Took mum to the supermarket this morning (instead of just shopping for her) as she has been hankering for this for a while (I know ideally, I wouldn’t have chosen a Saturday morning to do it… but you know how it is…) On a good day, she can trundle round quite confidently, if very slowly, using one of the small trolleys for support. She has just had a couple of really good days and insisted today she wanted to choose things for herself – I thought I was on a ‘winner’. My son, as usual, is not just in tow but actively helping ‘grandma’ wherever he can…..
Ten minutes into the trip and it is disaster… she gets ‘shirty’ with staff and then –OMG – turns on my son – telling him he is annoying, getting in her way, a ‘bloody nuisance’ etc…..this to an 11-year old who loves her dearly and I think (as a mum is allowed?!) is quite brilliant with her, and has taken on board what Grandma’s illness is all about…. but to feel embarrassed and humiliated publicly takes some getting over at 11, even if he does understand on a logical level what might have made Grandma act as she did. (This is her first ‘outburst’).
Why did it have to be my son? Why not me? Today, she is not ‘mum’, but ‘some person’ who has distressed my child. Naturally, trip was aborted prematurely. We hadn’t got as far as the fresh bread counter and I offered to call for some en route home.. ‘No, no, I can manage…’
Well, if she’s going to put cooked meat on an iced bun for tea why should I care? I just had to leave her to it….. I was so angry at her for upsetting my child – her beloved grandchild…. She will have no doubt forgotten about it hours ago (if she recalls at all what she did in the first place) – how long to repair the damage to my son’s relationship with her and his confidence in her love for him??????
Feeling so hurt and confused….
Thanks for listening, Tender Face (Karen)
Ten minutes into the trip and it is disaster… she gets ‘shirty’ with staff and then –OMG – turns on my son – telling him he is annoying, getting in her way, a ‘bloody nuisance’ etc…..this to an 11-year old who loves her dearly and I think (as a mum is allowed?!) is quite brilliant with her, and has taken on board what Grandma’s illness is all about…. but to feel embarrassed and humiliated publicly takes some getting over at 11, even if he does understand on a logical level what might have made Grandma act as she did. (This is her first ‘outburst’).
Why did it have to be my son? Why not me? Today, she is not ‘mum’, but ‘some person’ who has distressed my child. Naturally, trip was aborted prematurely. We hadn’t got as far as the fresh bread counter and I offered to call for some en route home.. ‘No, no, I can manage…’
Well, if she’s going to put cooked meat on an iced bun for tea why should I care? I just had to leave her to it….. I was so angry at her for upsetting my child – her beloved grandchild…. She will have no doubt forgotten about it hours ago (if she recalls at all what she did in the first place) – how long to repair the damage to my son’s relationship with her and his confidence in her love for him??????
Feeling so hurt and confused….
Thanks for listening, Tender Face (Karen)