with my mum. For the whole time I’m with her on visits I have absolutely no clue what’s she’s talking about but I just listen and laugh as if I’m thoroughly interested when really inside I’m like WOW! It’s horrible and blows your mind at first but you’ll get used to it ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

Eddiep

Registered User
Mar 7, 2021
32
0
Yes, making things up is part of dementia - its called confabulation. Your mum is not doing on purpose and wont even realise that she is making things up. What happens is that your mum has lots of gaps in her memory and the subconscious brain is filling them in with false memories made up from things from her past, things people have said, stuff seen on TV, dreams and a large dollop of imagination, all mixed up together. Its done to try and explain and fit together the bits of memory that are left, even though we know that its not correct.

Dont try and correct her - it will only upset or anger her because, you see, she remembers what she says and to her the false memories seem like the real thing..........
Thanks that’s really helpful
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
409
0
I find the television quite difficult now, some programs he thinks are real, or he has met the people involved, and 2 nights ago, he briefly watched “Saving lives at sea” about the lifeboats, and was utterly convinced that he had seen the lifeboat launch outside the window. Totally different reality.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,956
0
High Peak
The other difficulty is that if they say, 'There's a blue dog in the bathroom,' you can react with panache and say with confidence that you know and have already moved it. But when they say, 'Someone was trying to break in last night,' or, 'I've got a new boyfriend!' you start to worry. The half-credible tales can be really challenging!
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
321
0
The biggest problem is when it sounds convincing. Social Workers and carers will often believe whatever the PWD says, especially if it means they don't have to do anything! Hence the many cases where the PWD claims to be managing perfectly well at home, don't need help thank you, and so no help is provided despite being desperately needed. There is insufficient training to recognise that dementia is very different from a mental illness or learning disability. It needs to be recognised as the degenerative brain disease it actually is and those living with it (and their carers/families) supported accordingly. But that won't happen because of money.
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
381
0
I find the television quite difficult now, some programs he thinks are real, or he has met the people involved, and 2 nights ago, he briefly watched “Saving lives at sea” about the lifeboats, and was utterly convinced that he had seen the lifeboat launch outside the window. Totally different reality.
TV is a nightmare - there is no telling which programmes are going to become "reality". Even the seemingly harmless property / antiques / gardening ones can be a source of confabulations, whilst the grim crime dramas have no effect.
Mum's dementia came on as a result of delirium. Unfortunately, when she was in hospital at that time, the doctor chose to believe all her tall stories - resulting in my father and their lovely neighbour being refused visits. My father had apparently pushed her down the stairs (the cause of her broken hip, which led to delirium), depite being 200 miles away! We never found out what her blamelss neighbour was accused of.
On Saturday, apparently, the Queen visited us, and used the commode....
 

Lin47

Registered User
Apr 14, 2020
21
0
I agree with you about TV. My mum thanked me for taking her on a tour of a soup factory over 300 miles away. It was actually an episode of Inside the Factory.
The current one is when I teleport to her care home for visits (apparently). The only time she left the house at night was when she heard someone on the radio calling for help so she went outside to find them.
 

Catastrophe

Registered User
Feb 15, 2019
77
0
Currently my Dad is convinced he was Foyle from Foyles war, during the war. He was only 12 when it finished, so pretty impressive being a senior detective at that age He knows John Nettles well and spent lots of time in Newcastle with him. He also played international football for years, trained all the major snooker players, despite never having picked up a cue and has travelled the world with Monty Don. We just smile and nod. No point in saying anything really.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,725
0
Dad knew lots of people from TV he used to work with most of them, especially if they had an antique shop, he recognised the stuff on the shelves as well so he knew he had been in those shops. He had also been every where, usually while on a cruise including Baghdad and the Himalayas. I would just act interested.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
562
0
Mum is in a nursing home and regularly does all the washing, cleaning the windows inside and out and also cooking the meals. She also has a man who sleeps in her wardrobe/under the bed and must get ready to cut the grass. These are just some of the things that she can come out with at any time.

Another side of her tales is that no one ever goes in to see her and they don't give her anything to eat or drink.
 

Rob_E

Registered User
Feb 1, 2015
205
0
Mum was always leaving me a note to say that no carer had called, even though there was an entry in the log and clear evidence that they had called and done what they should have. Another favourite was that she hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day, in spite of there being empty plates and cups on the coffee table.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,956
0
High Peak
Mum: There's been no food all week! The chef has gone - they sacked him because he was stealing all the things. I've had nothing - not even stale bread!
Me, pointing at the hot cup of tea, selection of biscuits and large open bag of Giant Chocolate Buttons on the side table: What's that then - scotch mist?
Mum: Well they've only brought that because you're here. There's been no food all week...!
 

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