1. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    We have just had a lovely day at the beach hut.............except that Lionel frets every time the children take the canoe out, swim, do any of the things that boys do.

    Sorry, I should explain, we were joined today by DIL and three grandsons. Life is becoming more dificult as his "awareness" skills decrease. I have noticed that the children are more aware of his eating habits etc

    Tonight, putting him to bed did not work, so called in the paramedics......at least he does not scream at them.

    I am not complainingt, as "his life is not his fault", but where does this leave me.
    Carers in every day (£155) to get him up, per week, and still I cannot call my life my own.
    "Is it too much to ask"
    I love him to bits, he is my life,
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Connie,
    What is it that you are saying? Where does it leave you? You are Lionel's wife and his carer, and the choice that you have made for the present is to put Lionel's needs before your own. You do not have the freedom to come and go as you wish; you are dependent on others to help you with the daily caring, but that is the choice that you have made. When the time comes that Lionel needs fulltime care, you will still be putting his needs before yours, because it will break your heart, but you will know that it is the right thing for Lionel. When we choose to love, we know that it will involve sacrifice - but none of us expect what you and many others are having to give. I just hope that if it is asked of me I have the strength and love to do it.
    Connie, you have to find what snippets of time for yourself that you can. Your grandchildren know that Lionel is ill, they will accept the strange behaviour is a result of his illness, and love him anyway, if that is the example that they are set by you and their parents.
    Hang on to the lovely days, th lovely hours, or the lovely moments.
    Thinking of you.
    Love Helen
     
  3. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Lovely day but

    Dear Connie,
    If Lionel is fretting every time the grandchildren do anything remotely risky, then surely that shows that he still cares about their well being. I think you are doing a remarkable job and I know that I would find it very difficult to cope in your situation.
    Maybe, if things seem more difficult at the moment, it could be the very hot weather or perhaps his medication needs to be adjusted again.
    I do envy you, having grandchildren, as we are still waiting for that joy. Those young boys must feel so proud of you, being such a caring grandmother. The lessons they must be learning about the value of caring, sharing, loving families are ones they will remember throughout their lives.
    Kayla
     
  4. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    757
    coventry
    Lovely day but

    Dear dear Connie
    I feel your pain you were and are so supportive with me since i started on TP I HAVE NOT READ ALL OF YOUR POSTS SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVE AND A BIG HUG WISH I COULD DO MORE any Ad situation is hard but i think very nearly 24 -7 is not easy

    As i have said before i wish this computor had arms that we could wrap around each other
    Lots OF LOVE BEL X
     

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