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LPOA's duteis towards other family members

Dee68

Registered User
Dec 21, 2013
5
Hi

I have both LPOA for both parents. One parent is now in a home and I feel the LPOA is kicking in for them. The other in sheltered accommodation and still able to function, although there are memory issues. I don't feel the LPOA has kicked in with them.

I have been emailed a long list of orders from them (my siblings) that I have been told to carry out. I have been told to do this and that to my face. I feel I am being bullied and feel intimidated. They have made myself and my family stressed, anxious, made to feel like liars and thieves. They have ordered me to do things that I know my parent (the one with the LPOA that has kicked in) does not want me to do, because I have asked. They want me to send them financial documents, which I believe would be breaking the Data Protection Act.

I know they are family, but I don't believe they have the right to do this.

My question is: What are my duties towards my other family members?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
 

Pete R

Registered User
Jul 26, 2014
2,038
Staffs
Hi

I have both LPOA for both parents. One parent is now in a home and I feel the LPOA is kicking in for them. The other in sheltered accommodation and still able to function, although there are memory issues. I don't feel the LPOA has kicked in with them.

I have been emailed a long list of orders from them (my siblings) that I have been told to carry out. I have been told to do this and that to my face. I feel I am being bullied and feel intimidated. They have made myself and my family stressed, anxious, made to feel like liars and thieves. They have ordered me to do things that I know my parent (the one with the LPOA that has kicked in) does not want me to do, because I have asked. They want me to send them financial documents, which I believe would be breaking the Data Protection Act.

I know they are family, but I don't believe they have the right to do this.

My question is: What are my duties towards my other family members?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Hi Dee and welcome,

If your parents are still capable of making their own decisions then is it up to them what they want to share with anyone else. When it becomes time to use the PoA and if you are the only one named as attorney your obligations are to your parents and no one else. I assume they chose you for a reason.

Having said that and without knowing the family history I can see how other members can get worried over how financial matters are being conducted and to keep them in the loop may not be a bad idea. You should try and comply with reasonable requests but if your parents have said that they do not wish you to then that's the way it should be.
:)

Edit....Forgot to say the Data Protection Act doesn't really apply in these circumstances.
 
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Misstep

Registered User
Oct 7, 2015
59
South Wales
Confidentiality

I saw the comment about Data Protection - you're right about that, of course, but my solicitor has advised me that I am not entitled to share details of my mother's affairs with siblings under the duty of confidentiality of an attorney. Doing so could potentially lead to a complaint that the attorney was not acting properly.
 

Pete R

Registered User
Jul 26, 2014
2,038
Staffs
.........but my solicitor has advised me that I am not entitled to share details of my mother's affairs with siblings under the duty of confidentiality of an attorney. Doing so could potentially lead to a complaint that the attorney was not acting properly.
I suppose if you think that your relatives are going to use the information to do something that is not in the best interest of your Parents then yes restrict what you tell them. You shouldn't feel pressured into doing something that you believe they would not have wanted.

Just bear in mind though if the other family members used to be involved in your parents affairs and now feel excluded they are also able to make complaints. OPG guidance does allow the sharing of information for best interest reasons.

Dealing with disgruntled relatives is unfortunately something that has to be dealt with as an attorney and can be quite a juggling act.

Good Luck.:)
 

Dee68

Registered User
Dec 21, 2013
5
Thank you

Thank you everyone.

As LPOA I felt that it is my duty to carry out my parent's wishes, although the dementia is progressing, I still believe that my parent knows the difference between right and wrong, as we can still hold conversations. After seeing them this morning, I thought I would ask again. They answered that it was fine. My husband was there as a witness, so I feel I am good to share this information with family members. They asked for bank statements and a copy of my parent's birth certificate and will. My family members have never been involved with any administrative or financial work while both parents were together or since they separated, since they moved here to be closer to us. I don't feel like I am excluding them from anything, I am just trying my best for my parent. I am happy for them to be involved in all decisions, however, I do not like being bullied, and that was how I felt when they sent me a long list of what I should do. I was under the impression, my duty is to my parents and not to jump every time my family members decide they want something.

Thank you to all who replied, I wish you a very happy day. :)
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
You should keep records of spending including what and why. You dont have to share a will with anyone. As lpoa even you have no immediate legal right to it unless it was given to you by your parent. Stay firm and tell siblings you will give a regular update on spending required for your parents.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,135
Yorkshire
Hi Dee68
Glad you have chatted with your parents and put your mind at rest - and you're right, as attorney you are required to act in their best interest, you can of course take into account others' views, in the end, though, it's your responsibility not theirs
I agree with Quilty, though - no-one has a right to sight of another's will until it is read after the person's death - so unless you parents have specifically agreed to this, you aren't really at liberty to share it (my understanding)
I'm a little concerned about the request for the birth certificates, why would anyone need these - copies can be ordered online for about £10, that may be the best way for them to have their own copy - and certainly don't let any original documents go astray
http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/
best wishes
 
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Beetroot

Registered User
Aug 19, 2015
362
A will is a private document until probate has been obtained (which ain't going to happen any time soon as your parents are very much alive), when it becomes public and copies can be got from (I think) the probate office.

The mental capacity act makes it clear that someone who has limited mental capacity should still be involved in decisions as far as is possible. It recognises that they may have capacity to make some decisions and not others.

In your shoes, I'd put everything in writing and also make notes of who says what and when, including what your parents said when you discussed various things with them. It's a bore and time consuming, but if there is Trouble in the future, you'll be the one who has evidence of what went on.