Recently, when I have visited my mother, in a care home in the mid to late stages of mixed dementia, I and other family members have noticed a steep decline in her language - i.e she doesn't have the words for what she wants to say. I know this is to be expected, I just wonder how others have dealt with this. Specifically
She will ask me a question or make a comment, and I can't work out what she means. This may include nonsense words "diddle diddle" "1234" etc or some comments out of context. I am not making any judgement here about this and I know there isn't a lot that can be done.
If I try to reply with something generic, oh, don't worry, or that was nice wasn't it? In a calming positive tone, this doesn't always work as she can see I haven't always understood. She then gets very angry and upset.
If I say honestly that I am not sure what she means, she also gets upset.
I try to keep up a flow of interesting conversation and observations, but this is hard, especially when she wants to contribute.
Has anyone found any way of behaving - watching body language, using pictures or signs, hand gestures to help with this?
Some days are better than others and I do reassure her that this isn't her fault, but she is a clever woman and is hugely frustrated and diminished by this cruel disease.
I did wonder about using a pad and a pen, but I am not sure she would be able to write things down.
One thing I have noticed - it is worse if she has more than one visitor at a time, as if you aren't careful you end up having a conversation that can (unintentionally) exclude her, which she hates.
She will ask me a question or make a comment, and I can't work out what she means. This may include nonsense words "diddle diddle" "1234" etc or some comments out of context. I am not making any judgement here about this and I know there isn't a lot that can be done.
If I try to reply with something generic, oh, don't worry, or that was nice wasn't it? In a calming positive tone, this doesn't always work as she can see I haven't always understood. She then gets very angry and upset.
If I say honestly that I am not sure what she means, she also gets upset.
I try to keep up a flow of interesting conversation and observations, but this is hard, especially when she wants to contribute.
Has anyone found any way of behaving - watching body language, using pictures or signs, hand gestures to help with this?
Some days are better than others and I do reassure her that this isn't her fault, but she is a clever woman and is hugely frustrated and diminished by this cruel disease.
I did wonder about using a pad and a pen, but I am not sure she would be able to write things down.
One thing I have noticed - it is worse if she has more than one visitor at a time, as if you aren't careful you end up having a conversation that can (unintentionally) exclude her, which she hates.