love my mum

[toura]

hi all well iv come to my decision keeping mum
upstairs in bed not good pulling her about she so tired
well her body is so its time to let nature take its cause
i do fell guilty about this but its for the best have notice
changes like breathing she blows out of her mouth now that's new
and gurgles coming from throat this has all happened
since mum came home from hospital had a fright tonight
whys feeding mum she stared to chock that's new to i guess
its all part of the package don't know any more just crying more and more now cause i cant help anymore got so much anger
in side of me i prayed last night to not take mum from me
wat a selfless person i am i hate my brother and sisters don't even phone to ask about mum or me. mum and me r in this together
i might be house bound but mum is bedridden and to me that worse
i guess you heard all this before but if i didn't have all u lovely people to talk to i would had gone absolute mad
also jojo this is for u thank u so much for all the
help u have giving me well god bless u all and good night
hope tomorrow is a brighter day for mum

 

[JeanD]

Dear Toura,

I am so sorry you are having to go through this on your own. Perhaps in the morning you could ring your local hospice ? Sometimes they have people who can sit with you and your mum at night, or drop in during the day.

I know how awful it is to watch someone choking. Your GP should be able to prescribe some thickener to add to your mum's food and drink. It makes it less likely to go down the wrong way.

I don't know what else to say, except take care of yourself, and I hope your mum is a bit better tomorrow.

love Jean

 

[Margarita]

i might be house bound but mum is bedridden and to me that worse

i might be house bound

Our you saying that you don't get no help from Social services to help you wash change your mother? OR give you time out to do shopping? or even from the district nurses ?

 

[zonkjonk]

oh toura, you are SO strong, and you ARE helping your dear Mum, but you cant stop the course of dementia no matter what you do.
has your mum become totally bedridden now? can she walk at all?

wat a selfless person i am i hate my brother and sisters don't even phone to ask about mum or me. mum and me r in this together

no,no,no...you are the most giving loving daughter a mum could wish for, she has you
I would be resentful too, in your situation if my siblings didnt even call

no guilt taura, your brothers and sisters will have guilt, but you cannot and will not because you are a star for your mum.try not to be scared.....you are looking after your mum to the best of your abilities...your mum would not expect any more
love from Jo

 

[toura]

hi i do everything for mum from washing to eating ect ect ect i do shopping on line now cause cant get out sorry
district nurse wat help can i get from then
hi jo yes mum is bedridden now cant get her to stand
let alone walk its all gone downhill wished there was
an uphill still she manages to smile at me and that's gives me
the strength to Cary on (just to see mum smile)

 

[EllieS]

To a Wonderful Daughter

Dear Toura

What a wonderful daughter you are but y'know there's only so much that a person can do and the Health Service should be there for you and your Mum.

If you are unsure of how to go about getting help please make a quick call to the Alzheimers help line or Age Concern.

I think one of the Moderators will probably be able to provide the freephone numbers for you.

Hey, don't forget that you too deserve some help - your Mum would want that for you too, I'm sure.

Stay strong but ring those numbers - there are people there who's job it is to help you.

Meanwhile, isn't Talking Point a great place to cry, scream, laugh and listen?

Please take care.

Ellie

 

[Sam Iam]

Toura you are a STAR,your Mum has an angel looking after her.

You are doing well and dont let your brothers and sisters get you down, they are not worth it, You stand head and shoulders above them.
Love to you and Mumxx

 

[Softy]

Toura you have great strength the love that you have for your Mum is lovely to read about. We cannot beat AD we must not beat ourselves up with what we cannot do but find pleasure in the little things that we can do. We can be there and we can love them I believe that my Dad can feel that from me, sitting and holding his hand is the highlight of my day now. I am thinking about you and your Mum take care. Softy

 

[zonkjonk]

hi toura ..its me again.
do you need someone to help now?
as you know you can get help with care.
I cant tell you who to ring as I am in melbourne.
If you need some one to come in and help now, reply to this post.
other TP members will direct you.
TP ers, please help toura with names and phone numbers
Jo

 

[toura]

help

hi jo thank you yes i would like to know
the option for help so i can decide what's the best
for mum and me

 

[Amber 5]

Herfordshire Social Services

Hi Toura,
The tel. no. for Adult Care Services in Hertfordshire is 01923 471400 (8am - 8pm Mon-Fri; and 9am - 4pm Sat)
There is an Emergency Duty Team (out of hours) - same tel no. and you get put through.
Website is: www.hertsdirect.org

Just to let you know how I managed to get my mum assessed by social services - her GP referred her to a memory clinic and when someone from there contacted me to ask lots of questions about how mum was, she immediately contacted social services after that call and they responded very quickly to get round and assess her. (My mum does live alone though, so I get the impression that if they have someone living and caring for them, they don't always act quickly).

You will need to stress that you are on your own looking after your mum and are doing everything on your own and need an assessment of the situation (for your mum and for your own sake).

I'm sure there are other people who will help you, who have been in the system longer than me.

Keep us posted and good luck.
love Gill x

ps Maybe calling the out of hours number will make them realise YOU NEED HELP.

 

[Margaret W]

Hi Toura

Is your mum's poor breathing perhaps pneumonia? I suggest this cos my little mum died of pneumonia, while sitting upright, and choking. There was no previous diagnosis of pneumonia. She was not bed-bound or immobile. But that was decided as the cause of death after a post-mortem. Get your mum checked out if you have not already, also for emphysema which has similar symptoms, but the investigations might be so unpleasant you don't want to do them, but at least find out.

Love

Margaret

 

[zonkjonk]

thanks Gill, toura let us know what happens when you ring the number Gill has supplied. They can help you and your mum
Love from Jo

 

[zonkjonk]

"bump"
I am thinking of you toura...whats happening...are you and your mum all right
love from Jo

 

[toura]

hi jo sorry comp broke down phoned ss no one there to talk to
they said would phone back still waiting phone then monday