Love my wife & I help her to live in hell !

[cris]

I love my wife to bits, but this morning, - as most mornings are becoming are a living hell for her. She is aware of her circumstances and knows where it is leading and "does not want to be here". She will not go to the toilet, not even try. Last time she went was 3o/c yesterday afternoon. She woke me the early hours this morning to tell me she had done sometime horrible. What ??? I think it must have been a dream/nightmare.
We have a doctors appointment this morning. I hope he can try a different "happy pill". Double dose of fluoxetine is not as good now as it was.
She has been up a couple of hours now and has calmed down, is sorry, (still won't have breakfast or drink) and has taken her medication.
But it occurred to me that I love my wife but I help her (make her even) to live in hell.
cris

 

[connie]

Dear cris, have just read your post in tears.

I do know where you are coming from, it is like a living nightmare, both for you and your dear wife.

We did move on from this phase, and that is my only comfort to you. At one point last year Lionel was exactly like your wife. Each phase seems to pass, only to be presented with another.

Do hope that the doctor can do something to help you both at this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love

 

[cris]

Thanks Connie. Thankfully Susan is happy to go to the doctors and take her medication.
cris

 

[mel]

Hi Cris
Oh to witness this turmoil is heartbreaking.
I often used to feel like you.....I had to regularly coax mum to take her medication and often asked myself why?
But we persevere....we want to make life as good as possible because we love and we care.
I hope the visit to the doctor goes well.
I had problems with mum using the toilet.....she would flatly refuse to go or even try. I discovered eventually she just didn't know what to do....she didn't recognise what a toilet was for.....
Love Wendy xx

 

[cris]

Only an update incase anyone wants to know. Briefly happy pills need more time to work. If constipated you will not want to eat / drink. Fair, but Susan is not really constipated. A very mild laxative prescribed. Also went for a blood test to check thyroid. results 2 /3 days. It is hard for the doctor to diagnose and in fairness he checked her tummy and phoned the hospital where Susan was taken 2weeks ago.
cris

 

[Helena]

Having witnessed my Mother refuse food drink medications etc i am absolutely sure its their only way of getting out of the hell they are in

At times the staff in the hospital tried to cajole her into eating or taking her pills or put her on a drip which she tried to pull out but all that did was prolong the agony

How ever much we love the relatives/partners/friends with VD or AD i have come to the sad conclusion that we are not doing them or us any favours by trying to interfere in nature

 

[cris]

Helena. At the doctors this morning he asked her outright was she trying to be self-destructive by not eating & drinking. I think depression is playing a very big part. Susan has always loved her food, and I cook fairly good, always fresh, no ready made meals. Fresh fruit deserts, make my own soups etc. I point that out 'cos some might think me being a man it will be "beer 'n curries". If we can get past the depression, we can tackle the next hurdle.
cris

 

[cris]

We returned from the eye hospital a little while ago. Susan has the sight of an 80 yr old. Glasses will not improve vision, it is the retina failing. She is being registered as severely sight impaired or was it sight impaired.
And there's me telling her she has to go on.
there is no god
cris

 

[Margarita]

And there's me telling her she has to go on

Sounds like your doing the right thing in telling her that , even if you don't feel like it , I know its not easy for you in seeing susan the way she is , Just believe in yourself that your doing the right thing for Susan , because in my view you are xx