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loosing June

pins tony

Registered User
Oct 20, 2014
213
bristol
hi I haven't been on talking point for a long time.I can't sleep as is usual for me.my lovely wife June does not recognize me anymore I see her every day still.but she seems to recognize the care staff this is breaking my heart I knew this would happen how can I stand not to be recognized after knowing her for nearly 61years I don't think I can cope much longer
 

Mrsbusy

Registered User
Aug 15, 2015
355
Sorry you are awake at this time, everything seems worse at this time doesn't it? I know it must be so hard for you when your lovely wife doesn't recognise you, but I'm sure as others have experienced on here they will be times even maybe just a fleeting glimpse that she knows you are a person she can trust and knows well but is unable to put it into words or actions.

It must be so hard, I know when my mum asks who is J**** and its me it hurts , but it's the blasted disease that seems to be winning some days isn't it.

I'm sure June is grateful for the 61 years you have been together, my parents aren't far behind you. But unfortunately they both have dementia so I dread to think how it will end for them. At least you have had the time to ensure you did you best for her before she went into a care home, and managed to choose a home for her and she felt reliant on you which is a compliment to how she felt about you. I'm sure she still does but is probably just as frustrated as you feel. There will be sunny times still to come I'm sure.

You keep fighting for June,and check she's doing okay and visiting her and I'm sure you will see a smile or a wink when you least expect it. You can't give up June wouldn't want you too, the same as you wouldn't want her to if the roles were reversed. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,072
Scotland
For as long as you are there and remembering June as she was then she is always there - alive and young in your memory. That is what makes humans special. We can remember all the special things about our loved ones long after the essence of them has gone.

Be happy - you have much good to remember. She would be so pleased to know you remember.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
12,914
England
It is very hard and heartbreaking when it happens and I wondered how I would get past this. It has been over 5 years since my husband forgot me, his wife if forty five years, his friend of nearly 60 years. He is content in my company, trusts me to help him as he does his carers. He smiles for the carers all the time, he smiles for me sometimes.

I have learned that this is ok, it would be so much worse if he did not accept me. It is a hard lesson to learn and difficult to accept but for my own sanity I have accepted it. We are all different in what we can accept but I do hope that acceptance and contentment will come for you too.

Take care and very best wishes to you and June.