losing driving licence question

[carolinecarer]

I'm new to talking point. Our mil has just had driving licence revoked and taken it really badly. She cannot understand why. Taken her to drs to explain but she has obviously forgotten and now each day we are getting calls and abuse that we have stopped her. She and we are obviously distressed although understand why and don't disagree now with decision. The question is this, do we now just keep saying we've taken your car for the moment as they have taken your licence for now and will review in a month and keep saying that! Radical I know but it's been suggested by someone as a way to reducing the stress to both her and us as everyday she goes over the same conversation and obviously her short term memory is so bad she can't remember the reasons why etc, not that she agrees anyway obviously. Thank you in advance. Just mulling over different things!

 

[carolinecarer]

Meant to also say, we have taken keys and car already

 

[Noorza]

You have done the right thing, blame the DVLA, say they were snooping spying, they took it and you are angry with them too. Then do nothing to help her get it back. Try to divert her temper to the DVLA because she needs you even though she doesn't realise it right now. It's a common thing with dementia sorry.

 

[greatmeadow]

I'm new to talking point. Our mil has just had driving licence revoked and taken it really badly. She cannot understand why. Taken her to drs to explain but she has obviously forgotten and now each day we are getting calls and abuse that we have stopped her. She and we are obviously distressed although understand why and don't disagree now with decision. The question is this, do we now just keep saying we've taken your car for the moment as they have taken your licence for now and will review in a month and keep saying that! Radical I know but it's been suggested by someone as a way to reducing the stress to both her and us as everyday she goes over the same conversation and obviously her short term memory is so bad she can't remember the reasons why etc, not that she agrees anyway obviously. Thank you in advance. Just mulling over different things!

Tough one Carolinecarer. My wife has a one-year licence, due to expire shortly, and I suspect they may well not renew. Her car is still on the drive, as a sort of comfort blanket. Her insurance is due in 3 weeks, so will be faced with having to decide what to do, and expect her to get angry if I say we should sell it. I think she knows she will never drive again.

I would suggest you blame DVLA and that you are trying to take action to get it back. Bureaucracy and red tape could then turn out to be your best friend as "the process is bound to be arduous".

Take care
greatmeadow

 

[carolinecarer]

Thank you for your replies and advice. Have had a terrible time but she's started to settle more now and does accept it more now. X

 

[grove]

Welcome Colin

Hello Caroline , first of all can I give you a big T P Welcome from me & hope you find T Point as friendly , supportive & helpful as I have done ( my Father has mild / mid stage Dementia & still at Home with Mum Try & support Parents as much as I can we live near each other )


You did the right thing taking both the Car & keys & taking M -in Law for a talk with the G P , not being able to drive is all ways hard ( Dad was with me for reporting him , Mum was too upset to do it )


Glad your Mum -in - Law is accepting it more & has calmed down


Looking forward to seeing you around on T Point ( see you also live in a lovely part of the world same as me ! )

Edit to add am so sorry called you Colin ! must have misread the name ! so sorry ) Edit .....( Had to report Dad as he was not safe Driving & made 3 unsafe driving mistakes just added that as our situation was slightly different too your M-in-Law )



Best Wishes


Grove x

 

[IloveNY]

I'm new to talking point. Our mil has just had driving licence revoked and taken it really badly. She cannot understand why. Taken her to drs to explain but she has obviously forgotten and now each day we are getting calls and abuse that we have stopped her. She and we are obviously distressed although understand why and don't disagree now with decision. The question is this, do we now just keep saying we've taken your car for the moment as they have taken your licence for now and will review in a month and keep saying that! Radical I know but it's been suggested by someone as a way to reducing the stress to both her and us as everyday she goes over the same conversation and obviously her short term memory is so bad she can't remember the reasons why etc, not that she agrees anyway obviously. Thank you in advance. Just mulling over different things!

Personally, sell the car ASAP. My mother phoned the police to "report" I'd "stolen" her car despite mine being on her drive. I'd taken her car to charge the battery. I had to show the Dr's report saying "recommended not to drive" but she still - somewhat- understandably created. Good luck!

 

[keegan]

Personally, sell the car ASAP. My mother phoned the police to "report" I'd "stolen" her car despite mine being on her drive. I'd taken her car to charge the battery. I had to show the Dr's report saying "recommended not to drive" but she still - somewhat- understandably created. Good luck!

Hubby had his licence revoked and he just won't accept it. Eventually I paid 180.00 for him to take a test at an assessment centre (knowing full well he would not pass). He failed and the full report was sent to our home address explaining why, hubby still would not accept decision. He has calmed down abit about the driving at the moment, however take him on a long journey and all the old memories of driving come back and we end up with him being upset about having his licence being taken off him. Dread going out in the car sometimes I feel it would be easier if I sold the car and we both used public transport...........