Hello
I'm new to this site and thought I would introduce myself. My name is Cheryl and my mother got diagnosed with vascular dementia in April 2014, she is only 62. Since her diagnoses she has rapidly gone down hill and my brother and I had to place my mother into restpite care. Our dad has also been very unwell and spent 5 months in Oxford hospital, he had open heart surgery in October 2014. This was one the main reason why mum was placed in to respite care as dad wasn't there.
She was walking off, leaving the front door open, leaving the oven/hob on full blast, not taking tablets or and even not remembering to eat. Since mum has been in the home she has become incontinent,refusing to shower/bath and seems to be getting worse. She has lost a lot of weight, conversation is really hard; but she does still know who my brother and I are which is wonderful, i'm really really scared about the future.
Since my dad learnt of the diagnoses he doesn't seem to be taking it seriously, he tells my mum that he will break her out of the 'prison' we've (me and my brother) put her in, and that she will get better and that dementia isnt bad. He's not engaging with the social work team, he barely visits my mum and doesn't realise what she needs.
A simple trip out for a cup of tea/cake involves quite a lot of preparation time, having a changing bag with me, having to think about ten steps ahead. I used to be able to go out on shopping trips with my mum and tell her everything...now she cant even remember what she did that same morning.
This sounds really selfish but i have been and i am really struggling with the diagnoses, i feel like i've lost my best friend. I'm looking for support, guidance and possibly reassurance and that i'm not on my own.
I appreciate any responses
Cheryl x
I'm new to this site and thought I would introduce myself. My name is Cheryl and my mother got diagnosed with vascular dementia in April 2014, she is only 62. Since her diagnoses she has rapidly gone down hill and my brother and I had to place my mother into restpite care. Our dad has also been very unwell and spent 5 months in Oxford hospital, he had open heart surgery in October 2014. This was one the main reason why mum was placed in to respite care as dad wasn't there.
She was walking off, leaving the front door open, leaving the oven/hob on full blast, not taking tablets or and even not remembering to eat. Since mum has been in the home she has become incontinent,refusing to shower/bath and seems to be getting worse. She has lost a lot of weight, conversation is really hard; but she does still know who my brother and I are which is wonderful, i'm really really scared about the future.
Since my dad learnt of the diagnoses he doesn't seem to be taking it seriously, he tells my mum that he will break her out of the 'prison' we've (me and my brother) put her in, and that she will get better and that dementia isnt bad. He's not engaging with the social work team, he barely visits my mum and doesn't realise what she needs.
A simple trip out for a cup of tea/cake involves quite a lot of preparation time, having a changing bag with me, having to think about ten steps ahead. I used to be able to go out on shopping trips with my mum and tell her everything...now she cant even remember what she did that same morning.
This sounds really selfish but i have been and i am really struggling with the diagnoses, i feel like i've lost my best friend. I'm looking for support, guidance and possibly reassurance and that i'm not on my own.
I appreciate any responses
Cheryl x