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Registered User
Dec 27, 2013
My mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia this year. Recently she has become very depressed. Crying which is unlike her. Is this down to the illness or is this something new. She seems to have gone downhill rapidly this last few weeks. Memory is worse not remembering any conversations with people from day to day. She has become really anxious and shaking. Dropping and spilling things. When I ask her she just replies. "I'm ok" I'll be gone soon. I find this really upsetting. How can I help her. Any advice please. She has battled lung and breast cancer the past 3 years as well. She is giving up. Help :confused:


Registered User
Nov 28, 2012
Moved to Leicester
Hi Lyn

A very warm welcome to TP, there are lots of lovely people here with lots of knowledge and support for you.

So sorry to hear of your mum's battles, and the latest one seems such a cruel blow. It sounds like she needs to see the GP, it could be a UTI (take a urine sample), or depression or anxiety, all of which can be treated.

Best wishes, let us know how she gets on

hugs x


Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
Things to think about include...

Check for infection. Could be UTI or chest infection. All of these can have a dreadful effect on someone with dementia.

Was she put on any medication when diagnosed? Could this be a side effect to any medication she is on?

Whilst this can be associated with the dementia, it is worth getting things checked out to see if she perhaps has depression in it's own right.

If it is associated with the dementia then many people react in this way and need lots of help and reassurance that she is doing well and everyone is there to help. She could, for example, be getting anxious about not understanding the changes that are happening to her world. Maybe she is frightened but does not want to acknowledge or discuss the dementia. From your point of view I would consider putting the dementia on the back burner for now and make a big thing of everything she is still able to do. Keep things positive and avoid the D word altogether. That might help her anxiety if everything is just seen as 'normal'. This is what we did. Little white lies if need be. Anything that could keep her happy. The D word was never mentioned so we made no reference to it.


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