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Lots of advice/ help needed please?

Trudes

New member
Jul 29, 2020
9
0
Hi, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2018. Until recently we were managing pretty well.
Sadly he had a TIA, followed by a full stroke over the Easter weekend. He has regained his mobility, such as it is...so is lucky there.
The strokes were brought on by atrial fibrillation which he had only been diagnosed with a short time before.
He is now home with all the needed meds but sadly has many more problems and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
He now has vascular dementia and disphasia on top of his Alzheimers. At good times we can understand each other, but mostly we cannot successfully communicate, so I cannot always understand his needs. He is eating very little and has to be encouraged to drink as well.
He rarely recognises me or our home, doesn't know where he is and cannot manage any personal care without me.
Sorry to rattle on but I'm finding everything difficult and need the experience of others to offer suggestions of what I can do?
PS, he cannot be left at any time and I have a daughter who will pop in for me to get a couple of hours catching up.
Thank you for reading x
 

Quite contrary

Registered User
Jan 5, 2020
324
0
Ilford, Essex
Hello @Trudes
My husband was also diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018 and, strangely, a week before Easter collapsed twice in a short space of time. I was also worried that it was a TIA but it turned out that he had a very irregular heartbeat causing lack of oxygen to the brain. I was so worried that it would cause a massive downturn his dementia but, unlike you, we seem to have escaped that and with increase in his heart medication he seems to be stable. I am so sorry that things have turned out different for you and am afraid I do not have any suggestions but just wanted to send my love to you x
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
2,453
0
Newcastle
Hi @Trudes and welcome to posting on the forum. Now that you have I hope that you will get the sort of support from our members that helped me so much. What I found made the biggest difference was to share the workload via paid for services: a carer/befriender to allow me some time off, a day centre that my wife soon refused to go to, and several short respite stays. Anything that gives you a break will be worth trying.
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
Sorry your husband's condition is progressing so badly @Trudes. I was just going to suggest the same things as northumbrian k and a care needs assessment from your local social services would be a good place to start asking what is available in your area as well as making them aware of what is needed for you both.
 

Trudes

New member
Jul 29, 2020
9
0
Hi @Trudes and welcome to posting on the forum. Now that you have I hope that you will get the sort of support from our members that helped me so much. What I found made the biggest difference was to share the workload via paid for services: a carer/befriender to allow me some time off, a day centre that my wife soon refused to go to, and several short respite stays. Anything that gives you a break will be worth trying.
Thank you Nortumbrian K x
 

Trudes

New member
Jul 29, 2020
9
0
Sorry your husband's condition is progressing so badly @Trudes. I was just going to suggest the same things as northumbrian k and a care needs assessment from your local social services would be a good place to start asking what is available in your area as well as making them aware of what is needed for you both.
Thank you Nae, I'll try and contact them. Thank you x
 

Hazel 1944

New member
Dec 14, 2021
7
0
Hi, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2018. Until recently we were managing pretty well.
Sadly he had a TIA, followed by a full stroke over the Easter weekend. He has regained his mobility, such as it is...so is lucky there.
The strokes were brought on by atrial fibrillation which he had only been diagnosed with a short time before.
He is now home with all the needed meds but sadly has many more problems and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
He now has vascular dementia and disphasia on top of his Alzheimers. At good times we can understand each other, but mostly we cannot successfully communicate, so I cannot always understand his needs. He is eating very little and has to be encouraged to drink as well.
He rarely recognises me or our home, doesn't know where he is and cannot manage any personal care without me.
Sorry to rattle on but I'm finding everything difficult and need the experience of others to offer suggestions of what I can do?
PS, he cannot be left at any time and I have a daughter who will pop in for me to get a couple of hours catching up.
Thank you for reading x
Hi Trudes
It is a very very overwhelming situation for you. Hopefully some of the advice offered will get you some respite.
My husbands alzheimers is visibly declining. He wears a pacemaker, has an essential tremor and is receiving immunotherapy for a high grade bladder cancer.
I find it helpful to recall our relationship of 54 years and know that he would not want me

Hi, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2018. Until recently we were managing pretty well.
Sadly he had a TIA, followed by a full stroke over the Easter weekend. He has regained his mobility, such as it is...so is lucky there.
The strokes were brought on by atrial fibrillation which he had only been diagnosed with a short time before.
He is now home with all the needed meds but sadly has many more problems and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
He now has vascular dementia and disphasia on top of his Alzheimers. At good times we can understand each other, but mostly we cannot successfully communicate, so I cannot always understand his needs. He is eating very little and has to be encouraged to drink as well.
He rarely recognises me or our home, doesn't know where he is and cannot manage any personal care without me.
Sorry to rattle on but I'm finding everything difficult and need the experience of others to offer suggestions of what I can do?
PS, he cannot be left at any time and I have a daughter who will pop in for me to get a couple of hours catching up.
Thank you for reading x
Hi Trudes
It is a very very overwhelming situation for you. Hopefully some of the advice offered will get you some respite.
My husbands alzheimers is visibly declining. He wears a pacemaker, has an essential tremor and is receiving immunotherapy for a high grade bladder cancer.
I find it helpful to recall our relationship of 54 years and know that he would not want me to lose myself as a carer. This makes my decisions easier.
Another sad truth is that money helps.
Good Luck with it all.
Being overwhelmed is a totally normal reaction to your situation.
Hazel
 

Trudes

New member
Jul 29, 2020
9
0
Hi Trudes
It is a very very overwhelming situation for you. Hopefully some of the advice offered will get you some respite.
My husbands alzheimers is visibly declining. He wears a pacemaker, has an essential tremor and is receiving immunotherapy for a high grade bladder cancer.
I find it helpful to recall our relationship of 54 years and know that he would not want me


Hi Trudes
It is a very very overwhelming situation for you. Hopefully some of the advice offered will get you some respite.
My husbands alzheimers is visibly declining. He wears a pacemaker, has an essential tremor and is receiving immunotherapy for a high grade bladder cancer.
I find it helpful to recall our relationship of 54 years and know that he would not want me to lose myself as a carer. This makes my decisions easier.
Another sad truth is that money helps.
Good Luck with it all.
Being overwhelmed is a totally normal reaction to your situation.
Hazel
Oh Hazel, very difficult times. Thank you for your reply and take good care of yourself , Trudes x
 

Trudes

New member
Jul 29, 2020
9
0
Hi @Trudes and welcome to posting on the forum. Now that you have I hope that you will get the sort of support from our members that helped me so much. What I found made the biggest difference was to share the workload via paid for services: a carer/befriender to allow me some time off, a day centre that my wife soon refused to go to, and several short respite stays. Anything that gives you a break will be worth trying.
Thank you Northumbrian, yes, I think that would be helpful. My 'shadow' is asleep, so I'm catching up. Thanks again, Trudes x