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Loved ones in a Care Home.

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,088
0
Yorkshire
Hi Rosebay
sometimes it all just catches up with us, doesn't it, usually, I find, just when I felt a bit more secure
sending a blanket of sympathy to wrap yourself in; maybe just stop and rest for a few moments
best wishes
 

Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
Am having a wobble moment everything has just overwhelmed me


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Hi Rosebay. It will pass. Take small steps. We all feel it's too much at times. The people on TP, like Pamann, who have been through this will help. Hugs and xxx
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
The hospital said they would ring me back but haven't yet. Have tried to ring three times since and no answer. The only information I have had today was he had a settled night. Rang the mental health nurse as she can access his records and he is classed as severe. No one knows how I managed for so long at home but I know how it was love. I can't seem to stop crying today. There is so much to sort out and I just can't do it without him. This is the longest thirteen days without him ever. Its the not knowing if he will even recognise me now that's killing me.


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Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,764
0
Salford
I really have the urge to get in my car, drive down to Rosebay's house and take her the Wirral myself. These people have no idea what pain this is causing you and if they did I'm sure they'd agree.
Yesterday was only the sixth day I haven't visited my wife since the 10th January and that was because I visit a friend of ours who has a serious illness and not long for this world, he was having a good day so I stayed longer than intended and got to the "sundowning" part of the day which means that if I had gone it might have got nasty with me.
It's been 2 weeks now and it's getting beyond a joke, I visited my wife from day one in the secure unit and was made very welcome.
K
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hello Rosebay, just catching up with your posts, sorry you have had a wobberly day, have you been to see your Dr if not l think it would be a good idea, you need something to help keep you calm. I have been comforting a friend today, she has very wobberly days, she lost her husband a month ago. I took her to see the Dr today as she is having panic attacks, he has given her some calming pills. I know you are so worried about your husband, he wouldn't like to know you are crying, it is very tough for you, l do think you need some help. I have had many bad days, some how l manage to get through them.
Once you know when and where your husband will be moved too, you will start to feel better. Sending you much love
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
Thank you am feeling a lot calmer now. Have booked a doctors appointment but not sure what i will say to her . It was just a bad day today. I tried to keep busy and clear out some rubbish but found it overwhelming. Hospital are going to move my husband back to my local hospital secure unit as soon as a bed is available so I have something positive to grab hold of now. He must be more settled if they are looking for a bed to move him to. Tomorrow will be a better day x


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Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
Thank you am feeling a lot calmer now. Have booked a doctors appointment but not sure what i will say to her . It was just a bad day today. I tried to keep busy and clear out some rubbish but found it overwhelming. Hospital are going to move my husband back to my local hospital secure unit as soon as a bed is available so I have something positive to grab hold of now. He must be more settled if they are looking for a bed to move him to. Tomorrow will be a better day x


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Hi Rosebay. That's very good that you have made a doctors appointment. May I Suggest if you're not sure what to say or might forget to mention something important, that you jot down a few notes before you go. If you can't explain, give the note to the doctor. Don't worry, they are quite used to helping people in your situation and, as others have said,you do need support yourself. Hope they are able to find a bed nearer home for your husband soon. I'm sure they will move him as soon as they are able to.x
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
0
Cotswolds
Ed has been relaxing in his new chair today, its 9.20pm l am still here with him, Oh how l wish he was happy all the time, today he has been so good, l must enjoy the time now, tomorrow it could all change, thought you would like a photo, he is still suited and booted ☺

So distinguished he looks....
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hello Anne, Ed's photo was taken 2 months ago, Dr stopped his Donpenzil 5wks ago, he has deteriorated so much now, lost balance and co ordination, doubley incontinent. I try to keep him nice but not easy now. Yesterday l was shocked when l went to see him he only had his pullups on, as soon as the carer's put his clothes on he took them off again. Today he has not taken his clothes off. He was in a mess this morning, he let the cleaner change him, its not her job, but she hates to see him in a mess, she is from Napal, her husband is a Gurka, that was so kind of her, l now go in to change him on my day off, as he cannot be left more than 12hrs.
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
0
Cotswolds
Hello Anne, Ed's photo was taken 2 months ago, Dr stopped his Donpenzil 5wks ago, he has deteriorated so much now, lost balance and co ordination, doubley incontinent. I try to keep him nice but not easy now. Yesterday l was shocked when l went to see him he only had his pullups on, as soon as the carer's put his clothes on he took them off again. Today he has not taken his clothes off. He was in a mess this morning, he let the cleaner change him, its not her job, but she hates to see him in a mess, she is from Napal, her husband is a Gurka, that was so kind of her, l now go in to change him on my day off, as he cannot be left more than 12hrs.

My husband's donapezil was stopped, and he went downhill, so the doctor brought it back again, along with the Memantine.
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
Yes thank you have managed to arrange transport. A very kind neighbour has offered to drop me off there on way to Ellesmere Port shopping outlet and then collect me on their way back. I am very emotional already about visiting but am going to try am hold everything together whilst I am there.


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Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
Yes thank you have managed to arrange transport. A very kind neighbour has offered to drop me off there on way to Ellesmere Port shopping outlet and then collect me on their way back. I am very emotional already about visiting but am going to try am hold everything together whilst I am there.


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Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
Yes thank you have managed to arrange transport. A very kind neighbour has offered to drop me off there on way to Ellesmere Port shopping outlet and then collect me on their way back. I am very emotional already about visiting but am going to try am hold everything together whilst I am there.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

Good luck today Rosebay. That's excellent news about the transport. It is bound to be an emotional experience but at least you will see your husband. Better than sitting at home worrying about him. Thinking of you and please let us know how your visit went when you can.xx