New to this. I read all the posts and find them such a help but still feel No one has a mum quite like miwne! We have never really been very close although all my life I have felt guilty, bad, never good enough but was so close to my dad. I knew something was wrong with my mum about three or four years ago as I saw her every day and noticed she was becoming nastier and more forgetful. She has always been quite selfish and nasty to her family but to others she is always a lovely kind sweet old lady. I still do not know how she manages to keep up this act despite having Alzheimer's finally confirmed last year. It took me several years to get anyone to believe that there was a serious problem. I just knew. Since the end of last year she has deteriorated rapidly. We find it so hard to leave her alone but when we are there she tells us she wants us gone. Then she tells us she is lonely. She forgets to take her pills. She cannot tell you if she has eaten. She has forgotten she cannot drive and has not driven for almost a year. That is another battle..... My brother stays a few nights a week with her. I have been very ill and unable to stay there. My fear of her is so deeply in ground I find it So stressful but I know this is not about me. I just wish she would accept she is ill and accept our help. We do everything for her but she says we don't do anything. We have found a wonderful home for her. Specialists say she needs 24 hour care. I got her to the HOTEL this week for a day and she did have a lovely day. I stayed with her but got home and was physically sick with sheer nerves of it all. Then she says she will NOT leave her house and go anywhere. This week she has fallen over. She loses and hides money, keys you name it. I lie awake all night worrying about her and also knowing it's not her and I cannot reason with her. I feel useless. She does not want me around. Really she just wants my brother who was always her favourite. Now a room will be available at the home. It is the best thing for her. We know that. How do we get her there? They are coming to assess her this week and we plan to say she has to stay for a short time. What if she refuses? Do we not visit for a while? She is physically quite fit although has fallen this week..... all she cares about is going to her keep feet class and where her next meal is coming from. We do all the shopping, cooking, paperwork, everything for her and it has all got too much. I try to blank everything out but feel guilty that my brother is having to stay there with her some nights but I cannot physically manage there or cope with her. It is a lovely home. Really near and lovely kind staff etc. We tried to get full time carers in or even part time but NO, of course she does not need them as there is nothing wrong with her and I have made it all up. ironically she was well behaved on the day at the home, ate like a horse, enjoyed everything except when we got back she told my brother I was trying to put her away and she would never leave her house. Then she says she is lonely....... Sorry to go on. I cannot sleep and do not know where to turn. My brother is less emotional than me but he has not been around until recently and is now doing his best to help but we both know things cannot continue as they are. My mum treats his wife with contempt as well so she cannot go there for long so he is in the middle too. Any advice would be very gratefully received. I do not know where to turn so thank you if anyone gets to the end of this very lengthy post!!!!