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Loved ones in a Care Home.

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,833
0
Thanks bugsbunny4 , I will keep trying to encourage her to those thoughts. I'm hoping she feels better once we can get him out of hospital into a care environment.
SS assessment of needs today and one if not two care homes on my visiting list ,amongst visiting dad .
Hope you all have good visits today /this week xx
 

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,833
0
Like that idea for my dad, not sure he will do it now , used to love joining all mums clothes pegs together ,took her ages to peg washing out( also engineer .. Took hospital wander alarm apart:D)
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,005
0
Colchester

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
My husband has started pulling his tie's apart, he is now on the 3rd one, he has always loved wearing his tie's, luckily l have kept them all it will take him quite a while to destroy 50 of them, maybe he will get bored with them after a while.
I took this one off him yesterday. If only he knew what he was doing, he would be horrified.
 

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Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
0
Cotswolds
My husband has started pulling his tie's apart, he is now on the 3rd one, he has always loved wearing his tie's, luckily l have kept them all it will take him quite a while to destroy 50 of them, maybe he will get bored with them after a while.
I took this one off him yesterday. If only he knew what he was doing, he would be horrified.

I've been looking at my husband's vast collection of ties, some special to him, and wondering......Now they might serve a purpose....He wasn't an engineer, he was aircrew in the RAF, and his speciality in his Care Home is organising The Great Escape!:D
 

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,833
0
Oh blimey he might have a rope made to escape out of a window , staff tied up :eek::D
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hello Ann and Kerry, just saw you replies, l cannot stop laughing, nice to have a laugh, l am going to stitch them up, so he can destroy them again ☺
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
Just rang care home they said have to be careful of choke hazards so maybe rubic cube and large Lego is the answer ??? But will still look at the plastic Meccano to see how small the pieces are. Unfortunately my husband is not easy shall we just say he is a challenge. I am hoping they will keep him but social services are coming out. I return home tomorrow to my empty house dreading it. We have been together 44 years I was suppose to be having just respite but I have been told my husband is now at risk and so am i so I guess I will have to accept I am no longer able to care for him at home. Oh well let's see what tomorrow brings I hope to make a few friends here I need some x


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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hello Rosebay, you will have many friends here we are all in the same boat as you. Try not to get too upset tomorrow, you need your strength to carry on, it will feel strange for a while. I do hope your husband will settle, then you will feel better. I know my husband is better in the CH than being at home, always so much going on, plenty to distract them.
I went away for a week after my Husband went into care, it is difficult when you return. Do you have any friendly neighbours? or family to support you. Keep posting xxx
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
I do have friendly neighbours thank you for asking but just rang care home and my husband is not responding to medication in fact it seems to make him worse if that's at all possible. The care home manager is meeting with social services asap and is going to suggest that he is sectioned. I can't take it all in. Will ring my adult social services worker as soon as I get home and the mental health nurse. I am getting very anxious again


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Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,764
0
Salford
I know that before you've said there's no secure unit in your LA/NHS area so where will they section him? I can't see the local general hospital wanting him the way he is.
I can only say that the sectioning and secure unit was the best thing that happened to my wife. She got 6 months of intensive medical attention from ever kind of doctor, psych, OT and everyone else, various medications were tried until a balance was achieved which seem to work fine. Most importantly she was cared for at a time when she was at the biggest risk to herself and others.
Sadly a lot of us hit a crisis like this and it totally shakes your world apart but it might be the most positive thing for him even if it's (like me) the last thing you want.
K
 

Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
I do have friendly neighbours thank you for asking but just rang care home and my husband is not responding to medication in fact it seems to make him worse if that's at all possible. The care home manager is meeting with social services asap and is going to suggest that he is sectioned. I can't take it all in. Will ring my adult social services worker as soon as I get home and the mental health nurse. I am getting very anxious again


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Thinking of you too Rosebay. We all know how you feel. Keep posting to get support from everyone on TP. Sending you love and hugs.
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
The assessment meeting is taking place as I type this at the home where my husband is with a view to sectioning him under section 2 to start with I am at the train station now waiting for my train home. It's going to be a long journey home especially not knowing what I will find at the other end. I wish I had never put him in respite. If was suppose to be a nice two week break away with the possibility of permanent care as I was having trouble accepting that the time had come for nursing home care Now after one week instead of the two I am back where I started with my anxiety levels and have no idea what happens next. It's frightening.


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Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,617
0
USA
Hi, Rosebay, we are all thinking of you and sending (virtual) support.

I am sorry to hear you are so upset and anxious. Not knowing what is going to happen doesn't help with either of those feelings, of course.

I know you know this, but try to remember that you didn't do anything wrong and you are not responsible for the current situation: the disease is. This is not your fault, this is the dementia's fault. I know it's much easier said than done, of course, but try to be kind to yourself.
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
Thank you Amy should be home by 7.30pm. They did promise me that Someone from the assessment team will ring me when I get home to let me know where my husband is. I need to see him asap probably not tonight though unless he is at the local hospital.


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Florence.

Registered User
Nov 7, 2012
116
0
Thank you Amy should be home by 7.30pm. They did promise me that Someone from the assessment team will ring me when I get home to let me know where my husband is. I need to see him asap probably not tonight though unless he is at the local hospital.


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Take one step at a time Rosebay. None of us knows what's round the corner and sometimes things we had hoped for can't happen. It's a difficult time but you will know in your heart what is the right thing for your husband to keep him safe and receive an assessment of his needs to help both of you. Sending a hug and so many thoughts X
 

Rosebay

Registered User
Jul 27, 2014
165
0
Oxfordshire
Thank you Florence. It's accepting the situation that I am struggling with I am by nature a very organised person and now my world seems completely out of my control and I can't find a way to make it right again


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