Hi Helen
I really empathise with all you've said
3 years ago my mum and dad were both alive.......ok....dad had cancer and I was blissfully unaware of mums dementia(to my shame.....
...however I've learned so much more about this disease now......at the time I thought she'd become a little eccentric
)
My kids were 15,13 and 11 and still pretty dependant on me.
Dad depended on me to take him to his hospital appointments, to chat to him for hours on the phone when he was in pain or feeling low.
When he died I took over the care of mum.
When mum died i suddenly found I no longer had anyone to care for. I no longer had mum, I no longer had 3 children who depended on me ....but 2 young independent adults of 18 and 16. Even my 12 year old has branched out on his own this year....taking himself off into town,going swimming,going to the pictures.....
My eldest will leave the nest next year.
My daughter the year after.
It's a period of readjustment, Helen.....and you and I will get through it....it's just a case of struggling to find a new role for us!
We will always be needed by our "children"....it might not feel like it right now.
We've done the best we can for our families and we've nurtured our kids for so long and we've given them wings to fly away...........it hurts but we done good, Helen
.....never forget that
I'm so glad you posted this.
And another confession, when I read posts about parents doing this, that and the other - I just want to say - well make the most of it - at least you still have them. I know that it is wrong to think that, cos I have not forgotten the pain they are going through - because I used to want it to end too. But part of me feels angry and jealous.
This I understand......it does ease with time I promise.......
Love as always
xxxx