made the first move!

dave b

Registered User
Nov 21, 2006
iv'e not been on here for a few weeks,but things have now come to a head
mom has fallen twice in the last couple of days & we have spent time in a&e not the best places in the world,so now i have been cajolled by my mates to make the step to contact care homes, i am going on tues to the one that seems to be the one that is the best round here,i know one of the carers what should i look for? any advice?

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Dave,

It`s a huge decision but in your mother`s case probably for the best. Once your mother starts to fall, it puts her at risk.

You`ll probably get lots of advice, so I`ll give you mine for starters.

Does the home smell...........of deodorant [as a cover up] or of things less pleasant?
Does it look clean and fresh?
Did you have to make an appointment or were you invited to drop in anytime?
Is there a gentle hum of people chatting?
Are they all sitting round the walls looking into the centre of the room?
Is the TV on with no-one watching it?
What is the dining area like?
Is there a quiet room, away from the main sittibng room?
Do the staff seem friendly with each other as well as the residents.
Does the home offer the latest CSCI report, or do you need to ask for it?

I could go on................:eek:

Good luck.

dave b

Registered User
Nov 21, 2006
thanks, sylvia i have made the appointment because of working full time i can only get out every now & then work is pretty suportive but i dont want to take to many liberties,i know a fair few people whos'e relatives have been in this home so i hope it should be ok!but will let you know tues night,hopefully a girlfriend will come with me to give a objective view.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Dave, a few more suggestions:

What is the staff/patient ratio? And at night? And weekends?
Is open visiting allowed?
What security is there?
Are special diets/pureed diets catered for? (You never know......)
Can the patients choose whether to stay in their rooms, eat in their rooms, as opposed to using communal rooms?
How often are they bathed/showered?

You're doing the right thing. I hope the NH you're going to visit turns out to be everything you hope. Good luck, and let us know.


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Dave

A few more suggestions for you.

Talk to the staff, how long have they been employed, is it a good place to work, do they look after their staff, are staff over stretched. Happy staff that have been there years can be a good indication.

Can you remove all the NH furniture and install mum's in her bedroom. Can you make her room look like home, not just furniture, but pictures on the walls etc.,

Does each room have its own toilet / wash hand basin.

Are there daily activities organised for residents.

Do they arrange trips out for residents.

Do they have dentist, optician, chiropodist, hairdresser visiting the home.

Is tea / coffee / snacks freely available outside of meal times.

What are the arrangements for laundry.

Are residents taken to the toilet when they want to go, or do they insist that resident wear pads and have toileting times (yes this practice still does go on)

Is there a garden for residents in the summer months, easily accessed from the living area, but secure enough to prevent escapes, or intruders.

Dont be afraid to ask any questions, its a huge decision to make.

Best wishes.


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Hi Dave,All of the above is superb advice.If you like the home then i would suggest that you ask can Mum have a day or half a day there,you go along aswell if you can.Seeing the day to day running of the home and getting Mum introduced to others may help.I hope all goes elainex
p.s you could also ask to see the latest family/resident survey of the home which should be conducted should actually be on a notice board along with the recent CSCI inspection report.

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
Dear Dave,

Nothing additional to add to all the excellent advice given by others, but best of luck. The thing that impressed me with the home I hope my parents will go tomorrow was that I could go in any time to visit the home, I met a lot of the other residents and it simply felt a happy place to be in. Obviously that was added to the practical side of things too that others have suggested.

Good luck, hope you find something really nice.

dave b

Registered User
Nov 21, 2006
beckyjan you know my techniphobe probs,hope you got my pm if not tell me again how to do it!, sorry i'm a bit thick!


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hi Dave,
Sorry to hear that it has reached the point where it is necessary to place your mum. Unfortunately, that time comes to most carers. You have received great advice here and already knowing one of the carers has to be a bonus. Good luck on Tuesday, hopefully all works out well. Regards Taffy.