LPA and family feud

[CoffeeCup86]

Hi all,

My MIL has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and showing slight decline already, but is very much lucid enough to have capacity to make her own decisions. My partner and his two older siblings don’t speak, (and sadly don’t intend to, despite it all) so how can I press upon him the urgency of applying for LPA ? We think his older brother has already gone down that route, because she divulged that he took her to a solicitor to ‘sign something’ but couldn’t remember what.

I’ve worked in dementia care for over 15 years, and I’ve seen more than enough family feuds, so I don’t want the same stress for him.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Sorry to hear about your MIL @CoffeeCup86 family feuds are a very upsetting and often occur when dementia occurs especially if there is money concerned. If the older brother has already taken out LPA then I don't think that your husband can do much about it. My brother was the opposite and refused to even discuss LPA so I eventually went ahead and did it myself because someone had to. My brother was exceedingly unhappy about that but it was his own fault.

It is a bit worrying that he has taken her to a solicitor to sign something and that she can't remember what it was. He should have discussed it with other family members first like I tried to. I would advise that your husbands family work together with this and your husband should make the first move even if none of this is his fault but my experience says that may not happen.

Families are a flipping nuisance sometimes.

 

[MartinWL]

If your MIL is of sound mind as you say she is, able to make decisions, then it really is her decision. Could you ask her, does she speak to you?

 

[CoffeeCup86]

Sorry to hear about your MIL @CoffeeCup86 family feuds are a very upsetting and often occur when dementia occurs especially if there is money concerned. If the older brother has already taken out LPA then I don't think that your husband can do much about it. My brother was the opposite and refused to even discuss LPA so I eventually went ahead and did it myself because someone had to. My brother was exceedingly unhappy about that but it was his own fault.

It is a bit worrying that he has taken her to a solicitor to sign something and that she can't remember what it was. He should have discussed it with other family members first like I tried to. I would advise that your husbands family work together with this and your husband should make the first move even if none of this is his fault but my experience says that may not happen.

Families are a flipping nuisance sometimes.

I think I’ll try to encourage him to apply for it, there’s no way they’ll speak because they’re all too stubborn. Thank you for your insight, it’s appreciated!

 

[CoffeeCup86]

If your MIL is of sound mind as you say she is, able to make decisions, then it really is her decision. Could you ask her, does she speak to you?

No, we’re not particularly close, so I’m just an outsider looking in, I’m afraid.

 

[DesperateofDevon]

How about phoning up the solicitor or enquiring at the office of public guardian if LPA is held for your MIL
Really helpful folks on the end of the phone & all LPA are registered with the office of public guardian xx

 

[CoffeeCup86]

How about phoning up the solicitor or enquiring at the office of public guardian if LPA is held for your MIL
Really helpful folks on the end of the phone & all LPA are registered with the office of public guardian xx

Thank you so much, I never even knew this was a thing. I shall pass the information I found on to my OH so that he can fill in the forms needed. Thanks again!

 

[nitram]

@CoffeeCup86
You can find out for free if an LPA has been registered with the OPG by

Find out if someone has a registered attorney or deputy

Download and fill in this form to find out if someone has an attorney or deputy acting for them.

www.gov.uk

and posting or emailing the result to the OPG

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Hope this was helpful
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