Hi
@eve67 - I'm so sorry to read your post but I'm so glad you shared it.
My own husband died coming up for 2 years ago so I can understand how must be feeling. I confess I think it's hard to consider stages of bereavement. My experience is like that of a roller coaster. I have times when things are going reasonably well and there are times when I'm just overcome by it all.
I think looking after yourself by having something like the reflexology can only be to the good. I know you are feeling exhausted after them but grief is exhausting. I know that others on this forum have engaged in counselling after they have been bereaved. I haven't done so myself but perhaps it's something which might help you now. Perhaps it might be useful to contact CRUSE and talk things through with someone there. I know the advisors will be very experienced. This is the link.
https://www.cruse.org.uk
We also have our own helpline. It's just about to close now but it's something else you might consider. The number is -
0300 222 11 22 and the opening hours are as follows -
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
It's so good that you have posted here. There will always be someone around to listen. Take care.
Edit - just an afterthought - you asked how long this stage will last - I think that's impossible to say as we are all different. This link on the cycle of grief might be interesting for you. The last bit says 'find good listeners'. That's where TP comes in.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/politics97/diana/cycle.html