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Making sense of it all


Registered User
Aug 26, 2015
My sister died in October at the age of 62 following 8 years with early onset Alzheimer's. She was a bright, funny, gorgeous, vibrant woman who became someone lost and vacant...so diminished...she would have hated who she became and there is some comfort in knowing that she is at peace now...however..

I still feel her loss so intensely...I thought that I had grieved for her before she died as bit by bit I had lost her over the years and she had no recognition of me for sometime before she died. But now I feel as if I am grieving for 2 people, the big sister that I grew up with and the sister that I became advocate for in the last 8 years...

There is something about losing a sibling that seems surreal, I lost both my parents some time ago and although I miss them dearly, there felt a certain order to that...I knew that her life would be shortened, but now that she is gone, I just miss her so much.

Most people that I have come across have lost parents to Alzheimers/dementia, but I don't know of anyone in my position, and would be grateful to talk to someone who understands this perspective.



Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
near Folkestone
Hello dobby1 , I have no experience of this but didn't want to read and run as your are sounding so sad. I think when family members pass away it just leaves such a huge void and while we expect our parents to go before us , it makes it extremely sad when it is a sibling . Just give yourself time , take each day as it comes as there is no time limit on grief. Be kind to yourself too and look after yourself . Lots of hugs xxxx

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point


Registered User
May 22, 2015
I so feel for you although have no experience of this. Any death of a close family member is just dreadful and as you have already lost your parents and now your sister to this cruel disease, you must feel very lonely. I can fully understand what you are saying about missing two people and its so, so sad. I hope someone else can share their experiences with you on here but in the meantime I am sending you a big hug. xx


Registered User
Aug 26, 2015
Thank you both for your kind words and hugs...both of which are received with gratitude. xx


Registered User
Jul 8, 2014
I lost my brother to a brain tumour in 2003 and thought I knew all about grieving having lost both my parents previously. However I was wrong, the grief I felt for my brother was a totally new, totally overwhelming thing which took a while to recover from.

I still miss him even now and still feel it is so unfair that he died. You do expect your parents to die but you never expect a sibling to be taken away.

All I can say is take your time to grieve and don't worry about how you are feeling. If you want to talk about your feelings you could always contact Samaritans (www.samaritans.org) who will give you space and time to offload

Do take care of yourself xx