Hi everyone. I posted on this forum last year. My last topic was "moving forward" and I was so very grateful for all the support given to me by the wonderful people on this list. My mother was diagnosed 24th dec 2003 and that Christmas and months afterwards were a nightmare. I wrote letters here when I thought I was going under. I know that , compared to the experiences of other carers, mine was not so bad, but it seemed that way at the time. I was lucky enough to get mum into a residential home last march, and the medication Mum is on has controlled her condition well. due to human error, in June Mum's Thyroxine was discontinued without my knowledge and by October she was immobile and looked like a zombie. The home could not cope with the level of care she needed and I had to quickly find a nursing home for her. This was when I discovered the medication foul-up, quite by chance and by being nosey. She improved enormously but the setback was not completely reversible and I have joined the ranks of the 'Nursing home user'. In my limited experience of private homes, and by talking to other carers, in a short time I have discovered a network of inefficient care, too many staff who just do not care and a brick wall of indifference which is the management. I was a nurse for many years and I just cannot believe that the care assistants receive so little training. The staff are mixed. with may who do know what to do, but too many who do not. Mum is now very ill and has been on Morphine for a few days. It is very difficult to handle. She is now mostly comfortable and more free from the pain of her pressure sore , which is what I wanted for her, but I cant reach her. That is my problem and I just have to deal with it. A few people have written about the multiple losses as a parent or loved one goes through several stages of the disease and I think I have reached the penultimate loss of my mother. I am feeling very weird.. I can’t really try to come to terms with what is going on because of the need to be with my mother a lot of the time, first of all because I want to be there, and secondly to keep the staff on their toes and doing things correctly. I feel desperately sorry for the residents who do not have relatives looking after their well being. Thank you very much for listening and if I can help anyone using the benefit of my experiences, I will be very glad to do so. Ruth.