LPA - is t necessary?

[morgaine42]

thats it basically, should my sisters and I bother getting LPA for my Mum who is in mid stages of dementia? have already had several 'disagreements' with them regarding various issues around Mums health, welfare, finances etc. Latest that I think we should have LPA in place, they not convinced its necessary. Any advice gratefully received,
thanks,
Jx

 

[Beate]

Should you bother? Yes of course. Without LPA you can't legally manage her finances, and if you wait until she has no capacity, the only way is deputyship - which is much more expensive and onerous. If they don't think it's necessary, well they don't need to be involved, do they?

 

[ossettbob]

I would certainly do it. My SIL had already signed for EPA several years ago & it has taken 5 months to finally get it registered. You need it for nearly everything you want to do.

 

[Louise7]

Don't hesitate to get LPA's. My sisters and I finally got round to sorting out LPA's just over a year ago, having put it off for some time, but are so glad now that we did. Mum has recently been admitted to hospital and everyone I have had to deal with - doctors, social workers, bank and DWP - have all asked if I have LPA. It would have made a stressful situation ten times worse if I didn't have it. Getting LPA is relatively easy to do, can be done on-line, and comes through in about 3 months or so. You really don't want to be in a position of needing one but having left it too late (get both - financial and health & welfare).

 

[Onlyme]

Get both LPA; without the health one the Dr can exclude you from the room and make decisions without you. You have no legal rite to be in the room during meetings without it.

 

[Risa]

Definitely get both. My sister and I have found the Health LPA particularly vital as despite being Mum's children, our views wouldn't have been taken into account by medics without it. Dealing with dementia is hard enough without the added stress of having to battle with authorities because you don't have the right paperwork

 

[Pete R]

thats it basically, should my sisters and I bother getting LPA for my Mum who is in mid stages of dementia? have already had several 'disagreements' with them regarding various issues around Mums health, welfare, finances etc. Latest that I think we should have LPA in place, they not convinced its necessary. Any advice gratefully received,
thanks,
Jx

Yes of course get both done but it will be up to your Mum who she wants to be her attorney/s and that may prove to be difficult to accept for your or your Sisters.

Good Luck.

 

[oilovlam]

We don't have the 'Health & Wellbeing' LPA.....haven't had a problem yet. GP's talk to me (I'm her carer & run the 'show'). All medical professionals discuss with me mum's care....like why wouldn't they....unless I was being unreasonable. They can talk to mum (but they might as well talk to the brick wall) or they can talk to me, who know all about her care....they choose to talk to me.

Obviously if there are decisions that I disagree with then they have the ultimate say....but I assume that they will do the right (ethical) thing.

I'm not saying don't do the 'Health & Wellbeing' LPA....I think it can be done fairly cheaply now (there used to be talk of solicitors asking £800 for each type of LPA), so get it done just in case. But it isn't imperative in my experience.

I think the 'Health & Wellbeing' LPA may be important when dealing with social workers and the like. If a social worker wants to do something that you disagree with then you cannot fight them without the 'Health' LPA.....but social workers are so overworked I have very little contact with them. Besides most people are good & decent and want to help rather than hinder.

 

[Marnie63]

Just to highlight that I did have a problem with one Social Worker - and it could have been quite serious! I got the Finance PoA done with mum before dementia reared its ugly head. She had got to nearly 90 and it just didn't cross my mind that there would be any cognitive decline. Silly me. She had a suspected stroke and within three days was a completely different person. Fortunately there were, and to some extent still are, periods of lucidity. It was during one of these periods that I got the Welfare PoA signed up and off to the OPG.

While mum was in a care home last summer for an emergency respite stay (organised by SS, who were extremely helpful at the time), the SW who was allocated started hinting that I didn't have mum's best interests at heart (if only she knew what I've given up!) and suggesting a care home placement in Southampton (we live near Reading!). She was questioning mum about where her home was. Mum couldn't answer. I was terrified. SS were involved as mum is 'on their books' as she gets some funding for home care. I then told SW I was taking her out of the home (it was a dreadful place, but that's another story) and she 'threatened' me with the appointment of a mental heath advocate for mum. At that point I realised that they now had control over mum. That conversation with the SW took place on a Friday. I didn't eat all weekend, I was so worried. Sunday I went there and pulled her out, deciding that if she was back home, they would then have to prove I was 'mistreating' her. It all settled down and on Monday the same SW was fine with me on the phone. Someone suggested I log a formal complaint against her, but I guess she wasn't doing anything wrong as such, but she certainly didn't have an understanding of our situation. I didn't complain.

God, it was a horrible weekend, but some of that was probably down to my stupidity in saying I didn't trust myself with mum any more when I called SS and cried for help. Silly me again.

Anyway, point is that without me having Welfare PoA, they could have completely taken over. We now have it. Bizarrely, the very lucid afternoon was actually in that dreadful home. At least now I can rest easy that mum is totally under my control. I would recommend getting both done.

 

[Rosettastone57]

thats it basically, should my sisters and I bother getting LPA for my Mum who is in mid stages of dementia? have already had several 'disagreements' with them regarding various issues around Mums health, welfare, finances etc. Latest that I think we should have LPA in place, they not convinced its necessary. Any advice gratefully received,
thanks,
Jx

Hi as other posters have said having power of attorney is absolutely essential. My mother-in-law who is 91 and in the early stages would not be able to manage her finances and make appropriate decisions about her welfare. My husband and I realised well before her diagnosis that she was struggling with managing a number of issues so we decided to get power of attorney set up as soon as possible She was the type of person who would never spend any money in order to improve the quality of life. Without power of attorney over her finances we would not have been able to obtain the correct hearing aids for her because she wouldn't pay for them. We would not have been able to implement a hot food delivery because she's simply would have refused to pay. In addition having the power of attorney for health and welfare which is now lodged at the GP means we are now included or informed of some decisions regarding her medical issues . I personally wouldn't hesitate to try and implement power of attorney as soon as possible.

 

[hancmont]

thats it basically, should my sisters and I bother getting LPA for my Mum who is in mid stages of dementia? have already had several 'disagreements' with them regarding various issues around Mums health, welfare, finances etc. Latest that I think we should have LPA in place, they not convinced its necessary. Any advice gratefully received,
thanks,
Jx

I would say yes it is absolutely necessary if you don't want to go through the hassle of deputyship, which is costly and has to be done through the courts. We did it for our mum and it was a good job as she deteriorated quickly and ended up in a CH. As there is just my brother and I, we did a joint LPA, so one cannot make a decision without the other. Luckily my brother and I get on and have our mums best interests as our priority. It has allowed us to sell her flat to release funds to pay for her care. We did ours through a solicitor. If you do decide to do it, then your mum has to be in agreement and be able to show she has enough understanding about what it entails, so do it before her dementia advances too much. If she is not happy to do it or cannot show the solicitor that she is of 'sound enough mind' to make the decision, they will not go ahead with it.

 

[nicoise]

Sometimes it is felt that there are no family members suitable for deputyship, for a number of reasons including conflict over who should act as attorney or deputy, reluctance to act, or other concerns.

In that instance, a third-party deputy will be appointed, sometimes a professional who is paid for their role, funded by the "donor's" assets.

Yet another reason to set up LPA if you don't want someone else handling your relative's affairs!

 

[jaymor]

When my husband was diagnosed 12 years ago we both took out Enduring Power of Attotney, later We changed to Lasting Power of Attorney.

My thoughts are like a will, we should all have a LPA, it is just an insurance policy. My LPA can be operated before I loose capacity with my written consent or after loss of capacity.

Hopefully it will sit in the drawer and never see the light of day

 

[pitufi]

when i got both LPA's in place for mum, even the solicitor said it was on the nick of time. she seemed ok on the day but the witness (a SW) did say after that she wasnt sure if she would have mental capacity given her speech but half way thru their chat she became a bit clearer, but in hindsight, yes, we really did leave almost too late.

I am lucky that our relationship has always been a great one, so deep down there was no way m y mother thought i was trying to either take advantage or become controlling, i could see how old wounds might put people in need on edge before accepting the need for LPA.

My GP was kind and always kept me up to date and listened to my requests concerning my mum even before the LPA, however its taken nearly 2 years after the LPA being put in place for her to really hit rock bottom and got admitted to hospital. there they kept asking her if she wanted to go home, so they could clear a bed and send her packing, in the kindest way of course. and i had to remind them she has no capacity and i hold welfare LPA and to discuss her discharge care plan with ME.

without the LPA, they would have happily sent her home as soon as she asked to and be put in danger again, but because it had to go through me she will now be going to a care home where she will truly be safe and happier, surrounded by activities and kind helpful staff.