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Loved ones in a Care Home.

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
4,771
Salford
Did you actually read through those so called facts in their entirety? Essential fact 10 implies that a large majority of people hearing voices suffered abuse during marriage from their partner
Sorry Geof, but I think you're over reacting a little, section 10 says:
10.In research concerning people who hear voices it was found that 77% of the people diagnosed with schizophrenia the hearing of voices was related to traumatic experiences. These traumatic experiences varied from being sexually abused, physically abused, being extremely belittled over long periods from young age, being neglected during long periods as a youngster, being very aggressively treated in marriage, not being able to accept ones sexual identity, etc

It gives a list of possible causes only one of which is "aggressively treated in marriage" it also ended in "etc" implying there are even more than that so rather than the "large majority" you say it's just one on a list that ends with etc.
The statistics are that 60% of women and 40% of men so although men are more likely to the aggressor than the victim there are a lot of male victims of domestic violence too sad to say who may be hearing voice.
My wife talks to herself all the time and her mother died when she was 8 so maybe she was neglected as a child being brought up by her dad who worked full time, who really knows, maybe he belittled her too, again who knows.
I feel equally sorry for the people in all the groups be it; sexually abused or identity issues, neglected or mistreated in any way they're all possible contributing factors.
K
 

optocarol

Registered User
Nov 23, 2011
315
Auckland, New Zealand
Hi pam, thanks for your concern. I must admit that I've been down a bit lately and haven't posted. It's great that Anne has settled more and, as I said to Wigan, I hope that a review of her meds will get the voices back under control again. I've had to stop taking Skye to visit because Anne became too upset after he left. She still asks after him but seeing him in the flesh seems to reawaken all her fears for his safety (as seeing me also awakens her fears for mine).
On a different note, I've finally plucked up courage to take a short break away with Skye early next month. I've actually booked four nights away and we are going to walk part of Hadrian's Wall together. I must say I'm rather terrified of going away after all this time but it's now or never :eek:

I hope things are going ok for you and Ed now pam.
Hi Geof,

Haven't replied to your posts before, though have read them. So sorry about the voices, just when it seems things are more or less OK. I'm glad you're having a change, I'm sure you'll be glad you did, speaking from experience. It sounds like the ideal dog holiday too! :)
 

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,835
Hi pam, thanks for your concern. I must admit that I've been down a bit lately and haven't posted. It's great that Anne has settled more and, as I said to Wigan, I hope that a review of her meds will get the voices back under control again. I've had to stop taking Skye to visit because Anne became too upset after he left. She still asks after him but seeing him in the flesh seems to reawaken all her fears for his safety (as seeing me also awakens her fears for mine).
On a different note, I've finally plucked up courage to take a short break away with Skye early next month. I've actually booked four nights away and we are going to walk part of Hadrian's Wall together. I must say I'm rather terrified of going away after all this time but it's now or never :eek:

I hope things are going ok for you and Ed now pam.
Oooh where you waking geof?
I know someone who just did the 75miles:eek: I'm not far from the wall myself:D
 

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,835
It's funny a chord just struck with me . My dad is in hospital on his 4th week , always saw people etc ..he has t mentioned them, perhaps doesn't feel comfortable to with those around him who are more advanced than dad.
 

Geof

Registered User
Jun 1, 2016
51
Lancashire
Hi Geof,

Haven't replied to your posts before, though have read them. So sorry about the voices, just when it seems things are more or less OK. I'm glad you're having a change, I'm sure you'll be glad you did, speaking from experience. It sounds like the ideal dog holiday too! :)
Hi Carol, yes I'm sure Skye will enjoy himself, lots of new sniffs, a warm basket at the end of the day and pub cooked sausages for breakfast if he's lucky :)
 

Geof

Registered User
Jun 1, 2016
51
Lancashire
Oooh where you waking geof?
I know someone who just did the 75miles:eek: I'm not far from the wall myself:D
Hi Kjn, just a short stretch in Northumberland. Will spend most of the time visiting the forts. I'm staying near Durham so its an hours drive north to the wall but also handy for Hamsterley Forest which I've walked in some years ago.
 

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,835
Oh I'm further over , next time go further :D
Enjoy ..it, do you good .
Kerry x
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello Geof, sorry to hear you have been feeling a bit down, its to be expected at times, l have days like that.
Its good that you will be having a short break, hopefully it will lift your spirits. I went to Cyprus in Feb for a week with my bowls club, l enjoyed it so much, but have declined to go in Oct as l feel l can not leave Ed for a week, as he missed me
, thought he would never see me again. Enjoy your break Geof.
 

Wigan

Registered User
May 5, 2013
73
Thanks for your helpful reply, Wigan.
Anne has never been one to confide in strangers and it could well be that she only feels able to express her true feelings to me. I have told the CH staff and it's possible that her meds need adjusting again. She will be having a review in another week.
Oh I'm so glad they are carrying out a meds review. They need to get to the bottom of it as it's very distressing for both of you. Carers don't always know what's best and I'm sure you will use your own judgement as to how often you visit.

Take care.
 

Geof

Registered User
Jun 1, 2016
51
Lancashire
Well today I had my best visit ever :)

There was a musician visiting and all the residents were singing and dancing. I laughed till I cried watching some of the ladies jiving and jitterbugging in a tangle of sticks and walking frames. :D Anne seemed so happy and content surrounded by her new 'family'.

Tomorrow I set off for my first break in six years and I feel so much less guilty now that Anne seems so settled. It's a good memory to take with me.
 

Bugsbunny4

Registered User
Nov 6, 2015
80
Yorkshire
Well today I had my best visit ever :)

There was a musician visiting and all the residents were singing and dancing. I laughed till I cried watching some of the ladies jiving and jitterbugging in a tangle of sticks and walking frames. :D Anne seemed so happy and content surrounded by her new 'family'.

Tomorrow I set off for my first break in six years and I feel so much less guilty now that Anne seems so settled. It's a good memory to take with me.
Hi Geof,
Enjoy your break you deserve it.
Live for the moment every day and try to put behind you what you can't change.
X
 

Bugsbunny4

Registered User
Nov 6, 2015
80
Yorkshire
I think I had my worst visit today. My husband had convinced himself that we were going on holiday and kept asking when we were setting off. I was unable to get him off this theme, even the food ( home made stuff) I had taken failed to lighten his mood.
Finally I said I thought the doctor would think flying wouldn't be a good idea at the moment. That didn't go down well and he became quite verbally aggressive towards me saying it was typical of me not to want to do what he wanted , I never did!
He continued in this mode becoming more and more agitated so I finished up saying I would have to leave if he carried on because it was upsetting.
He said he didn't want me to leave him. I stayed three hours altogether and he calmed down but still had the idea in his head that he was coming home with me. So when I left at tea time he was pleading for me to take him with me. I could only think to say that perhaps we could do that another time.
Today has really put me off even thinking about taking him out because in his present mood he wouldn't go back in.
I think I will have tomorrow off and hope he is more calm when I visit next time.
 

optocarol

Registered User
Nov 23, 2011
315
Auckland, New Zealand
Oh dear, Bugsbunny, it's awful, isn't it? I think I'd definitely take a day off. A similar thing happened with me; seeing him standing on the other side of the door saying, "As far as I know I'm supposed to be going too," was one of my worse times. It certainly made me feel like not going back!

I tend to say we have to wait till the doctor says it's OK. Then he's likely to say, "What's wrong with you?" !! Sometimes it works, but if I have to I ask the staff for help as I need to go and they're great.

Hope it's all forgotten by now and he's in a better mood next time. Does he like music? I found playing what he liked on phone or tablet did help to change mood.
 

Geof

Registered User
Jun 1, 2016
51
Lancashire
I think I had my worst visit today. My husband had convinced himself that we were going on holiday and kept asking when we were setting off. I was unable to get him off this theme, even the food ( home made stuff) I had taken failed to lighten his mood.
Finally I said I thought the doctor would think flying wouldn't be a good idea at the moment. That didn't go down well and he became quite verbally aggressive towards me saying it was typical of me not to want to do what he wanted , I never did!
He continued in this mode becoming more and more agitated so I finished up saying I would have to leave if he carried on because it was upsetting.
He said he didn't want me to leave him. I stayed three hours altogether and he calmed down but still had the idea in his head that he was coming home with me. So when I left at tea time he was pleading for me to take him with me. I could only think to say that perhaps we could do that another time.
Today has really put me off even thinking about taking him out because in his present mood he wouldn't go back in.
I think I will have tomorrow off and hope he is more calm when I visit next time.
So sorry your visit didn't go so well. Hope next time is better for you.
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello Geof so pleased that Anne has settled, makes you feel better. Enjoy your trip away, hope the weather is kind to you.
 

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