Making a cup of tea.

[Kayla]

I know this might sound rather trivial and unimportant, but I do miss being able to make a cup of tea for Mum when I visit her in the NH. She always liked to welcome visitors with a drink of tea or coffee when she was in her own home and she nags me to make some tea as soon as I arrive. I explain that the nurses will be bringing one round soon, but if they are late with the tea trolley, Mum gets quite annoyed.
I do try to time my visits with the morning or afternoon tea, but it doesn't always work out. It would be quite nice if relatives could make themselves a drink when visiting, especially if they come straight from work or have had a long journey. I wonder if some NH have a relatives' room for refreshments?
Kayla

 

[Brucie]

Have you asked if you may do this?

I just go to the care home mini-kitchen and brew some tea, or get some cranberry juice, or whatever I think Jan needs. Often, I am asked if we would like tea as soon as I arrive, which saves me making it.

It is worth asking... you may be surprised!

 

[Áine]

Hi Kayla

I don't think it IS trivial. Preparing food and drink for others is one of the most significant things we do in relationships. Making a drink means far more than simply making a drink, it's about care and hospitality and friendship etc.

I used to visit dad at his nursing home after work. I'd finish work, tired, not have a drink before I left because it took over an hour to get from work to the nursing home and I didn't want to be late. The traffic was usually horrendous. By the time I got there I was dying for a cup of coffee and dad would want to offer me one. Visitors weren't supposed to go in the kitchen. Some of the carers if not too busy would make dad and I a drink when i arrived. Otherwise it was wait and hope for the tea trolley.

One of the nursing homes we looked at (the one I liked most but didn't have any vacancies) advertised itself as having a visitors kitchen. I didn't see it, do don't quite know how good it was. But it sounded an excellent idea.

 

[Grandaughter 1]

Mentioning tea has made me smile. The first thing my Nan does when we visit her and Grandad is make a nice old fashioned pot of tea. Whenever I see teapots or tealeaves I think of her.

A relatives room or little kitchen sounds like an excellent idea. Perhaps you could suggest it?

 

[Cate]

Hi Kayla

We are lucky, the NH where mum now lives has a coffee shop where visitors can go with, or without (if you need a break) their loved ones. It's fully equipped with tea, coffee, milk etc. and you simply help yourself.

If your NH does not have this facility, have you thought of maybe taking in a flask of tea with you along with cups etc. not quite the same but better than nothing.
Hope this helps.
Cate

 

[Lila13]

All the places I visited, when looking for a place for my mother, had a kitchen where residents and their visitors could make tea.

 

[perfectpatience]

When mum first went into the carehome (in January) the staff would always offer us a cuppa. Last week when mum was poorly...a relative came to see her (he travelled over 100 miles) and when I met up with him at the home...he was dying for a cup of tea. I asked in the kitchen if it was possible to make him one...but I received an 'icy' stare and told I'd have to wait as they were cleaning the floor. This is fair enough...but nearly an hour later...still no tea was mentioned. I felt too uncomfortable to ask again (it does depend on what care staff are on duty I believe) so I was just unlucky that particular day. In the end I asked my uncle to come home with me for a cuppa...which we did and returned later to the home. I really think it must be nicer when the home has facilities for visitors...this puts us at ease....and makes the visit far more enjoyable.

 

[lou lou]

My mum's care home encourages visitors to make tea and coffee.They have small seating ares as well as the main lounge as an alternative to sitting in someones room.

Mum has her own jar of expensive coffee in her room to which she ( should I say we) add a tot of baileys. (A habit she got into at home because the milk was always going off) They also have accommodation for visitors who have to travel a long way. We've never used it but it's a nice touch.

 

[mw52]

Cuppa's

Hi
I have to say that in all the places mum has been there have been facilities for visitors to make tea either for the resident and/or themselves. In fact, the home where mum is now have told us that dad can stop all day and they will give him lunch/tea - no charge (mind you, for what we are paying the whole family should be able to go for a meal once a week! - but don't let me start on that!!!!!)
So, I agree with the other posts - maybe you should ask. There are certain carers I think in every establishment who are more approachable than others - wait until one of them is on duty!! My husband wanted to get mum a kettle and some crockery, etc., for her room so that we could make ourselves a drink but I'm not sure that any home would welcome that - health and safety/electrical testing, etc., so we use the kitchen.

 

[Lila13]

When I visited my mother in the respite place a workman asked me for a cuppa, I said I don't know I don't work here so he said he'd make himself one and did. No staff in sight at the time.

 

[Libby]

Hi Kayla

Have you thought of taking a flask of tea in with you - I've started doing this when I visit Mum in the home (Don't mean to sound ungrateful, but quite often when they came round with the tea it was stewed!) I treat it like a little picnic in her room - sometimes taking little cakes in as well.

Mum washes the cups up when we're finished and she seems to enjoy it.

Libs