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Lost my temper :(

JaxG

Registered User
May 15, 2021
151
0
Thanks, yes I don't feel guilty any more and feel emotionally detached from him now so don't get upset like I used to by negative/rude/aggressive comments. I do go out quite a bit with friends for walks and coffees, and have found the more I do it the more he seems to be getting used to it being the norm. Stay strong.
This sounds like me talking!! After several years of emotional and verbal abuse I no longer love OH, and as you say he can't hurt me any more. I mutter and swear under my breath, and know that at least I will emerge from this nightmare and hope it is sooner rather than later. Look after yourself 😍
 

Rollwithflow

Registered User
May 15, 2019
39
0
I been practising ' Bangs' the last few days and its been quite successful in helping me cope with various situations. I've been quite proud of myself for being able to agree with him, not argue with him etc - all of which I've been really struggling with. However, its all just gone tits up. We both had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. I asked him if he was going to take down the shelves in the spare room tomorrow after I spent today clearing the way for it. He said he was going to have to shred all the papers in the filing cabinet first. Actually they are MY papers in MY filing cabinet and no one is shredding anything!!
Instead of saying something like ' oh thats good but why don't we do it together next weekend' or ' oh, you've got enough to do, why don't you let me do that' Instead of saying something sensible like that I told him not to touch MY papers because they are none of his business. He then got on the confusion bus back to his management days 40 years ago and said stuff like it was his business because he was the manager.
My heads hurts now from all the shouting we did back and forth. Again, not proud of myself. It's a steep learning curve isn't it. Have any of you guys got it down to a fine art now or does that never happen?
Hello, I think you forgot what you're really dealing with. He has a disease and it doesn't get any better. He may not do and say what you want to hear anymore. Please know that sharing a glass of wine together may be over. It does not help the situation at all! Have a glass when he's sleep. Patience Charley...Talk to your doctor for coping mechanisms. Read "The 36 Hour Day" for understanding. Good luck!
 

Rollwithflow

Registered User
May 15, 2019
39
0
I feel guilty whenever I reach the end of my tether and snap at my husband. After a few minutes when I tell him I'm sorry for shouting at him. He says, 'Oh did you shout at me? I didn't notice.'
So please don't feel bad at letting off steam. I think the thing to guard against is having a big row too often with your husband. In my case it can wear me out and stress me more than trying to turn the other cheek.
We are all individuals, as are the poor devlls we are caring for, so whatever works for me might not work for you, but I wish you good luck. It's hard work but we can only try.
It's very hard work with few options. This is our new assignment and we just do it to the best of our ability, day after day after day. Put on your big girl undies and keep smiling. Please be very aware that they feed off your emotions and expressions.